111 GSR moments
by Fleppy85
Summary: Short stories of 111 CSI episodes, placing Sara and Grissom after a case in a diner, talking about the case...and sometimes more. From season 1 to 12
1. Cool change

Cool change (1.2.)

"Thanks for throwing me into the pool of sharks." Sara sat opposite to the man at the little booth in the diner. It was a little diner, a couple of blocks away from The Strip and the crime lab. The best place for a man like him to have breakfast and end a night – or an early day, depends on how the case ended. With a smile she noticed she knew things like this about him and had some idea about his behavior.

"What pool of sharks?"

"I think you call them your colleagues. Or your team."

"Oh." Grissom looked at her like she told him a fairy tale. "Did you have any problems? They weren't nice to you?"

"No, they weren't."

"I don't understand, they're really nice people."

"Grissom, I'm a concept of the enemy, I came here to find out if one of them failed. It's like you call I.A. and they know, I could have broken the team up. Could have ended the career of one of them. Of course they hate me."

"You were trying to help us out. I told them I want you here so I.A. won't investigate. That I trust you and you're not the enemy."

"They don't see it this way. And I'm not sure if it' a good idea that I stay." She nodded at the waitress who put the coffee in front of her. A big mug, black, sugar and no milk. Something to make her brain work again.

"Of course it is. Why wouldn't it?"

"Because of the things I just mentioned?" She sighed. Sometimes she felt like she was talking to brick walls. Didn't she just mention a reason why it wasn't good she was around? Why she should go back to San Francisco. Most people, to be exact, the people she was supposed to work with, weren't happy she was here.

"I'd like to have you here."

Great. These seven words were enough to convince her. How stupid was she? Not only his opinion mattered. Being a CSI meant being a member of a team and you couldn't be a real help when the rest of the team didn't see you as a member. Felt like you were the enemy. Then again, he was the boss and she…she was here because of him. Because he asked her to come here.

"Do you really think it's a good idea when I stay?"

"I can't think of somebody else. You're the one I want here, I want to work with. You're the best Sara and I want nothing but the best for my team."

Now her made her feel warm. Great. She wanted to make decisions with her head and not with her…not with any other part of her body.

"Okay, I'll give it a try."

"You won't regret it."

"We'll see. Do you hide her often?"

"Who says I'm hiding?"

"I talked to your team, they know almost nothing about you. I bet they don't know you have breakfast here."

"How did you find me?"

"I put a bug under your car."

His face was priceless. He believed her for a second before he realized she was joking.

"Sure."

"I followed you. There was something I wanted to ask you but you were at your car and didn't hear me calling your name."

"What did you want to ask?"

"I asked it already. Grissom, if you really want me to stay, there's one condition: we'll meet here frequently. I came here because of you and if you want me to stay in Vegas, we'll meet for breakfast frequently."

"Coffee."

"Beg your pardon."

"We'll meet for coffee and it's strictly work related. I don't meet colleagues for breakfast or dinner."

"So coffee and work it is." She lifted her cup of coffee. All she wanted was some time with him, somebody who didn't hate her and knew, she wasn't the enemy. Until her colleagues understood this, it would take some time.


	2. Crate'n burial

Note of author: Thanks for the reviews. I'll try to update a new chapter every day

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Crate'n burial (1.3.)

Sara had to admit she was a little bit surprised when she saw Grissom. Yes, they said they'd meet here for coffee after the case but she never really expected him to be here. To keep his word and make some time for her. Let her into his world, even when it was nothing more than a tiny step inside this mystic Gilbert Grissom world.

"Hey, you're here."

"Yes, I guess I am." He sent her a smile like there had never been the possibility he didn't show up..

"You know, I wasn't sure if you really come."

"How could I let the woman, who asked me to tape her up, sit alone in a diner? Somebody might take advantage of her."

"I'm not taped up anymore." She smiled. Duct tape was so useful, not only to keep her kit together. It got people closer. "My man cut the tape instead of throwing me into a hole in the desert, ready to let me die."

"Lucky you trust the right guy. Might be because there weren't two million dollars waiting for him. Two million reasons to let the woman suffocate. Greed, one of the seven deadly sins."

"Deadly for her, not for him. Or almost deadly."

"In a way their lives are over. They'll both spend a long time in jail and when they're out, nobody will be there to welcome them. And no money. The Nevada state prison instead of a hacienda in Mexico. Life takes unexpected turns all the time."

"Sometimes you get what you deserve. Justice can't be served all the time but when it does, I makes me feel good. How about you?"

"I try not to have any personal feelings towards my cases, no matter how they end. If we let the work become personal, it's not work anymore. A certain distance to your case, to your work, lets your mind stay sharp. When you're involved too much you might get blind spots and that can be fatal in our job." He looked out of the window like he was watching a thought gone by.

"Emotions towards other people can always hurt, not only in the job."

"True. But the human being is made to be with somebody. We're gregarious animals, can't live without our community."

"Even when the community is bad for us, like in our case. Jack loved Laura, she didn't care about him, had an affair with Chip, who wanted nothing else than Jack's money. A little community of bad feelings and acts."

"But they weren't alone."

"Jack will suffer double now. He lost his wife and he lost his believe in love. The two million are still his money but it won't make him happy, won't make up for what he lost."

"Is the solution to stay alone?" Grissom asked.

Sara thought about it. "No. It's a solution but not the solution. It's like with your bugs, they're better together. Alone, they can't survive."

"We'll all die in the end but until that our life is more fun when we're with somebody of our own, somebody we can rely on, trust completely. Like a good waitress who brings you coffee whenever your cup is empty. And you don't have to call her because she just knows." He exchanged a smile with the waitress, who toped up his coffee and left the table without a word, only a smile. Sometimes you didn't need words to be understood.


	3. Who are you

Who are you (1.6.)

"Did you ever try pottery?" Grissom greeted Sara before she could sit down with her coffee.

"Uhm, no." Irritated the brunette spilled a few drops of her coffee and wiped the table clean with a napkin. "Why?" Did he plan to send her to a pottery course? Make her find a new hobby or something like that.

"I tried something similar to it. Or it felt like I imagine pottering does feel. A facial reconstruction."

"Terri Miller. I heard you met the best forensic anthropologist in the States and Canada. How is she?"

"Amazing."

"Amazing?" Hearing Grissom calling a woman amazing made Sara feel…strange. Being interested or affected by a woman wasn't like him. Usually only bugs got his attention. She should know, she tried hard to get his attention when they met the first time in San Francisco. And now he called a woman, he barely knew, amazing.

"Yes. It's a mix between art and talent or probably both. I wish she would work with us in the lab."

"Luckily we don't need a forensic anthropologist very often." Sara wasn't sure she wanted Terri Miller more often.

"We could all lean a lot from her."

"If you say so." Did her voice just sound a little bit snappy? Maybe it was better to change the topic, make him forget Terri Miller. "Brass is still mad because Warrick and me thought his officer killed the man."

"You had an eye witness."

"Yeah."

"And no evidence."

"No evidence that pointed toward a suicide. I mean, what could have we done different? This boy told us the officer shot, there was a missing bullet and…did we go ahead of the evidence?"

"No. You didn't have real evidence. The most important piece was missing. And you learnt why the most important piece is the most important one. It can change everything. Makes a homicide a suicide, a guilty officer an innocent and framed man."

"Brass was really mad…well, you saw him in the department. Why did it feel like we were on different sides? We all work law enforcement, we all try to get the bad guys and whoever shoots a person is the bad guy, no matter what his occupation is. Unfortunately there are dirty cops."

"Black and white, Sara. There's always more than black and white. Brass will be fine, give him some time."

"Send him to a pottery course?" Now why she putting up the topic again? Was it her curiosity? Finding out if something happened? Something she didn't want to happen.

Grissom smiled. "Maybe. I know a good teacher."

"Did you sit there like Demi Moore and Patrick Swazy in 'Ghost'?" Immediately she heard 'Unchained melody" and saw the scene in front of her eyes. So cute. If it hadn't been him and Terri Miller but him and her. A quiet sighed escaped her mouth.

"I beg your pardon?"

"A very famous movie…never mind."

"Maybe we will watch it one day together." He rose. "I see you tonight."

"Yeah." Her eyes followed him when he left the building. Maybe. And the Righteous Brothers kept singing.


	4. Anonymous

Anonymous (1.8.)

Usually Grissom was a man, who held back his feeling. His colleagues and – when he had them at all – friends barely knew in what kind of mood he was. When he spoke to suspects and witnesses he was calm, let them talk and never raised his voice. Knowing this, it was even more a surprise when Brass told her Grissom lost his temper when he talked to a witness.

When she arrived in the diner they met all the time and his spot was empty, she wasn't surprised. On her cell phone was no message, he didn't call. Was he simply late?

A serial killer. Her first serial killer in Vegas. A patient one. He stroke three months ago the first time, now the second. It was like he would vanish and strike again in a couple of months. Or vanish completely? They knew how he looked, Grissom had talked to him, knew his name. He had no chance to hide. Sooner or later they'd get him.

"Sorry I'm late."

There he was, dressed in the same clothes like at work, so he didn't go home to change, to have a few minutes for himself. Meant also, he didn't come back from home to see her. He must have been in the lab the whole time.

"Hey." Shadows under his eyes told her he wasn't in a relaxed mood.

"He was there."

"Who? Millander? Where?"

"In the lab. When I came back the receptionist told me a friend stopped by to say hello. He didn't leave his name and left. Not without waving into the security camera. Millander knew I wasn't in, he knew we were at his storehouse. First he tells me he has his thumb on me, then he plays me and at the end he leaves an envelope with an empty sheet of paper."

"What does that mean?" She kept her voice as calm as possible. He was nervous, angry and she had to find a way to calm him.

"We've got nothing."

"Cath said this guy is exceptional." Sara waited until the waitress put the coffee in front of Grissom and left. "She is right about that."

"Paul Millander, there's nothing on him in the computer. It's like he doesn't exist."

"He does and he killed. Twice."

"We didn't give him any reasons not to kill for a third time." Grissom watched his coffee, didn't touch the cup.

"Tell me more about the first case, you worked it, didn't you?" Maybe it helped when he talked it through.

"Yes. The first time was shortly before you came to Vegas, a couple of days earlier. A staged suicide, the same fingerprint. I admire his mind. Use a mold of your own hand, that you sell as a Halloween toy, so everybody can buy it. The perfect alibi. I should have known the coincidence was too…there are no coincidences in our job."

"No." Not many. "He's after a certain type of man?"

"His victims are single men, born on August seventeen. One year apart. He started with nineteen fifty-nine."

Sara looked at him and wondered about his birthday. All she knew it was in August and she didn't dare to ask the exact date. What she also knew was the year he was born. Nineteen fifty-six. And he was aware of these things too. It was Grissom, always was aware of facts.


	5. Unfriendly sky

Unfriendly sky (1.9.)

An unusual crime scene, the most unusual crime scene Sara had ever been to. A plane. A dead man on a plane, a possible homicide and only twelve hours to work on the scene. Plus ten possible suspects in first class. So much for no pressure.

"Feel like taking a day off and flying somewhere?" She greeted Grissom, who was already on his seat.

"No thanks, I spent enough time in a plane for a couple of weeks. How about you?"

"I don't think my supervisor gives me a week off." With a smirk she sat down.

"Dou you feel like being on a plane now?"

"No. And I still think these passengers don't deserve to be in their hotel rooms, they should be in custody."

"I'm with you on that, we've five suspects, five killer. The problem is the jury won't see it this way."

"Why did he not tell the flight assistant how he felt?"

"He did. He told her about his headache. Other than that, I guess he had no idea what was going on with his body. It's an example of what happens when you step on one person's toes. It doesn't have to be a bad intention, when the guy is annoyed he'll let it look like you did it on purpose. The others don't like your nose, they're on his side. You ask for the flight attendant, you are a complicated client. When you're complaining the bathroom is locked for over ten minutes nobody will tell think you're right, they will say you're looking for trouble. And so the domino effects goes on and on."

"Until you try to open the exit and people kill you."

"Kill you when you're away from the exit, aren't a threat anymore."

"Makes the child and the blind man the innocent ones."

"And the two people in the lavatory…oh, I've got something for you." He handed her a magazine.

"Applied psychodynamics in forensic science." Did she just blush? He didn't make this up, the article had to be real.

"Yes. I thought I give you a copy and you can decide if you want to subscribe it. In case you need some other…experiences…some you can use in court. Although I'm sure Ken Fuller and his hazel eyes will be with you…maybe not with the result of the experience…"

"I was young, you do all kind of things when you're young."

He only smirked.

"Don't tell me you never did anything like that."

"I won't tell you anything."

"Oh, that's not fair."

"Might make you think twice the next time when you relate about something personal. Or dare people."

"I didn't dare you…not…much." Okay, that was a lie and they both knew it. "You won't tell the guys, will you? About me being a member of the mile high club."

"What do you think?"

No, he wouldn't. She knew it. He was keeping his private life private and wasn't the kind of person, who told everybody about the little secrets he heard from other people. Her little secret of the mile high club was safe with him.


	6. Sex, lies and larvae

Sex, lies and larvae (1.10)

"Sleeping in your bed is much better for you than on a table in the lab." Grissom smiled when he sat down opposite of Sara in the diner. "You look more rested now."

"I am." She smiled thinly.

"Do you sleep better now? Without…hearing screams?"

"Yes." Sara sighed. "To a certain degree you were right, I empathized with the victim. It makes me sick to think there are men outside who think they can do whatever they want to their wives and girlfriends. In his house, my behave wasn't professional, I admit that, but it showed how he saw women, how he treated his wife."

"He'll get what he deserves."

"There are so many others like him out there, you'll never get them all. And every single of these women who will find a man like him, will stay with him until he kills. No matter how often he punches them, gets them into hospital, swears he won't do it again only to repeat all a few days later because she pissed him off by being a minute late, the dinner isn't cooked the way he wants or there's dirt on the floor."

"Those kind of men have dependent spouses and for them it's worse to be alone than being abused."

"Yeah." Her eyes caught a child outside, who had dropped the bagel on the ground. The woman next to the child was clearly not happy about it and told the child off. She never raised her hand but the voice and words could hurt as much as hands could.

"Do you believe aggressive behavior gets passed on from one generation to the other?"

"Hard to say."

"When you see nothing else than violence you don't know anything else, think it's the way life's supposed to be."

"Until you learn different and then it's up to you to use what you've just learnt."

"It's hard to change your behavior."

"Pavlov proofed you can learn and unlearn a behavior."

"Maybe human being isn't as smart as a dog." She paused to think about her next question. A personal one, not case related. Or was it? It was something he ordered her to do. Asked her to do. "What about Warrick?"

"I don't know." He sighed. The taped showed Warrick gambling in the casino while he was supposed to work. Ecklie had been right, nothing that made Grissom happy but at the moment not his biggest problem. He knew he had to do something, there had to be consequences. It wasn't between him and Warrick, not between him, Warrick and Sara, no, Ecklie and probably half of the other shift knew about it, it was only a question of time until everybody knew. By then he must have have acted.

"I'll figure something out."

"Want some help? I'm quite good in figuring things out."

A small smile appeared on his face, a sad one. "Yes you are, but I have to do this alone. I'm the supervisor, it's my job to handle this."

"Until you do and until Warrick doesn't say a word, I'll keep this between you and me. Promise."

"Thanks." He never expected anything else of her. That was the reason why he asked her again to investigate Warrick. She was trustworthy. He could rely on her, no matter what the problem was.


	7. Too tough to die

Too tough to die (1.16)

A tough case. A case that became personal. Too personal. She was too involved. From the beginning she knew it and couldn't change it. At the end she became unfair and knew this too. Being vulnerable made you say and do things you regret later.

Today was the first time Sara didn't go to the diner after her shift ended. The first time since she worked in Vegas she didn't feel like facing Grissom. Whom she owned an apology. Not now. Not today. Today there were only tears and this feeling of being useless, helpless and misunderstood.

What do you do?

What do you like?

Innocent question, he had no bad intentions when he asked her these questions. Yet she felt like he was telling her off. He worried. It made her feel even worse that he worried, tried to help her and she…she wasn't in a state of taking help from anybody.

A life out of work. Not a walk in the park. Not for her. Work had always been her life, what she lived for, liked to do. She became a CSI for a reason and for her this reason was enough to devote her life to it, to work. How could a hobby be as satisfying as her job? Sure, when she went out for a run she felt better afterwards, but it didn't change a thing. She wanted to use her energy to change the world, make it a better place. The world didn't get better because she ran every day through the park. As a CSI she could change the world to a better place, make it a better place for other people. People who couldn't change the world by themselves anymore.

Like Pamela. Only twenty-six, her life ahead and now it was over. Because of a young man, who thought he could do whatever he felt like. He took her life away. Yes, she was still alive but she wasn't living. She vegetated. And her husband was happy she was alive. For how long? How will he feel when he realizes she will never be the wife he used to know? Never had a wedding life again. Would he move on?

When would she be able to move on?

* * *

Grissom knew Sara wouldn't come. When he arrived at the diner and saw their table was empty he knew right away, today Sara would miss their daily coffee. Her last words to him were still in his head, he heard them over and over again.

I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything.

He did feel. Of course he did. He felt helpless and sad because she was sad and there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. Not as her supervisor and was what he was. As her supervisor he had to tell her to keep her distance, don't get involved in the case, don't get close to the victims. It was important to stick to these rules so you don't burn out. Easy to understand when you weren't involved in a case that caught you. It happened to him too and there was no guarantee it won't happen to him again.

She cried in front of him. He was sure he was the only person she open up to, trusted enough to show her real feelings. And what did he do? Tell her it wasn't good, it was wrong to show these feelings. Words a supervisor had to say. You can't be the friend of somebody you've to supervise, could you? And a friend was exactly who Sara needed now. In general. He had the feeling she was very lonely and lost. For a long time he thought he was lost but he has never been as lost as Sara today.

The problem was, what could he do to change this? How could he safe her without crossing lines he wasn't supposed to cross? Because if he did cross them he did exactly what he tried to her not to do: be professional and don't get personal involved.

Now what?


	8. Gentle gentle

Gentle, gentle (1.19)

When the entire team worked on the same case it was a high profile case. Most times it meant, an important person – or somebody with a lot of money – was missing, killed or called the police, who called CSI to work the scene. Pressure from the mayor, the press and the Sheriff included. Then there were cases when the CSI decided it was a high profile case, a case that made all the other cases step back.

The faked abduction and killing of baby Zachary was one of these cases. It started with a ransom note Grissom got and ended with the team working all on this case, nothing else, including Grissom getting into Greg's face and telling him, the FBI has to wait, his case was the only one he was working on. A scene Sara had never seen, never expected to witness. It wasn't the Grissom she knew, who acted like…she had no words for it, in the lab.

And yet, she understood him. Better than most people.

"You have a bruise." She pointed to the little mark above his eyes.

"Got hit by one of the crazy reporters. Catherine gave me ice but there was no time to sit around and nurse a little bruise."

"Makes you look tough."

"I'm pleased to hear that." He answered ironically.

"The family is back home?"

"Yes. A counselor is with them. All three are blaming themselves for what happened. Tyler because he was on the phone and his parents for not being at home, not taking care of their children."

"Only Robby has no idea what's going on."

"He isn't the guilty one."

"No." You couldn't blame a three years old one for playing with his little brother. Playing and being…too intense. But it didn't make it easier. At one point Robby will learn what he did as a toddler and from that moment on, there'll be guilt and his life will never be the same again. As much as Sara hoped, it would take a long time before that day, she knew, it will come.

"I'm sorry." Grissom said.

"What for?" Sara couldn't recall an incident he had to be sorry for.

"For not being in control of my feelings, of not doing what I expected you to do and do the mistake I accused you of doing a few weeks ago. This case, finding the dead baby on the golf course, made me lose my professionalism."

She put her hand for a second on his. "It made you human."

"Thanks."

"I guess it's normal that we all lose it at one point. The important thing is that there are people around, who are there for you, understand you and make you feel better. Sometimes it helps to talk about it, have somebody doing nothing else than listen to your words, the thoughts and nightmares. Or sit together, have a coffee and be quiet together."

"The last one sounds perfect for me now."

"Then we should do that." She smiled.

He took her hand and squeezed it for a second before he got his attention to his coffee. The rest of the time they sat together in silence, hanging after their own thoughts and glad they didn't have to talk. Sometimes it was good to have somebody to talk to. Sometimes it was even better to have somebody you could be quiet with.


	9. The Strip strangler

The Strip strangler (1.23)

"Now it's like most times." Sara leant back and watched Warrick leave the diner. After the breakfast with the team to celebrate catching the Strip Strangler, it was only her and Grissom, who remained in the diner. Cath left half an hour ago to get Lindsey to school, Nick followed her a few minutes later, with Warrick gone, it was the two of them. And their two coffees.

"Yeah."

"Can you come back to the lab or are you still on this two weeks holiday shit? Nice way of saying you're suspended."

"I can come back."

"Good. You were right." She paused. "Do you want to come back? Or do you prefer to have a few days off?"

"I had some time off, that was enough. My team needs somebody to look after them. Otherwise they come up with strange ideas like playing a human bait for a serial killer. I don't like it when one of my team member's life is at risk."

"Under the surveillance of the FBI and LVPD."

"The FBI who can't tell what is a serial killer case and what not. A husband, who wants to get rid off his wife because she cheats on him isn't a serial killer. When three single women are killed in their home, a wife in a hotel room can't be the fourth scene."

"You're right. The FBI wanted their success."

"The FBI and the Sheriff wanted the people of Las Vegas and tourists feel safe again. By lying to them." Another example of how politics was more important than the safety of people. It was enough to feel safe, you don't have to be safe.

"Politics."

"That's what it's called."

"I call it bullshit."

He smiled. "It's because you are as bad as I am when it comes to politics. We both have to learn this."

"Why? We're scientists and not politicians. The difference is quite easy: scientists look for the truth while politics look for another lie."

"When you want success you have to play politics I got told."

"I'm fine as a CSI, no need to become a supervisor because I've got a really good one, and have no interest in being the Undersheriff or Sheriff."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Never ever offer yourself as a bait. Yes, you're trained in weaponless defense but a serial killer is likely to overpower you. Either because he works out too or because he has his way to knock you out before you know what his intentions are. This guy in the supermarket, no doubt about it, you could have handle him but the killer…it's never a good idea to face a killer on your own."

"Says the one who went after him. Alone."

"A stupid thing to do and I almost paid for it with my life. Catherine saved me, you need back-up when you do dangerous things. I learnt that too and I won't walk up to a potential serial killers house without a gun and back-up anymore. I learnt my lesson. Can you learn from my mistake?"

"I can try." She smiled. "Thanks for worrying about me."

His eyes laid softly on her. "I worry about you all the time, Sara."


	10. Burked

Burked (2.1)

"How comes you're always right?"

"I'm not always right, I'm most times right. Why?" Grissom shook his head when the waitress came to him with more coffee. There was still enough coffee in his mug.

"The case. You knew right from the beginning it's not a suicide."

"People, who commit suicide don't leave the TV on. They try to have everything in order before they die, make it look nice and tidy. They prepare themselves."

"With all the drugs around, he could have not being able to prepare the room."

"Then it wasn't a planed suicide, it was an accident."

"Like I said, how comes you're always right?"

"Experience. You'll get there too."

"Hopefully. Did you realize I work for almost a year here in Vegas now?"

"Yes. Do you still like it?"

"Absolutely."

"Good. I'm glad to have you here, Sara."

"Thanks." They had worked a lot of cases together and Sara couldn't help but whenever they shared a crime scene, she enjoyed work more. It was good to be with him, to work with him.

"Did this case remind you of something? Historical?"

"One brother killing the other?" She asked with a smirk. "Cain and Abel. The older brother kills his younger brother making the first ever born human a killer and his brother the first victim."

He smiled pleased. "Yes. Walt told a story about a frog and a scorpion, that the scorpion can't help but kill the frog, who tried to help him. In his eyes, he was the scorpion and Tony the frog. They could have have it all, the whole Sam Braun empire, be rich men and never have to worry about anything again. Instead one kills the other and goes to jail. Now none of them has anything."

"Why share when you can have it all? Why change yourself when you got away with everything your entire life?"

"That's the problem with this people: they think they're smarter than the rest, will get away with everything. And then they'll fall over a little stone and break their neck."

"A maid who has a day off, an unlocked garden gate, a gardener who follows the dogs instead of simply closing the gate behind them. Little things, nothing to worry about when they come alone, together they ruin an entire murder plan."

"And chigger bites on your leg."

"You being an entomologist know an insect when you see a bite, for many other it had been only an insect bite, like you get many of them during summer."

"If he had seen a doctor or used a crème for his leg, I had never found out about it. I was lucky."

"All the luck is worth nothing without knowledge. You were rewarded for your knowledge." She said. "It pays out to be a geek sometimes."

"You must know, you're a geek yourself." He blinked at her.


	11. Overload

Overload (2.3)

"And God said, Let there be light." Sara dropped a bag in front of Grissom.

"And there was light. What is that?"

"A surprise."

"I like surprises." He opened the bag and found pickles and a package of hot dog sausages inside.

"In case you might want to be reminded of your college time, remember the good old times."

"Thanks. Want to come over for a hot dog with pickles?"

"No, thanks." Sipping on her coffee she looked at the bag. "How do you prepare your hot dogs nowadays?"

"I buy them ready to eat."

"Sounds sensible…Grissom, I'm really sorry for letting you down. You're my boss and I shouldn't quit a case before you tell me, no matter what the Sheriff says."

"You were doing politics."

"I assumed you were doing politics."

"No…not my style. And if I start doing politics you guys have less to bet on. What was your call? 2:1 for wrong, 5:1 for suspended or 10:1 for fired?"

"50:1 for you being right as you're usually. Which doesn't mean you're not getting into trouble. Rule number one: the Sheriff is always right."

"Who told you that?"

"My politics teacher. I took some private lessons."

"Interesting. Want to learn something more?"

"Sure."

"You were wrong at one point."

"When?"

"You are not safe in a car during a thunderstorm because of the rubber tires. You're safe because you don't touch the sides of the car. There's no electricity inside the car, only on the sides. "

"Oh." She blushed. A lesson from her supervisor, who caught her making a stupid mistake. As a scientist she should have known it better.

"Never mind, we all learn every day."

"What did you learn in this case?"

"The Sheriff and me will continue to work together just fine because I let him be the hero and stay behind him. You can say, I learnt a lot about politics."

"Amazing. Almost as amazing as finding out a little bit of your past."

"I beg your pardon?" He looked confused.

"You told us something about your college time. Grissom, you don't tell us much about your past, about you as a private person."

"I'm not the only one who keeps the private life out of the lab, am I?" He shot back dryly and slightly amused.

"True." She smiled. They were alike, in a lot of ways.


	12. Bully for you

Bully for you (2.4.)

"You're late." Grissom was about to leave when Sara entered the diner and slipped on the place opposite to him, out of breath, her face slightly red.

"Sorry." She took a deep breath.

"It's okay. Is it reason why you don't smell anymore?"

"No, but thanks for the tip with the lemon, it worked out – after I used half a dozen." It was a little bit strange to take a bag of lemons with you in the shower but whatever it took to get rid off the smell. She didn't want to smell like a decomposed body anymore.

"Every time again."

"Hopefully we won't have a case like that any time soon again."

"You never know. He was killed for annoying people."

"By a man who treated him like garbage and thinks he did nothing wrong. How can you put somebody in a bag, kick this bag down a hill and drive back home like nothing has happened? Do people have a conscience?"

"They do but some don't use it."

"He served the country, was missing for a long time and in the end nobody was there for him, nobody missed him."

"The prize of being alone."

"Yeah." Sara's thought moved on for a moment, made her look like she was daydreaming. "A reason to make sure you're not alone."

"From an anthropological point of view we're not supposed to be alone."

"But we are. You and me. Who will miss us when we're gone? Okay, when we don't come to work somebody will look after us but when we're retired. Who will care for us? Will there be somebody who notices we don't leave our apartment anymore? Don't go shopping, get the garbage out."

"I hope there'll be somebody who cares. In the right amount"

"Not like your headmaster. She killed a pupil of her own school in order to make life easier for others."

"Scared many others have to die. Like she had experienced once."

"Can you understand her?"

"No. She had a choice, she could have stopped him, but she preferred to go a different way."

"You said you were a ghost in school. Were you unseen or were there any ghost busters?"

"I was unseen. How about you, science nerd?"

"Too busy hiding behind my books, getting through high school as fast as possible. Were you popular with the teachers?"

"Some. I guess some wanted me to be more like the other pupils, some were irritated by my interests in bugs and a few supported me. When I look back at this time I feel not very happy or sad. It was okay, a part of my life."

"I was glad when this part was over and I move on. College and university were more my cup of tea."

"It all got you here so it was good."

"Yes, if you see it this way." She smiled. High school, college and university got her where she was now. In Vegas. Working with him and a great team. And maybe she was also about to change her life, make her not sit home alone when she was old, become forgotten. But her little date wasn't his business.


	13. Scuby doobie doo

Scuby doobie doo (2.5.)

"How was your breakfast with Paul? John?" Sara asked when Grissom joined her.

"Good, we both got exactly what we wanted. Yours and Nick?"

"Also good. He told me about their case, a scuba diver in a tree."

"Did he tell you about his theory how it got there?"

"No."

Grissom smiled. "Did he tell you he still believes in Santa Claus?"

"No! How do you know these things? Tell me."

"Catherine told me. When they arrived at the scene Nick was sure, the diver had been in Lake Meat and ended up on tree because a helicopter, that transported water to the fire, picked him up and dropped him over the tree."

"Sounds reasonable at the first moment. But how big are the chances that the diver is close to the surface, doesn't hear the helicopter and it gets the diver into the water tank? It's like leaving your hotel in New York on a busy day and running into somebody you know when you're not from New York. Almost impossible."

"Almost, not completely."

"In this case it wasn't true. How did he really end up there?"

"He was killed somewhere else, taken to the spot in full gear to make it look like a diving accident, due to the heat of the fire the air tanks exploded and he ended up where Nick found him."

"Something the killer didn't think of and how Nick got him. We always find the one tiny thing they haven't thought of and get them. Or we find somebody who tells us there's something to find."

"Like a beetle." He smiled.

"For example."

"The beetles can tell us a lot, they always did."

"Just that our beetle didn't tell us a story about Lucy in the sky of diamonds but about a woman in a water tank." She had to add this famous songs of the Beatles to their conversation, after all, they talked about beetles.

"Who nagged her husband. Must have been a great marriage."

"Reminds of why I'm not married."

"I don't believe you're the kind of husband who will kill his wife when she nags him. Even not when your blood pressure is above ninety-five." She smiled. When she saw him pacing around outside she knew, she had to talk to him, calm him down. And the excuse with the chalk, that had never been on is cheek, was a good one. It felt good to stroke his cheek and for a second she was sure, he enjoyed her touch as much as she did.

"No. You wouldn't be a wife who lets her husband just kill her."

"If I nag my husband because he's a pain in the ass, I leave him. No need to stay with somebody who annoys you the whole time. It's easy to pack your things and go."

"Only a fool will let you go."

The look he gave her made a million butterflies fly around in her stomach. She hoped she didn't blush. First her hands on his cheek, being so close to him like they were...more than colleagues and now his words. Were they just flirting? Was he serious? Was this real? Or was she chasing a ghost?


	14. Slaves of Las Vegas

Slaves of Las Vegas (2.8)

"I heard you had an interesting case at an usual place." Sara sat down, her coffee in her hands.

"A playground?"

"The playground wasn't your primary crime scene, it was the place the body was dumped. I mean the sex club." Why did he play dumb?

"It's not a sex club, they don't have sex there. They fulfill sex fantasies without having sex. Everything else is against the law."

"Of course they don't break the law. How can I think of this?" Her voice was full of sarcasm. None of these clubs offered sex, it was all just a big foreplay. Did Grissom really believe this?

"Prejudice."

"And you don't have any prejudice about…this business?"

"I'm not sure. I don't think it's normal to have young women with scars because they let men do this to them for money. Receiving pain might be a turn on for some people and giving pain to other people is definitely something that turns a lot of people on."

"Like Rape. It's about having the power to give pain to somebody, make the decision if the other one dies or not, do whatever you please." And from what she heard, the place Grissom had been, was nothing else than a house full of paying rapists.

"Yes."

"So it's a kind of rape. A rape they get paid for which doesn't make it any better. I doubt these women enjoy what the men do to them."

"Do you think they enjoy it when they're the dominatrix? Give the pain."

"I don't know…I can't imagine enjoying whipping somebody, make somebody feel pain. It's not in my nature."

"As a CSI we need to be able to get into other people's shoes, imagine what they do, are capable of."

"Everything."

"That's my guess." He sipped his coffee. "Our killer was capable of killing a woman, he imagined is his wife but he wasn't capable of telling his real wife to leave him alone, don't treat him like garbage or end the relationship. Ask any of his neighbors, they'll all tell you, he's a nice guy, who can't hurt a fly. What we see of most people is like what we see of an iceberg."

"Ten percent are visible, ninety percent are hidden under the surface." She wondered how much of Grissom was hidden behind a invisible barrier.

"Exactly."

"Some people try to hide even more." Her eyes told him she was talking about him.

"There's only one way to discover how big an iceberg really is, you have to get into the water and dive. It will take a lot of time."

Was this his way of telling her she had to be patient? Had to give him more time, spend more time with him in order to find out more about him?

"The water around the iceberg is quite cold, it might kill you."

"There's a risk of losing your life, you need the right equipment for your dive. And the right time. Don't try it in winter, there might be more icebergs than the one you're interested in."

"Wait for summer, until the water is clear"

"Try it with ultrasound from a boat. Keep your distance, stay safe and get your answers anyway."

Meant what? If she took this little tale for them? She was supposed to back off and wait? Use something to get her answers? Don't get too close to him? Why was this man such a damn mystery?


	15. Ellie

Ellie (2.10)

"How was your trip?" Sara had almost given up on Grissom when he came into the diner. Over half an hour later than their usual meeting time.

"Great. Good to see you're still here."

"Your luck was I had breakfast and it took a little bit longer." Plus she didn't feel like going home, hoped the whole time he would come and they could talk a little bit.

"Our luck."

"Did your roaches win?"

"No. They're stage fright."

"Seriously?" She laughed. Since when could roaches be stage fright? This was new to her and she wasn't sure if Grissom didn't make it up to excuse his roaches.

"Yes."

"They all lost?"

"No. One came in fourth, one third, one second and well, one was dead last. But he tried and gave his best. How was your shift?"

"Interesting."

"I heard you worked with the Feds."

"Yeah, counterfeit. Did you know the FBI places counterfeit money and watches people what they with it?"

"Yes."

"Really? I didn't know it. That was my part of the case. I was watched by the FBI and when I called them, turned the counterfeit in and helped them get the bad guys, they told me I passed the test and should feel proud."

"Did you feel proud?"

"No."

"How did you feel about Warrick being acting supervisor?"

A sensitive topic and he knew she hadn't been happy about, still wasn't happy about it. "I wondered why you picked him. Why not Nick or me?"

"I had my reasons."

"Which you won't tell me." After all these months she could tell when he was playing his games with her. At the moment he was, he enjoyed watching her being confused and a little bit mad.

"No, maybe you figure them out yourself, makes much more fun."

"Okay." She shook her head in disapprove. There was no way to make him change his mind. "We met Brass's daughter. Did you know he had one?"

"If I'm right her name is Ellie."

"Yes."

"She lives on the east coast with her mother."

"Not anymore, she moved to Las Vegas but her friends are all dead or in jail, which might be better for her. Brass had to investigate a case and his own daughter was a murder suspect at one point. Do you think we should see him, have a look how he feels."

"No. He'll be fine."

"Do you guys talk? I mean, really talk. About stuff that matters. Personal stuff." She knew they were friends but what kind of friend left you alone in a situation like this?

"Occasionally."

Sara raised her eyebrows. A typical Grissom answer. And no matter how many more questions she asked, she'd get not more than tat.

"Are you off to any other places any time soon? Another race for your roaches?"

"No." He smiled. "If I were, would you like to be acting supervisor?"

"Would you make me acting supervisor?"

"Maybe." He lifted his hand to order another coffee. Wasn't he always good for a surprise?


	16. Organ grinder

16. Organ Grinder (2.11)

"No breakfast date with Greggo after you couldn't have dinner together?" Grissom teased when Sara sat down.

"No, I reserved the time only for you." She answered sweetly. There was no way she would let him tease her with Greg.

"That will break his heart."

"He'll survive."

"Like you survived that Nick knew you had no clue what murder central means."

Sara grinned. Maybe she was a little show-off. "He mentioned that to me. No hard feelings."

"Good. What do you say about the case? Do you feel better?"

"Yes." It was cute of him to get after her when she left the building frustrated because the two women, who obviously killed their husbands, got away with it. So much evidence and the D.A. didn't want to prosecute them. No reason for them not to move to another state and do the same again. Why stop something that brings you a lot of money and you don't get punished?

"Don't let them win. They won enough already."

"Indeed. But maybe they'll get what they deserve later. My supervisor reminded me there's no statue of limitation on murder. Means, the next time they do it, we'll cooperate with the police and CSI and they might catch them. At one point they'll run out of luck."

"Hopefully. Fact is, when they plan another murder they need time."

"You think they'll poison the husband again? After we were this close to catch them?"

"It's their pattern."

"It is and they're smart, they'll try something else. An accident for example. The breaks didn't work, a truck smashed into the car, a burglar who killed the husband. Another poisoned husband is too dangerous." Sara added some sugar to her coffee. "A few more years and they'll be out of money again. I don't understand how you can run through so much money in a short time." She didn't earn a fortune but she managed to keep her money together.

"How many hobbies do you have? Hobbies, you need a lot money for?"

"None." Her hobby was being a CSI and she got paid to do that. Lucky for her.

"See. If you get new hobbies, say expensive cars, expensive clothes, you'll need more money than for listening to the police scanner and read a few science book; although they can be expensive too."

"True." For a moment she felt like defending herself for not having any hobbies that weren't work related. Then she decided to continue like it was fine. "We should share some books, safe money."

"Are there any books you have on your list at the moment?"

"A couple. I sent you an email with the titles and which ones I bought recently."

"Do that. And I give you some lessons about phrases like 'murder central' so the next time you really know what I'm talking about and don't have to pretend."

"You like mentioning that, don't you?" Was he in a teasing mood? His voice didn't sound like was mad she lied or tried to look smarter in the unofficial competition between Nick, Warrick and her, who was next in line after Cath.

"Only because I think you're way too smart to pretend being smart. ." He smiled.


	17. Identity crisis

17. Identity crisis (2.13.)

For the first time Sara greeted Grissom with a touch and not words. Softly she let her hands ran down his arm after she stroke his shoulder for a second or two. Then, pausing on his hands for a few seconds, squeezing them, she sat down, having the old physical distance between them.

A hard case. A case that got Grissom into jail for an hour because he disobeyed a judge. A judge who was in reality a serial killer. The serial killer, who was in their life since she came to Vegas. Paul Millander. The man, who killed three at least other men, made it look like suicide. Men, who had their birthday on the same day Grissom had.

"Did it really never bother you?" Sara asked after they were quiet for a minute, only sipped on their coffee.

"What?"

"The birthday. His victims were all born on the same day you were born. Going back the time line from nineteen fifty-nine to eight and seven. Your birthday fifty-six. He played with you, he knew your birthday, you could have been his next victim."

"Then he had lost his antagonist. The game isn't fun when you play alone. No challenge."

"Your life isn't a game."

"Nobody's life is a game. Some people play anyway."

"You went to his home. To both homes. First to the family dinner, I thought that was strange but okay, there was his family, he wasn't likely to do anything. Then you made the decision you want to see his mother again after you realized what he had on his mind. Why Grissom? Why do you do this alone? Why not call for back-up?" Not too long ago they had a similar situation, when he went after the Strip strangler alone and got almost killed.

"I didn't want to lose any time."

"Catherine stood next to you, all you had to do was tell her, to join you."

"Are telling me off?" He asked, making it clear he wasn't happy about it and she should remember who was the supervisor.

"Yes." Sara pressed her lips together so they were thin. "Yes I do and I don't care that you're my boss. I care about you and when you put your life at risk, careless, I will tell you I'm not happy about this. You would do the same and I'm sure you do it not only because you're my supervisor."

"Everything was under control."

"Like it was with the Strip Strangler? Who almost killed you because you went after him alone?" Why didn't he see nothing was under control?

"Sara, I don't want to talk about it."

"Great." She leant back, annoyed, angry, scared. Why couldn't he see what she saw? Why did he risk his life? This wasn't about supervisor and team member, this was about…about them. Him. Their friendship. She cared about him.

"Listen." His voice was softer again when he realized, it wasn't about telling him off. "Paul Millander is dead. The case is closed and we don't have to worry about it anymore."

"It's not about the case, Grissom." Maybe she needed to be this straight forward.

"Then make it be about the case." Strictly case related. His condition to agree on their meeting. They had to be case related, the whole conversation. Sure, they often talked about other things, personal things that came with the case. Now he draw a line, made it obvious, he didn't want her to cross it. Stay focused on the case, leave out all the rest.

If it only were this easy for her…


	18. Burden of proof

18. Burden of proof (2.15)

From Grissom.

She wasn't sure if she should be mad or think this was cute. A living plant delivered to her, straight in the lab. Ordered by Grissom. What she supposed to do with this? How was she supposed to understand this man? First he ignores her, ignores all the personal need of people around him, has only cases and experiments in his head and suddenly he sends her flowers. No, not flowers, a living planet. And all the card attached says is 'From Grissom'.

From Grissom, I'm sorry I'm such an idiot sometimes?

From Grissom, please don't leave us, the lab needs you and I need you most.

From Grissom, lets give it – me- another chance.

From Grissom, I wish I knew another way to make you stay but I'm such an idiot for not noticing how much I need you and hope you give me another chance.

Yes, the last one had to be the rest of the message he forgot to wrote down. Let somebody write down.

From Grissom.

Why would she change her mind? For these two words. When she withdrew her request for a leave of absence wasn't she inconsequent then? Made it look like he could play with her and her feelings.

"Hey."

There he was, early like she was. Could she see some hope in his eyes when he saw her and the plant? Did it mean anything that she took the plant with her? Not until now.

"Hey." Hell, why make it easy for him when he never made it easy for her? Why forgive him after he sent nothing more than a plant with two words. The wrong words.

"I…I…do you like the plant?"

"Why did you send it?"

"Because…you were right and I…I should lift my head up the microscope every now and then. Become more...involved in the lives of people around me."

"Sounds like Catherine. Did she tell you to send me the living plant?"

"No…yes…no…kind of…she told me a few things and made me think…" He kneaded his hands, unsure which words were the right ones, what to say next. If the words he just said were the right ones or if he messed it up again.

"To which solution did you come?" She leant back, her eyes on him, not letting him off the hook. No, this time she'd made it as difficult as possible for him.

"Like I said, the lab needs you…and includes the team…and…myself. I asked you to come here for a reason."

"What reason?"

"Uhm…I…you are a great CSI and…I like working with you."

"Working with me? Or me working for you and having me not too much involved in your work?"

"I…it was wrong. When we work a case together I should share information with you. Tell you what I'm working on and let you clean up the experiment."

Now that sounded much better. Finally he got personal, finally he told her what he thought, what he felt. At least a little bit.

"Are you…will you stay? Please?" Like a little school boy. The head a little bit down, ready to take a punch, ready to hear the words he didn't want to hear.

"Yes." Hell, why did he always get her? Why couldn't she be hard on him? She managed to keep him in a nimbus for two minutes and got soft. But could she really move on and work somewhere else? Without him? Probably not. She was here because of him and she wanted to continue to work with him. Even when it was hard sometimes.


	19. Primum non nocere

19. Primum non nocere

Since I met you. These four words kept coming up her mind all the time. Since I met you. The simple answer of a simple question. All so innocent, talking about sport, Grissom calling baseball a beautiful game, she, Sara, teasing him, since when he was interested in beauty. And his answer, an answer that blew her mind off, made her almost drop off the bench she sat on in the ice hockey rink. Since I met you. He called her beautiful!

And moved on with the case a second later like nothing had happened, like he hadn't said a damn word. So Grissom. She felt like strangling him until he forgot the case and talked about her again. About what he said and felt about her. Since I met you.

"Look what I found." A magazine was placed in front of her. It was open and the page showed a young woman in her underwear.

"An advertisement." Why on earth did he show her a woman in underwear?

"No, a secret." Grissom sat down and grinned. "I guess her name is Victoria."

Sara laughed. Victoria Secret underwear. Now she got it.

"Why are you showing it to me? Do you want to buy this for me?" Why not try a little flirt? After all, he was the one who came up with a picture of a half naked woman. And those four magic words, she kept repeating in her head over and over again. Since I met you. And when she added her question to them, they became even more special. Since when are you interested in beauty - since I met you.

"No."

Did he just blushed? Sara bid on her lips, worked hard to stay serious. "But?"

"Just showing you I learnt. Victoria's secret is about underwear. And beauty."

Which made it perfect for her. He called her beautiful. Well, not with these words but almost with these words.

"Good to know you still learn from your cases."

"Every time I get a new case I learn."

"Do you still prefer baseball to hockey?" Was it possible to make him repeat what he said? tell her again, he was interested in beauty since he met her. Without the case breathing down their neck, with the possibility to talk about them.

"Absolutely. You?"

"Well…I leant hockey has its advantages."

"Like having sex with half of the team? You really want that?"

For a second she was tempted to say she didn't want to have sex with half of her team only… maybe one member. Not a good comment and it was time to get back to the case. Otherwise she might carry it over excess. "Didn't you say our meetings are strictly case related?"

"You try to prescind from yourself, like in the plane."

"I learnt from the best."

"What you didn't learn was how to swear an oath. The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."

Sara grinned. He paid attention to what she said, listened to him. It felt good and she enjoyed her own kind of oath. Actually she thought that was a good one. "Don't worry, I know what to say in court."

"Good. We might have to go to court soon, the good doctor will faces a judge and a jury. And what for? Killing the wrong guy."

"Falling in love with the wrong woman? Using his skills for the wrong side of the law? He swore an oath too, guess he forgot the words too – replaced them with something worse than 'tooth'."

"Murder." Grissom pushed his empty coffee cup aside. He knew why he liked baseball, it didn't kill you and you didn't lose your teeth like you do when you play hockey.


	20. Chasing the bus

20. Chasing the bus

The last case took them to a scene where the victims were still alive. Usually they came when only a body was left, all victims, who were still alive, weren't there anymore. This time the victims were still on the scene, got taken into ambulances and taken to hospital. So it wasn't only their crime scene, also the work place for the doctors.

"Care for a little bus trip?"

"No thanks. I'm done with bus trips for a while." Sara sat down with a coffee.

"Do you think your Greggo is done with field work?"

"My Greggo? Since when is he my Greggo?"

"Isn't he yours?" A little smirk appeared in the corner of Grissom's mouth.

"No. he isn't. And to answer your question, I think he isn't done with the field work. He liked being out there, working with us. Although he's afraid he messed it up and forgot to wear a jacket." Sara felt sorry for Greg, it had been cold in the night.

"He mentioned something like that to me."

"Do you think he messed things up?"

"No. He's not trained, he gave his best and did, what he could do. Ambitions can make up for the lack of knowledge to a degree. I haven't noticed any big mistakes. Besides the fact he wore not a thick jacket. But that's something that doesn't effect the evidence."

"Won't happen again." Sara smiled. She liked having Greg in the field and thought, it was good he experienced another side of the CSI work. Especially after he had dreamed of being out in the fields with them for a while. He was great in his DNA lab, they needed him there, but when he enjoyed the field work more, there was no reason to deny his wish to experience a new area of the job.

"Maybe he gives it another try, maybe he stays in his lab, listens to loud awful music and drives us nuts with his jokes."

"The carelessness of the youth, he'll grow up sooner or later. Until then I think he is a ray of light in the lab and his good mood makes me forget the bad things I see on a scene."

"I didn't say he isn't an important member of the team. How were you as a child?"

"When I was his age I worked already with the coroner in San Francisco and was about to become a CSI." Sara remembered the time like it was yesterday.

"You weren't a child then."

"When I was younger I studied a lot."

"No fun in your life?"

"There was some fun. How about you?" Time to turn the tables and get some information about him and his past.

"I'd like to believe there's still fun in my life." He smiled. "Our little meetings are fun. Riding roller coasters, watching my roaches racing other roaches. Life can be full of joy if you open your eyes to see it."

"Who said that?"

"I did."

"Okay, I try to remember your words." She grinned. If riding roller coasters and watching roaches racing other roaches was fun wasn't anything she could judge but their meeting here were definitely fun. They were the best parts of her day, of the cases.


	21. Cross-jurisdiction

21. Cross-jurisdiction

"How was the funeral of the chief?" Sara asked when Grissom arrived, still dressed in his black suit. Despite the fact she could see he didn't like it, he looked very good in it. Sexy.

"Boring. A lot of people who couldn't stand the chief, a lot of people the chief couldn't stand. Plus the media, politics and other people who wanted to feel important within the crowd. See and get seen."

"Where does that left you?"

"The guy who had to go there because his boss expects him to show up. The part of me that has to be more into politics." He sighed. This wasn't his cup of tea, the high end funeral, the suit. Nothing that made him feel comfortable. And yet, he had to go.

"You learn, the Sheriff will be pleased."

"And we're pleased when he's pleased."

"Of course. What will happen to the daughter?"

"Her grandmother will look after her. She won't be alone and can stay Las Vegas."

"That's good." Sara's eyes got sad for a moment. Sasha had lost her parents within forty-eight hours. It took only one weekend to destroy the entire life of a child.

"Shall I send you to Miami the next time?"

"Yeah, why not? Catherine liked it and she bought some nice clothes. Will you come too?"

"No, I'm fine here."

"They work cases in a different way than we do, I've been told."

"If it works for them."

"They closed the case – with our help. A little bit more…freshness would be good here too. Why can't we meet the Feds at a pool? I mean, if we have to meet them. Or have our break at the beach, watching surfer and boats. Or the sunrise." Not everything about Miami was bad.

"Because we work. You've got your vacations to see surfer, sunrises and boats. A CSI belongs on crime scenes, in the lab and not at the beach."

"When the beach is the crime scene you can connect it to your work; the surfer and boats." In her case it meant, when the crime scene was at Lake Meat, which was nothing compared to the beach in Miami.

"No."

Sara smiled. She never thought Grissom could enjoy the thought of another work style. He was old fashioned, preferred his dark office. Although a little sunshine would be good for him. She could picture him wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a hat and a pina colada in his hands. A relaxed Grissom on the beach, on vacation...she'd like to be with him.

"So next time I go and take Greg with me."

"Greg? Who wanted me to send him to Hawaii to compare sand?"

"There's plenty of sand in Miami and I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun."

"And who will work? You drool at surfer, he builds castles in the sand to impress women, who will laugh at him. Great. I think it's best when we all stay here in Vegas. This is where we belong. You can go with Greg when he sees his parents in San Diego, plenty of beaches there and some history too."

"Not the same. We don't get paid to go to San Diego." She grinned.

"I think it was a good decision to send Catherine and Warrick. Their attention was only on the case." At least he like to believe this.

"You think." Sara smirked. Did he forget her mention all the clothes Catherine bought in Miami? Their colleagues did a little bit more than working on the east coast. Which was absolutely understandable. You need to have quitting time at one point and enjoy your life.


	22. The hunger artist

22. The hunger artist (2.23)

"Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride." A typical Grissom greeting. A little puzzle for her mind, to make her understand what he was thinking of at the moment. Only words, no further description.

"The seven deadly sins." Sara answered. That was an easy one.

"Yes. Pride can kill."

"As the last case taught us. It even makes you commit suicide. Ashleigh James killed herself. First a little bit day by day and then she finished herself off."

"All for the price of glory. Being beautiful is hard work, it's impossible to satisfy everybody. What one person finds beautiful the next one dislikes. Only a few things are the same, you need to be skinny, the skinnier the better. I wonder when people realize it's not natural to be this skinny and let models look like the average person on the road. They're human and not dolls. And always smile, again like a doll, to sell the product."

"Smile now your heart is aching."

Grissom smiled. This could have been his comment, quoting the old Charlie Chaplin song 'Smile'. "You know the words weren't from Charlie Chaplin."

"He wrote the music in 1936 for his movie 'Modern times' while Turner and Parsons added the lyrics in 1954. I did my homework."

"Sounds like. Are old movies your new hobby?"

"No. I just know a few things."

"A lot of things." The smile he sent her made her feel warm. He wasn't supposed to do that.

"You talked to the sister of the victim. She could get her hands on a lot of money."

"I offered her to help her into a shelter, she wants to stay outside, be free. Says, she's looking for the one thing that's missing."

"What's that?"

"She'll know when she sees it."

"Okay." Sara thought about it for a few seconds. With a lot of money she could get a lot of things but if the one thing that was missing was for sale? Maybe yes, maybe not. It was hard to say when you had no idea what you were looking for. "Do you have everything you want? Is something missing in your life?" Was she missing in his life? Like he was missing in her life. No matter how hard she tried to tell herself he wasn't. That he was her boss and nothing more. It was kind of hard to lie to yourself, pretend something that wasn't real.

"People don't know when they've got everything they want because as soon as they have it, they crave for something new. It's like it's impossible for us to be happy, satisfied with what we have. It's in our nature. Want more, get more."

"Hunt, feast and continue the hunting? Don't sit down, you need to be on the run all the time?" Sounded a lot like they still lived in caves. Although, some people acted like they still did.

"Our ancestors needed to be on the run all the time. There were no supermarkets they could go to in winter. If they didn't continue to run, to collect new things as soon as they had what they wanted, they died. It's an old habit and old habits die hard."

"Maybe…but you didn't answer my answer."

"I did."

"No, I asked if YOU have everything. You, not if the human being will ever be satisfied with what they have. There's a difference. I asked what is missing in your life, if there's something missing." This time she wanted an answer and not a summery of human nature.

"No, nothing is missing. I've got everything I want and need." He smiled softly at her.


	23. Let the seller beware

23. Let the seller beware (3.3)

"I'm sorry I called you on your day off."

Surprised Sara turned. She didn't expect Grissom to come along after they said 'good night' in the lab. After all the time she worked in Las Vegas, it felt a little bit strange to say good night to somebody when it wasn't evening.

"It's okay. Uhm...I'm sorry I couldn't be back sooner."

"No, you were right. I told you, you need something beside work and on your day off, you're supposed not to think of work. You did everything right. How was the vineyard?"

"Are you asking if I had wine and were under the influence of alcohol at the scene?"

"No! No, I didn't…"

"It's okay. I tried one wine, but it wasn't much and a few hours ago. I could work, I was allowed to drive, no reason to worry. How was your case? I heard you abused Greg. Or his feet and now he's not happy with you and will turn the music even louder."

"I made an experiment and he helped me out. He wasn't forced to help. Not exactly."

"You're his boss, he had no choice. Did you tell him what his part in the experiment was?"

"No."

"Maybe that's the reason why he was slightly mad. He has a rush because of you and can't walk without pain. I'd be mad too."

"It will be gone soon I gave him some lotion for the itch and the pain."

Sara rolled her eyes. That wasn't the point. He should know it. "Grissom, when you or your experiment harm a person, you should warn this person. Otherwise he might get cranky when he's in pain."

"Do you want me to apologize to him?" He took off his glasses.

"Might be a nice start."

"Are you looking our for him, your Greggo?"

"No. I look out for you." She shot back dryly. "I don't want people to think you don't care about your team member, use them for your experience and don't apologize when they're in pain because they helped you out and solved a case."

"Thanks. How was your case? Flying solo for the first time."

"It was…a new experience. Why did you choose me? Not Nick or Warrick?" Nick was a level three CSI and Warrick had been acting supervisor once. She expected them to have a case on their own first. When he sent her away, she was irritated and felt honored at the same time.

"You are ready to have your own cases. I don't have to worry you oversee something."

"Thanks for the trust."

"You're welcome. I didn't regret it, you solved the case. Mind to tell me what was the hardest part of it?"

"Realizing the stomach content is raw human skin." It made her feel sick and she was close to throw up right next to the evidence. Raw meat was bad, raw human meat was almost unbearable.

"Oh." Not what he expected.

"Not a nice moment. I shared it with Greg, which helped a bit."

"You share a lot with Greg."

Did she hear jealousy? "We're friends." For a moment she thought, when she arrived at his crime scene, he was jealous because she had been away on her day off. Could it be real? Or was she making things up because she liked the idea of him being jealous? Hard to tell where reality stopped and fantasy started.


	24. A little murder

24. A little murder (3.4)

"What did you learn from this case?" Sara asked when she sat down.

"Parents still believe they know what's best for their children even when the child is a grown-up woman and can make her own decisions. And no matter how old you are or your child is, as a parents you have to protect your child."

"He protected his daughter from herself."

"Herself, her fiancé, his life. The idea was, when Lawrence was gone, Jessica was supposed to move on, find a tall man. I wonder if Marcus had killed his future son-in-law too when his daughter had told him, she was pregnant."

"We'll never find out." Grissom took off his glasses. The case of the murdered dwarf had been very interesting and showed him that people were far away from being tolerant. "I thought about the theory of Da Vinci and the Mona Lisa."

"Deep down we're all narcissistic?"

"Chasing the one who is just like us."

"You don't believe this theory?"

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure…I mean, when I see all these old men with their young girlfriends, who could be not only their daughters but granddaughters. How can the theory work out in these cases? I can see the narcissistic side of it, presenting the world what an amazing man he is, still capable of having the most beautiful women but he doesn't fit in the perfect cover picture."

"Maybe forty years ago he had been the perfect match to the woman. Or by having such a woman by his side he shows power. Only the alpha male gets the most beautiful female. His proof of being the alpha male. You know we men are simple."

Sara grinned. "Not all, some a quite a challenge. But power and ego are good reasons to kill."

"And protecting your own child. The rule of nature is, the child has to outlive the parents. All mammals will protect their offspring, get between the perpetrator and their own in order to keep their own alive. It's like keeping themselves alive. Your blood, your DNA, runs in your child, it will give a part of you to a new generation."

"Makes you live forever."

"Yes."

"So how does your Mona Lisa look?" She smirked. This question had been on her tongue since he made the comment about Da Vinci. If he could paint his perfect woman, what would she look like?

"Smart."

"Smart? Like smart dressed?" That wasn't an answer and he knew it.

"No, like intelligent. I had to paint a pictures that shows the interested person in a museum or somehow else to show the world how smart the woman is."

"I thought more of physical things, small, tall, blue eyes. Not doctor title and diplomas." She wanted to know if she looked at least a little bit like the woman he dreamed of. And she was pretty sure he knew where she was going and that was the reason why he refused to answer her question straight away. As he always did when it became personal.

"I don't believe you need a title to be smart. What about you? How would you paint your Da Vinci?"

"Oh, I don't have to paint him, I could take a photo of him." She smirked and got up. This time she would leave him behind, without a further explanation, thinking about what she just said and what it could mean.


	25. Blood lust

25. Blood lust (3.9)

A sheet of paper was placed in front of Sara. Surprised she looked at it.

"A form to re-enter the forensic anthropology seminar?"

"You missed it because of me and it's required, right? I don't want to interrupt your education program." Grissom sat down, gave her this typical Grissom look.

"Thanks." Wow, she never thought he remembered the seminar and let her go there again.

"You're welcome. It seems to be a habit the last time that I call you when you're not available. Have your days off."

"Yeah, somehow." I need you. Those were his words. And they made her…feel warm. They came a long way from 'the lab needs you' to 'I need you'. No need for her to leave Las Vegas and check out the FBI anymore. Not that she really wanted it at any point.

"And you use me as your information source."

"Sometimes." He smiled. "Why read a magazine when I can listen to you?"

"You want to quote me when you get asked in court for your source?"

"Yes. You're a very reliable source. Why would anybody doubt you?"

"Thank you." Gosh, he made her compliments. What happened? Not that she minded, she could get used to it. A lot of compliments, them working the case together, spending a lot of time together. Made the reason why he called her in not better but made her see the bride side of the case.

"What do you think will happen to Eric?" She asked.

"I don't know, that depends on the D.A. and the jury. If he's lucky he'll get out of jail and gets a second chance."

"His brother and the boyfriend of his mother died. All because he thought they had to move again because of the boyfriend. His mother should have told him about his father, at least a little bit so he understood why they did it."

"Are you blaming the mother? For not telling her children about their father?"

"If she had told them, they knew why they moved all the time. Why do parents lie to their children? At a certain age they should hear the truth. At least enough to understand the action that is taken around them."

"I guess it's not easy to be a single mother." Grissom sipped on his coffee.

"Yeah." Sara sighed. "A you're getting a reputation."

"Me? A reputation? For what?"

"For experiments that hurt people. First Greg's feet and now Warrick's shoulder." She smiled. Pulling Warrick through a room had been strange and when Judy, the receptionist, did the same, it looked funny. But poor Warrick was in pain after the experiment.

"It helps. We found out important details about the killer. And why are you so sensitive about your weight? What is it with women and their weight? Even when they're obviously not over-weight? You're beautiful, perfect, could be a model."

Now her jaw dropped down for a second. A model? She was beautiful and perfect? More compliments. Wow. What happened to Grissom?

"Sara?"

"I...uhm…it's nobody's business. And we get told the whole time we've to weight as less as possible. Advertisement, magazines, TV."

"A smart woman like you shouldn't listen to them. You've got other sources than a gossip magazine. And really good eyes to see the truth or shall I buy you a mirror?"

"No, I've got you." She smiled. Now she turned tables. Why should she read a magazine when she had him, who told her she looked like a model? He was the best source. And it was much nicer to hear all these compliments from him than reading in a magazine she was beautiful.


	26. One hit wonder

26. One hit wonder (3.14)

Don't take a case personal. Stay professional. How often had she heard these words? How often did she remind herself of these words? Sara stopped counting. The problem was, no matter how often she repeated these words to herself, no matter how hard she tried to live after them, it wasn't possible all the time. Sometimes you got personal involved. Cases could build up from relationships you had and it was impossible to know from the beginning where the relationships was heading into. How could she have imagined that the prosecutor, she was friendly with, was a killer. A wife, who killed her own abusive husband and tried to cover it up as a robbery or b&e gone bad.

"Sara." Grissom's voice was soft when he approached the table she sat. Her coffee was cold, it stood in front of her for…for a while. She never touched it, wasn't thirsty.

"Hey." For the first time she started to see her surroundings.

"Since when do you sit here?" He saw how absent-minded she was, that she didn't feel good.

"I don't know, an hour? Or so. Since I left the lab, I went here straight away."

"You left the lab two hours ago."

"Then it's been two hours. Why?" Did it make any difference?

"Your coffee is cold."

"Doesn't matter." Who cared about coffee? She could order a new one.

"Sara…"

"Don't tell me I'm not supposed to take my cases too personal. I picked this case up as finding out what happened to a friend, who injured her, destroyed her life. This case was supposed to help her, bring justice to her. All I did was getting her into jail because she wasn't the victim, she was the killer. This wasn't the answer I wanted."

"You got all the answers." He put his hand on hers for a second.

"Not the answers I wanted." She sighed. "I got the wrong answers."

"You got the truth, the truth is always right even when it feels wrong."

"I'm not sure if I it hadn't been better to live with the lie." At the moment it felt like the lie she lived with was more comfortable. Parts of her wanted to live in this lie again.

"For yourself? Probably. For the system? No. You did what you're supposed to do, you found out what happened and now justice will be served."

When he said these words it sounded so easy. Why was it so difficult for her? Why wasn't she more like Grissom? "How could I be so wrong? About Melissa?"

"You had no reason to distrust her. There was an investigation, they had a suspect, a story that seemed to be true. We can't mistrust everybody, every story we hear. You knew her."

"I thought you never believe you know somebody."

"Not entirely." He put his hand on hers again. "But there are people I know I can trust. I trust you, Sara. Even when I don't know all of you."

She smiled a little bit. "Thanks. But I told you what happened to my brother, he trusted me too and I got him into trouble."

"Actually, he got himself into trouble. He was the one who took the dope home, he used it. Not you. You had no idea what it was."

"My good intentions. You know that the opposite of good isn't bad, it's good intention."

He smiled a little bit. "Is this a Sidle quote?"

"Life. Life taught me this a couple of times."

He pushed his cup of hot coffee over for her and signaled the waitress they wanted another cup of coffee. It wouldn't make Sara feel better, wouldn't take her mind of the case and her feelings but it might gave her some routine, some comfort.


	27. Lady Heathers box

27. Lady Heathers box (3.15)

"Thanks for working on Eddie's case." Grissom said when he sat down.

"You're welcome."

"It was a tough one?"

"No, not the case. The fact I was investigating the murder of the ex-husband of my colleague made it tough. It was…it was a tough case." And made her doubt if her and Catherine's relationship could survive the investigation at one point. Of course she understood Cath, understood that she wanted to be there, wanted to be up to date. Her daughter almost died, her ex-husband died. Divorced or not, there were still feelings. And no matter how tough Cath played to be, Sara knew, she suffered. Eddie's death didn't let her stay cold. It mattered. More than an ordinary case.

"She'll be fine."

"Grissom, she lost her ex-husband, she won't be fine. Not within the next weeks." Sometimes she wondered how he could be so ignorant. If he had no understanding of feelings.

"They were divorced."

"You can't cancel your feelings with a divorce. I saw her, I talked to her. She's not fine. And the fact that she almost lost Lindsay makes everything worse."

"What did she tell you?"

"Me? Nothing. You should go and talk to her. You know her longer than I do."

He thought about it. "Yes, maybe I should."

"Not maybe." She shook her head. Was he really this blind? Did he really not see what was going on with Catherine? "You're her friend. Be there for her, talk to her, listen to her."

"Do you remember Lady Heather?" He changed the topic out of the blue.

"I didn't work that case."

"Right…her name and place came up in my investigation."

"And?" She wasn't surprised. From what she heard Lady Heather and her establishment weren't exactly...it didn't surprise her to hear her name again.

"And this time she was a suspect. I called the judge to get a warrant."

"That's your job." What was his point? He asked for a lot of warrants each week.

"I was wrong."

The way he said he was wrong made her look at him closer. He said it like he was sorry, like he did something wrong. Like it personal mattered to him that he was wrong.

"Did you have evidence? A reason why you asked for the warrant?"

"Of course."

"Then you weren't wrong. You followed the evidence. It makes a loop sometimes, changes the direction but you did your job." That was what he told her all the time. Go with the evidence. People lie, the evidence always tells the truth.

"I should have known she had nothing to do with the case."

"How? How could possible have known this?"

"I know her."

"Last week you told me you don't know a person entirely." The way he talked about this woman made her feel...angry. Why was she this important to him?

"My guts told me the whole time she's not our killer."

"And your guts were right but the evidence said different at one point."

"I should have listen to my guts."

She looked blank at him. What was wrong with Grissom? Why did he feel sorry for doing his job? It hadn't happened for the first and it wouldn't be the last time. This was his work and in his work the evidence could make you call in the wrong suspect. So what? What was it about this Lady Heather, that made him regret doing his job?


	28. Crash'n burn

28. Crash & burn (3.16)

No Grissom today. Sara sent him a text message she was sorry but couldn't make it today. For a second she looked at her beer, the third one, before she lifted the glass and drank half of the beer at once. She downed the first two glasses and it took all her will-power not to do the same with the third. And did it help her? No!

"On the idiot scale from one to ten where is he?" Catherine asked. She had seen Hank, she knew something was wrong, had known it from the moment Sara came back from Elaine Alcott. In her marriage Eddie cheated on her more than once, she knew the look of a woman, who realized, her partner cheated. She looked like this a couple of times.

"Fourteen." To hell, she downed the third glass and rose her hand to order a fourth one. "Or maybe fifteen."

"So this Elaine wasn't a friend."

"No, his girlfriend. They've been to Hawaii and will get on another vacation soon. It's serious and she's very much in love with her perfect boyfriend."

"At the moment she is, until she realizes the truth. What was his explanation?"

"He's sorry." Sara took the new glass of beer, lifted it only to put it down again. "He's sorry." Sorry. Yeah, she was sorry too. Sorry to waste her time on him. Sorry to allow herself to feel something for him, to…a kind of fall for him. To make this mistake.

"That's all he said?"

"Yes." He said more than enough and there were no words in the world she wanted to hear.

"What did you say?"

"I didn't tell her about us and I'll see him around." Which made her feel sick. She didn't want to see him around. Didn't want to see him again at all. She felt a strong urge to punch the crap out of him, stick needles into his body and make him live in agony.

"This guy deserves a good punch." Cath read her thoughts.

"Yeah. Or a dozen."

"Maybe you should tell his girlfriend. Men like him get away with everything…"

"I…I don't feel like telling her." Of course Cath was right. He deserved trouble, deserved to be left by his girlfriend. And yet, she didn't have the strength to see Elaine and tell her.

"Your call."

"Beer." Sara downed her beer and ordered a new one while Cath still had her first beer untouched in front of her. Slowly she felt her first beers, felt the alcohol.

"Do the guys know?"

"No." She didn't want her private life out in the lab. If Cath hadn't been with her, hadn't seen the obvious thing, Sara had never told her. Talking about feelings, about her private life, wasn't her cup of tea.

"Then we should keep it this way." Cath smiled and put her hand on Sara's arm. "Not their business anyway."

"Thanks Cath."

"You're welcome."

"Cath?"

"Yeah?"

"I feel like getting drunk today." And she felt a little bit guilty about it because she knew, it wouldn't change a damn think, only make her feel sick tomorrow.

"You do that and I get you home safe."

"You might have to listen to my whine."

"That's all right. I order some cheese and cracker with it, carry you home and if you feel like throwing a rotten egg on his front door, I'll be your getaway driver."

"Thanks." Sara managed to get half a smile. As much as she liked her meeting with Grissom, today she needed a girl's night.


	29. Playing with fire

29. Playing with fire (3.22.)

Let's have dinner, let's see what happens.

By the time you figure it out, you really will be too late.

Sara's words stuck into his head, his ears. Sitting in the waiting area of his ear specialist he wished for a second he couldn't hear. Couldn't hear Sara's words anymore. Repeating themselves all the time, her voice, clear, sad, hope fading away with every word she said, every word he answered.

Let's have dinner, let's see what happens.

By the time you figure it out, you really will be too late.

He knew about the possibility that it was too late when he made a decision. Or did he already made a decision? He said no. Quickly. Too quickly. Perhaps. Was it a defense reaction? Or was it what he really thought?

I don't know what to do about this.

Did he really not? Or was he just cowardly? Scared of what might happen? Of all the chances that may happen to him. No, they would happen. So was he scared? Or not ready yet? Scared and not ready? The only thing he knew was, he was confused and had made a mistake.

By the time you figure it out, you really will be too late.

Probably she was scared and this thought scared him. He didn't want it to be too late. He hated the thought of being late, no matter if they were too late with evidence or when he was too late with…private things. Double checking prevented you from making mistakes it could be also a reason why you're late; miss something out. Something important. Somebody, who is important to you. What did that tell him about himself?

By the time you figure it out, you really will be too late.

* * *

No.

Sara…I don't know what to do about this.

It was obvious he had no idea what to do about 'this'. Why did he call them 'this'? If he had to say no, why couldn't he say, he had no idea what to do about them? They weren't a thing, they were…them. And there was something between them, she knew and he…he just admitted he felt it too. But apparently he was too afraid to admit to it. Or not ready yet?

I don't know what to do about this.

He felt what she felt and was scared about it. Unfortunately she couldn't be really mad about him for it. She was scared about them too. Scared they both might miss out a chance. Some chances came just once in your life and she had the feeling that after her…wasted time with Hank…they might gotten a second chance. Why not take? Give it a try, see what will happen if they have dinner. Together. Alone. A dinner together wasn't a one night stand. It was dinner. Food, conversation. Not too different to the breakfasts/coffees they usually had after a case. He hadn't been comfortable with them at the beginning, now he seemed to enjoy them.

I don't know what to do about this.

His words hurt, his behavior hurt even more. He pushed her away. Why? Was it because he was her boss? Or was there somebody else? No, there was nobody in Grissom's life. Was there? He never mentioned anybody, then again, he never mentioned anything about his private life. About his relationship. Not to her and for what it was worth, she doubted he told anybody. At least their colleagues never mentioned somebody special in Grissom's life and gossip was always appreciated in the lab. She had heard by now if there was somebody.

Now what? She worked herself through to ask him out, made it easier for him and all she got at the end was nothing. Not even a coffee together. All she had was a beer in a crowded bar somewhere on the Strip. Surrounded by people and still alone.

And still, she wasn't ready to move on.


	30. Homebodies

30. Homebodies (4.3.)

The look of Sara in her car, the tears running down her face, was burnt in Grissom's mind. He only saw her for a second before he had to concentrate on the body at the scene. The body of Suzanna Kirkwood. The girl, who was gang raped and confided in Sara. Another victim the brunette came close to. Too close to.

Now, in the diner, her head down, ignoring her coffee, she reminded him of this moment. Vulnerable, the case on her mind, suffering because she couldn't help the victim and now it was too late. His tough CSI was in reality sensitive and very fragile.

"Don't tell me I shouldn't empathize with the victim." She greeted him, her head still down.

"Do you want to be alone?" He hoped she denied this question.

"No."

He sat down, his hands moving into her direction for a second before he pulled them back.

"Did you find anything? Any evidence, we can use to close the case?"

"We're still processing the evidence."

"Everybody knows who killed her. We knew the perpetrator before, we should have stopped him. It was up to us, Suzanna trusted us, we let her down."

"Sara…"

"Don't lecture me, Grissom." She interrupted him.

"I don't."

For the first time she looked at him, her eyes were red. "Sometimes I wonder how long I can do this. How long can I stand seeing death and violence every day. What about you?"

"Whenever it gets hard I remind myself that the death have only us. If we don't stand up and speak for them, they'll never receive justice. It can be hard on me but at least I'm alive, can do and change something. They aren't, they can't help themselves."

"We tried to stand up and talk for the victim, for the one who was killed and the one, who was alive. Nothing happened. Nobody listened. We failed." To Sara it felt like she failed personally. There had to be something she could have done.

"We didn't fail, we didn't have more. The system requires a special amount of evidence to convict somebody. It's a safety system, to make sure innocent people won't get convicted for something they didn't do. We rather let one bad guy go than have three innocent men in custody. Even when it's hard sometimes."

"I know, I know…but the problem is, the bad guy kills the innocent people."

"That's why we have to continue our work."

"When we have the power to do so." Sara closed her eyes. She was tired. Physically and mentally. And for the first time she doubted she did the right thing. Maybe, she wasn't a CSI at all. Maybe, there was something else out waiting for her.

"Would you like to have a few days off? To get your mind away from work, from death. Maybe a trip to the ocean can help you to get more power, to get your power back."

"No." She didn't want to have the whole day for thinking about the case, about how many dead bodies she saw every day, how many killer she had looked into the eyes in the last years.

"Okay. If you change your mind, let me know."

"Thanks." Sara embraced herself with her arms. No, she didn't want a few days off, what she needed was somebody, who understood her, who was there for her. Somebody, who pulled her in his arms and was there for her. She wanted Grissom to be the one and knew, her wish would never come true. He didn't even hold her hand to comfort her.


	31. Fur and loading

31. Fur and loading (4.5.)

"How was your furry case?" Sara smirked. Grissom's case sounded too funny.

"Fluffy. How was your cool case?" He shot back dryly.

"Iced."

"I…got you an iced coffee." He put a glass in front of her.

Sara laughed. That was the reason why he offered to order for both of them. "What did you get for yourself?" She hoped it wasn't anything furry.

"A barking spider."

"Beg your pardon?" Sara tried to get a closer look at his drink. There was a spider inside? Impossible for mot people, when it came to Grissom, it wouldn't surprise her that much.

"A barking spider. One and a half ounce of Tarantual Azul Tequila, one and half ounce Blue Curacao, three quarter ounce of Bacardi, one dash of triple sec, one dash of sweet and sour mix and one splash of orange juice."

"Alcohol? At this time?" It was seven in the morning. They never had alcohol for breakfast.

"It's after work for us, isn't it?"

"True." She smiled. But still, it was strange to see him with alcohol. She picked him more as a glass of wine man at home. "Tell me about your case. About the big bad wolf."

"The big bad wolf didn't kill anybody, he made the raccoon sick. Unfortunately the raccoon's girlfriend wasn't in a mood to feel sorry for him, kicked him out of the car in the middle of nowhere, where he was shot by a ranger, who mistook him for a coyote. To end this story he became a hood ornament and died on the road like so many other raccoons."

"Will the D.A. press charges?" With a spoon she ate some of the vanilla ice cream inside her coffee. The first time she had an iced coffee with real ice cream inside.

"Against whom? The ranger, who saw a coyote? It was in the middle of the night, in the desert, no lights. Nobody expects a human in a fur costume out there, kneeing on the side of a road because he's sick."

"The girlfriend?"

"No. She turned to help him, he was kneeing on the road, she had no chances to stop. There was a lot of bad luck for the witness in this case. Wanna try the spider?"

Sara eyed him suspicious before she sipped on his cocktail. Was there really no spider inside? "Not my cup of tea. I guess I'm more a beer person."

"What about iced coffee? Do you like it? With the real ice cream inside."

"Wanna try?" Sharing drinks was kind of cute, like they were on a date.

"No, I stick to my spider. Your case?"

"A man gets shot in a cool room, a second man becomes a hostages, can free himself, comes to PD and offers a story, that's hard to believe." Not as unusual as his case, but there weren't many cases that could hold a candle to Grissom's case.

"You verified the story?"

"We did. His cousin killed the other man and smacked his head pretty good. Our guy, a little bit too trustful and way too…naïve, was surprised to find out his cousin is a killer. He asked Nick and me why people disappoint each other sometimes, in a way a kindergarten kid asks."

"What did you tell him?"

"We had no explanation. Do you have one?"

"People disappoint you when your expectation of them is too high. You expect less, people won't let you down this often."

"Interesting theory." Was it the same with them? Could he only disappoint her when she expected too much from him? Should she have less expectation?

"It is, isn't it?" He finished his cocktail. "Want another iced coffee? I buy."

"Sure." More ice cream meant no need for breakfast. And a second iced coffee gave her more time with him.


	32. Invisible evidence

32. Invisible evidence (4.7)

"I heard you closed your homicide case."

"Yeah." Sara smiled.

"I didn't pull you off the case to annoy you, Sara. We had twenty-four hours for the other case, I needed everybody on the case. To let you work the homicide case would have meant to work under the pressure of time without your help and I couldn't afford to do it without you."

His words were nice, but late. She wasn't mad anymore. Which didn't change her point of view that some cases got more attention because more important people were involved. When you had power and/or money, your case moved up while other cases had to wait. To her all victims, all cases, no matter how much money and power were involved, were important.

"It's okay." She wondered if she should say something about her application for the key position. No, better not. It never worked out when they became too private. A case related meeting, not a social meeting. "You'll have dinner with the Sheriff?"

"Yeah. Am I not lucky?"

"Absolutely." It still hurt that he denied her wish for a dinner together. All right, the dinner with the Sheriff was strictly work related, their dinner would have been…more personal and private. Very private, she told him, she wanted to know what happens with them.

"You did a good job with the sheet."

Sara bid her lip. The sheet. She had various hot flashes when he pinned her down. So close. He had hold her wrists, their heads had been close, it was almost like…like they were about to kiss any second. Not the best scenery, getting kissed in front of a bloody sheet, that was evidence of a murder case, but…the where didn't matter as much as the who. Who kissed you and there he was exactly who she wanted. Which was why he denied her dinner wish.

And then she had to start about the key position. And about the things that happened between them. Or didn't happen. His face, he had been so clueless, like he couldn't imagine what she possible was talking about. Like she made everything up and there had never been anything between them. Well, there had never been something between them, nothing you could give a name, only these tensions...she was sure not only she felt.

"Thanks." It was better not to mention any of her thoughts. Keep it short, try not to over-talk again. Parts of her were scared he might cancel this coffee meetings too. When he had the feeling they became too personal, too much about them and not about work.

"Tell me, do you prefer to work alone or in a big team?"

"What?" Irritated she looked at him. What did this question mean?

"A homicide you work on your own or one, you work with the whole team. What do you prefer?"

"Both. When I work alone I can work in my own speed. When I work with the team, I've people with me who support me, I can exchange information, it can make things easier."

"But you're not the boss."

"I'm never the boss, you're the boss." And that was why he could tell her to work any case he wanted and she had to do it. Like Nick said, you do what your supervisor wants you to do because without a job you don't have a career. In order to get up the food chain she had to do what Grissom said. No matter if she liked it at that moment or not.


	33. Butterflied

33. Butterflied (4.12)

It's sad, isn't it Doc? Guys like us. A couple of middle aged men who have allowed their work to consume their lives. The only time we every touch other people is when we wear our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. Then out of the sudden we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up, somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her, but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it. But you did. You risked it all. And she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? But then she took it away and gave it to somebody else, and you were lost. So you took her life. You killed them both and now you have nothing.

Sara remembered every word Grissom said when he talked to the doctor, not knowing that she was behind the one way mirror, listening to his words. To doctor Lurie it sounded like he talked only about him and Debbie. To Sara it sounded like Grissom talked about them. Him never being able to give up what he worked for in order to have a life with her. It was true, if he gave in, they became a couple, their work life had to change. He couldn't be her supervisor anymore, one of them had to change shifts. A big decision.

He couldn't do it.

Could she? Leave the shift, work with a new team in order to be with him? Her heart yelled YES to this question, told she'd do anything to be with him. But from somewhere deep inside came the quiet voice of her brain. Giving up a lot in order to risk something she had no idea if it ever worked out? Give up the friends she made? Start all over again? With stupid comments all the time, from all sides. The CSI and her supervisor. Whenever she and Grissom would meet, people start talking. They could never ever discuss a case without causing curios looks.

But…wasn't life more than work? Of course work took a big part of her life, more than many people she spent time at work. Eventually her work life was over and then? What would happen after she wasn't a CSI anymore? Who was there? Her apartment would be empty with only her inside, nowhere to go, nothing to kill time. Solo. Lonely.

Slowly she finished her coffee and looked up. There he was. A little bit late, tired, overworked and still, he was here. Kept his word.

His sad eyes met hers when he sat down and immediately he knew, she had heard his words. He was aware of the risk, talking about something personal at work, that she might be behind the mirror and listened. He said those words anyway.

"Were you about to leave?" He pointed towards her empty coffee mug. The best opportunity for her to say, she was about to order another one. A chance, she usually would take.

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm tired and you look like you can use some sleep as well and not a coffee."

"I do. Or a lot of more coffee, which wouldn't be good."

"Why don't you finish your coffee and I wait for you." And have a few more moments with you, maybe you feel like telling me about your thoughts, even when I really doubt that.

"I'm not sure if I'm good and interesting company today."

"What's wrong with just sitting here, being quiet together?" And think about what happened, what was said and how it impacted their lives.

"Nothing."

"See." She smiled a little bit. Sometimes you didn't need words because all words had been said.


	34. Getting off

34. Getting off (4.16)

"Nice to see you." Grissom sat down.

"Told you, you see me every day." Sara smiled. When he said, he hadn't seen her in a while she was confused and then started thinking about, in which way he meant it. After an hour or so she gave up. It was impossible to figure out Grissom, why bother? Maybe he'd explain to her what he meant, maybe he won't.

"I didn't mean it that way."

Would she get her explanation now?

"How was your clown case?"

No, no explanation. Of course not. Totally Grissom. "The clown agent thought Catherine and me are strippers and sent us away when we came to his office."

"Seriously?"

"No kidding." And why was he surprised? Wasn't she sexy enough to be a stripper?

"Okay. But he wasn't the killer?"

"No, the killer was the husband of the woman, who ordered Doodles, that was the clown's name, to a birthday party. When the husband took the children out for ice cream she took the clown into her bed. The husband came home, caught them in the act and suffocated the clown. Instead of stopping her husband or calling the police the wife was turned on. They got rid off the body, kept the clown outfit so he could wear it and have a very fulfilled sex life since that day. Sometimes there are details I don't want to hear, don't want to know."

"It was a crime of passion...or turned into one."

"Kind of. How was your case? The woman I process for you looked like she was in a bad physical and mental state."

"She was and it's even worse now. Her drug dealer killed the man, who provided her with a different kind of drug. A better one, if you can say that about drugs."

"One in the morgue, on in jail, to whom will she turn to now? Except for drugs her life makes no sense anymore."

"I hope she'll go back to the halfway house."

"Won't stop her from taking drugs." Sometimes these places were the first stop for dealer to sell their drugs. And only because you were surrounded by people, it didn't mean you didn't feel lonely and needed something to cheer you up, got you out of this loneliness.

"No."

"We can't safe them." She put her hand on his for a second.

"No, we can't. They've to do the first steps alone, we can only offer our help."

"When I saw this woman, she had 'victim' written all over her face. I bet her dealer slapped her. She stayed anyway because he had what she needed."

"Born victims. According to some scientists there are people who are born to be a victim."

"Do you believe this too?"

"No. It's not all the DNA, what you see, how you grow up, has an influence on you too. When you see nothing else than violence, have always been the victim, it will be hard for you to change anything. You learnt to be."

"Or you snap one day and start to kill, be the predator."

"Which is most times also not good." He looked out of the window, watched a homeless man and his cart passing by. Sometimes his cases reminded him of how fortunate he was.


	35. Turn of the screws

35. Turn of the screws (4.21)

"When will you take me to a roller coaster ride?" Sara decided to ambush Grissom with a question when he sat down. A question, that would confuse him, made her in control for a second. And give her the chance for some more private time with him, without sounding too much like she wanted a date with him.

"Since when are you interested in roller coaster?" Obviously she caught him by surprise with her question.

"Since I met you." She grinned. Now, that was a nice quote taken from him, based on his words last year, when she asked him since when he was interested in beauty and he answered the same, she did today. An answer that had confused her for a while. In a positive way. And until today, these two sentences were stuck in her head.

"Okay." He smiled. "Which one do you prefer? The one at the New York New York or at the Sahara? Or on top of Stratosphere, it's high but not like a real roller coaster."

"The one at the casino next to the highway when you come to Las Vegas from Los Angeles, the first casino in this state." This way she'd have a little trip with him. Wasn't she a smart woman? Although, a trip to the top of the Stratosphere Tower at night, the view of the lights of the city, a drink at the bar...could be a nice date too. Roller coaster ride date of coruse.

"Okay, we'll ride it."

"So this case didn't stop you from being a roller coaster addict?" After all, they were at a scene with five dead people, who all died because of lose screws of a roller coaster. When she arrived at the scene, she felt like never using a roller coaster again. But it seemed like it was worth getting over her fear and have an afternoon with Grissom together. Alone.

"No. I had a nice conversation with Woody. He's really into roller coaster."

"Like you."

"Yes…I presented a paper at an entomology convention in Cincinnati only to ride a roller coaster." Grissom confessed. Maybe not the best thing to tell your colleague.

"Seriously?" She laughed. That was crazy.

"Seriously. It was an example about the perfect combination of work and your personal interested. When you're lucky you can have both together."

"Looks like." For a heartbeat she waited before she asked her new question. "I was wondering where you got your information about the roller coaster ride and the enhancement of ejaculation."

"I give you the copy of the article. It's not a personal experience like with you and the lavatory in a plane." He shot back dryly.

"Didn't you want to forget this?" Great, he still remembered. That was embarrassing.

"No, I said, I won't mention it to the guys." The smile he gave her told her, he was amused and liked to tease her with it and probably it wasn't the last time he brought it up.

"Thanks…did you get your screw?"

"Yes." He raised his eye brow. "You were there, Sara."

"Right. I must have forgotten." She smirked. Now this was a different kind of conversation. Barely about the case, it was more like they were teasing each other and their words could be understood in a different way. Really nice. If it was up to her, they could continue like this and keep away from the cases. A little bit of private time was better than an extra conversation about the case


	36. No more bets

36. No more bets (4.22)

"Are you still mad with me?" Grissom sat down and watched Sara, who had been reading in a newspaper while she waited for him in the diner.

"I've never been mad." An yet, she swallowed when she said these words.

"You were disappointed."

"I…I just don't understand your reason. You chose Nick because he doesn't care if he gets the key position or not? What kind of reason is that?"

"My reason."

"Yeah." His stupid reason, that made no sense at all. At least not to her. Give the promotion to somebody, who doesn't care. A promotion should be for the one, who is most qualified for it.

"Sara, why is it this important for you to get the promotion?"

"Because I'm qualified for it." And she wanted it.

"And Nick isn't?"

Bad question, typical catch-22. Nick was qualified for the position, no doubt about it. So what to say? Yes he is but I'm better? Because you asked me to come here? It had been almost four years now that she came from San Francisco to Las Vegas, maybe it was about time to let go of it and look for some other reasons. Like…I thought there is something between us? And it shouldn't affect our work relationship but…okay, I thought I'm special to you and you treat me special. Great, the close she came to the truth with her answer, the more she had to change it in order to give him an answer. An answer that justifies why she was better than Nick.

"Yes he is."

"But?" He knew, he had her.

"No but."

"I trust you Sara when you're doing your job and I need you to trust me when I do mine. Even when you don't always agree with my decisions."

She sighed. Needless to say it didn't matter if she agreed with his decisions or not, he was the supervisor and in charge. No matter if she liked it or not.

"Can we talk about the case?" Sara asked to end this. There was nothing left to say for her, nothing that made her feel better.

"Sure."

"I was surprised that Sam Braun let the boy leave. Apparently when he took him into the 'box' he never hurt him. Well, not in a way that ended his life. Or changed it forever."

"Like he did to Joe? We can't prove it." The man who killed the two boys, tried to frame his own son, claimed Sam Braun broke his hand.

"No. But between you and me, do you think Sam Braun did it?"

"I believe he did a lot of more things, worse than using a hammer on somebody's hand. As long as we have no evidence, we can't say it for sure." And even when there was evidence... Catherine had taken money from Sam Braun, nothing illegal but...Grissom wasn't sure if there were no strings attached. He was her father - which was bad enough - but when a man with his reputation gives you money, usually he wants something back.

"That's why we have a gut feeling."

"Which doesn't help you in court."

"No. But it des help at work, sometimes it makes you look in the right direction, when you don't have to evidence to get there." Not that she had any ambitions to come after Sam Braun because of what he did or didn't do to the man. Joe Greene killed two innocent boys, it was hard to feel sorry for him. At least for Sara.

He nodded. "True. Sometimes it's all about feelings." Like she felt bad because of his decision to pick Nick. No real reason, only feelings.


	37. Bloodlines

37. Bloodlines (4.23)

This was so embarrassing. Not only was she pulled over by cops, she was also at the police station, stopped and taken in for DUI and they called Grissom. From all people in Vegas, they called the one she didn't want this to know.

"Come on I'll take you home."

It sounded like a dream come true. This words. Him taking her home. For such a long time she had been waiting for him to say words like those. He wanted to take her home. He, in her apartment. Her in his car. Or her in his. So nice.

And his hand. He took her hand, squeezed it. They held hands. For a moment, but who cared? They held hands. Like a couple. If the situation wasn't that bad, if she didn't know she was in trouble, she'd have savored this moment. Their hands connecting. Him, taking care of her. The way a lover was supposed to take care of their partner. Oh sweet lord, if this could only be true. For longer than a few seconds. And not because the police called him.

Of course there'd come questions like why she did it. Why did she drink and got into her car? Why did she not take a bus or a cab? And why did she drink at all after work? Did she have a problem with alcohol? After all, Brass said something about it a few weeks ago. Did she have a problem? With alcohol? No, not with alcohol.

Or was her problem more…a problem with herself? Being mad because Nick was obviously Grissom's pick when it came to a promotion. Okay, he had been a CSI level three before she was but…she was the one Grissom asked for to work in Vegas. She was handpicked. Didn't that count at all?

Oh point nine. Barely any alcohol and still enough to get her into trouble. Yes, she knew she wasn't supposed to drink at all when she was driving. But…after a long shift you needed some distraction. And a beer. Or two. When she ended up holding hands with Grissom it was worth the trouble, wasn't it?

* * *

We've got your CSI here, she was stopped by a patrol car and blew oh point nine and is at the department.

Is she okay? For a moment Grissom felt like the whole world stopped moving. When the police told him, they got Sara for DUI he thought, something bad must have happened. His CSI was injured, in an accident or in any other kind of trouble. Well, she was in trouble. In a kind of trouble, that was…not as huge as it could be. But still.

He rushed to the department, his thoughts with her all the time. Why? Sara was a smart woman, why did she drive after she drank alcohol? That was so stupid and stupid wasn't like her. What was wrong? Why did she drink at all? All right, it was after shift and many people had a beer or two when they came home after work to relax. But Sara had her drinks in a bar or elsewhere and decided to take her own car instead a cab. Why? Had she been alone? Probably. He doubted the other guys had let her drive after two beers or so.

Then he found her, sitting in the department, her head down. Vulnerable. How was he supposed to be mad with her? He couldn't. All he wanted to do is make sure she was all right, take her in his arms, hold her. But he couldn't. After all, he was her supervisor, he had to act like that. So all he did was taking her hand, squeeze it, show her, he was there, would make sure she was all right and take care of everything.

"Come on I take you home." Maybe he should have done this earlier. Take care of her. Make sure she was all right. He knew she wanted the promotion, there were reasons why she didn't get it and…and he hoped it had nothing to do with this. They needed a serious conversation to find out all the answers to the questions he had.

But until then, he would take her home, make sure she was all right and try not to act too much like a boss but like a friend, she needed now.


	38. Viva Las Vegas

38. Viva Las Vegas (5.1.)

Okay, once again, she was doing good.

So I had some time to think while I was away…enough time to figure out why I made such a stupid mistake. I do not have a drinking problem…I have a _me_ problem. My P.E.A.P. counselor suggested that it would be a good idea to talk to my supervisor…and that's you …Grissom. I never told you about my family…I never told anyone about my family, why would I…

That was how far she came in the locker room. Now she had to add the rest of her speech to it. Why should I talk to you? I mean, we're only colleagues, you made it clear it's this way and you don't want it an another way. But…I've the feeling if I can talk to somebody about my family, my past, me, it's you. There are a lot of things that happened to me, you have no idea of and can't imagine. So if it's okay I'd like to talk about them with you.

Yes, that sounded about right. All she had to do now was saying these words out loud when Grissom arrived and…talk to him. Unfortunately she felt nervous like a school girl on her first date or at the prom night. Talking to him wasn't easy, it was Grissom, you never knew what he thought, what he might say or react and…

"Your friend Greg failed."

"Huh?" She looked up surprised. There he was and she hadn't seen him coming.

"Your friend Greg, he failed his final test."

"What? How?" Greg prepared himself good for the test, what went wrong? She had to call him, make sure he was all right. Was this the end to his dream of being a CSI?

"He committed a fatal error and compromised evidence."

"What did he do?" She couldn't see Greg doing a fatal error. He was thorough.

"Used the toilette at a crime scene before he cleaned the bathroom."

"Oh sh…damn it." She sighed. What a stupid mistake. He should have known better. "Will you give him another chance?" Please let him say yes. Please, please, please.

"Yes. Even when his replacement just quit. Apparently our lab is too loud, too busy and nobody respects her work place."

"It's…unique." And maybe also loud and busy, but there was respect.

"Apparently too unique. Means your Greggo has to look for a new replacement."

"He'll find somebody." She didn't bother correcting him about 'her Greggo'. "Beside the slip at the toilette, did he do a good job?"

"Yes. That's why I give him another chance."

"Good." She was looking forward to work with him. After he finished his proficiencies. Okay, time to talk to him about…her. "Grissom…"

"How was your case? I heard you had an alien."

Great, he just came up with a different topic. Should she tell him, there was something else on her mind? More important? More urgent? No, it was better to finish with the cases first and get to the personal later. "Don't believe what's written in the papers."

"A body next to Area 51."

"Yeah. He was taken there by the man who killed him. Unknowingly killed him. He found him and thought, he was dead. In order to do him a favor, he took him close to Area 51 and buried him. Unfortunately our pseudo alien wasn't dead, he was unconscious and died because he was buried alive."

"A hard case for the jury."

"Yes."

"Well, lucky for us, we don't have to worry about it. I've got to go, there's some work waiting for me on my desk. See you tonight."

Before she could say another word to stop him, he was up and on his way out of the diner. So much for talking to him about herself. Looked like she had give it another try tomorrow.


	39. Down the drain

39. Down the drain (5.2.)

"You watched all the video?" Grissom asked. He hadn't seen Sara since she sat down in a lab with the rest of the video from the boy.

"Yes. It looks like dad trained his son from an early age how to build a bomb and handle them. Even when he was little boy, he was 'cooking' liquids that were made to explode. They blew up things, made it look like it's the biggest fun on earth. How can a father put the life of his son at risk and thinking it's pure fun?" When she watched the video she was shocked. How could parents do this to their children? How could they risk their lives? It made her feel angry and helpless.

"Probably he learnt the same from his father. Just passing the family knowledge on. It's what people do since thousands of years, it's in our nature. Hand the knowledge over to the next generation. It's what kept us alive, made us develop new things."

"Great, in this case it means, a few years later they might have build an a-bomb in their garage and blow off an entire city?"

"Maybe."

"Crazy."

"Like risking your life to get some evidence?"

Sara rolled her eyes. "I told you, I don't have a death and I wasn't drunk. All I did was collecting the evidence."

"Evidence is important, the life of my CSI is more important. I don't want you risk your life to get evidence. When I saw the knifes and got told by the bomb tech to get the hell out of the garage, I left without questioning him or trying to be a hero."

"Nothing happened." And she got what she wanted. They needed the evidence to build a solid case and it was her job to protect evidence. That was what she did, protect it from the bomb squad. No need to make it sound like she ran through a group of lions, that didn't have anything to eat for a week or so.

"This time."

"I make sure there won't be a next time." Or that he won't hear of it if she did.

"Hopefully. You risked not only your own life, you risked Warrick's life as well. Did you never think about that?"

"I did." How long would he tell her off for doing her job? "Can we leave it? It's over, I'm sorry and won't do it again. And when you came into the house and told me to leave it ASAP, I did exactly what you want. I learnt my lesson, okay?"

He looked at her for a few seconds, considering if he should follow her request or continue talking about the incident. He wasn't sure she was fully aware of what she did and why he told her off…no, not told her off, told her, he was concerned. Then again, it was over and repeating it over and over again wouldn't help. At one point Sara would get mad and he frustrated. So it was better to leave it and move on.

"Greg had his first autopsy, he did much better there than in his proficiencies."

"Yeah, tough guy didn't puke. I told you he's great and he'll be a great CSI soon."

"One more chance, he won't get a second last chance. When the two of you meet, make it clear to him, will you? Otherwise, you won't work with him at crime scenes. It's hard enough to find a replacement for him in the lab, he's one of the best and I don't like replacing the best with only a good one."

"I'm sure he'll find you a very good replacement. And stop make it sound like Greg and me have an affair, we're friends, that it." And if you're jealous, just say so and I tell you, the only one I'm interested in, is you, Gilbert Grissom. Or maybe she shouldn't say this...too much truth.


	40. Formalities

40. Formalities (5.7)

"Even on your day off you're here on time instead of in your bed, sleep in and have a relaxing start in the morning." Grissom said to Sara.

"One day off, you go to bed and sleep during the night, your rhythm is screwed up for the next night." Sara shot back dryly, the croissant in front of her ignoring.

"You were awake the whole night?" Why wasn't he surprised? He only hoped she didn't listen to the police scanner the whole time. Or read forensic books and magazines.

"Yes."

"What did you do?"

"I went to a show and then to a second one, watched the midnight movie in an old cinema, had a drink in a club, took a cab to my home, worked through all my paper work and came her for breakfast – again with a cab in case you're concerned again." She smiled.

He raised an eye brow. "It's good to know you learn from mistakes. And that you did something else than listen to the police scanner on your day off. Did you enjoy the shows and the movie?"

"Yes. When was the last time you watched a show on the Strip? Or went to the movies?"

"Two months ago."

"You're up for a night off too. Now that we have this new and fabulous assistant director nothing can happen anymore. Las Vegas is safer than ever."

"Cynical suits you so much." Grissom smiled.

"I know. What did you say? You were supposed to held a speech that night. Were they impressed by the words you chose to describe Ecklie? Hopefully you didn't say the truth. On occasions like this, people don't want to hear the truth, only sweet little lies."

"The 4-19 got me away before I had the chance to talk about Ecklie."

"Lucky you." Sara laughed. It was either a lucky coincidence or somebody looked after Grissom big time. Getting away from a party with murder…or because of murder. Exactly what she would have wished for if she were in his shoes.

"Catherine wasn't happy. She had to make the speech about Ecklie."

"Did you prepare something?"

"A napkin."

"A napkin?" Typical Grissom. "What was written on it?" Probably not much. She bet he started to write something on it the moment he sat down at the party and realized, he was caught there and had to come up with anything.

"What can I say about Conrad Ecklie."

"That's it?" Sara snorted with laughter. Why wasn't she surprised? Poor Catherine.

"Yes, I had no time to write more…and no clue what to say about him."

"There are no good things to say about him."

"Never said that." His denial was only half hearted.

"No need to, I heard the words between the lines."

"You're a good listener…are you also a good observer?"

"What do you mean?" Did he talk about evidence?

"Sofia Curtis."

"Who's that?"

"CSI three, dayshift. She worked the case with us."

"I don't have a picture to this name, sorry."

"Doesn't matter. It's good to know I' not the only one who doesn't pay attention to our colleagues."

"Looks like." Sara leant back. It was good she came here to have a coffee with him. Not only to keep her rhythm, mostly to talk to him, listen to his voice.


	41. mea culpa

41. Mea culpa (5.9)

"I don't believe it!" Sara, obviously angry, sat down at the same spot Nick and Warrick sat a few minutes ago. With an annoyed move she got her hair out of her face, her brown eyes flashed angrily. "I don't believe it. I really can't believe it's real. Tell me it's all just a stupid joke. Ecklie did not break up our team."

"He did." Grissom tried to keep his voice as calm as possible, despite all the anger he felt too. But he knew he had to keep himself together. It was he expected from himself.

"How could he do that?"

"He's the boss."

"He's an idiot, an ass-kissing idiot, who has no idea about real CSI work. This jerk is only about politics, about using people, manipulating them for his own use. He shouldn't be close to any real CSI, leave alone in charge of the lab. They made a big mistake to promote him."

"Sara, calm down." He laid his hand on hers. "He's not worth being this mad."

"Aren't you mad at all? I can't believe it doesn't make you angry that he broke up your team. Our team. For no real reason, only because he can. Asshole!"

"It makes me very mad and I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do whatever it takes to make this undone. Unfortunately there's no way to go back."

"So we'll work in a smaller team and without Cath, Warrick and Nick." It didn't even make her happy that she was still in his team, the anger was too big

"With Sofia."

"Who worked with Ecklie all the time. I don't believe he put her to us without a reason." Sara grumbled. Obviously Ecklie placed a mole in their team to find more information he could use against Grissom.

"She got demoted."

"God knows what she'll get out of this. Probably she's a spy, has to get Ecklie whatever he needs to get rid off you. That's all he want, Grissom."

"I know." He sighed. The evidence and the case were only pleaded to make him look bad. Another part of the private war Ecklie fought against him.

"Ecklie hasn't your expertise and he tries to make you look inadequate this way. Hell, he came to me, all cheerful and asked about my PEAP because you didn't notice our conversation about it. Like it was the most important thing in the world. Or his business."

"It's part of my job and I was sloppy about it."

"Your job is to catch killer, find evidence so the D.A. can build up bullet proofed cases and get criminals off the streets. That's what important." She felt like slamming her fist into Ecklie's face - or anything else that came in handy to get rid off her aggressions.

"I know but for now we have to live with what we've got. These new circumstances aren't what we wanted, for now we have to work with them. Can you do it? Concentrate on your work and not get into Ecklie's face the next time you see him?" Grissom knew Sara was mad and knew, he had to make sure, she didn't do anything stupid. Otherwise he might lose her and that was something he didn't want to think about.

"Got no other choice."

"No. I promise I'll try to get our team back together. If there's a way I'll find it."

"Okay." Sara sighed. She envied Grissom for keeping his cool – at least on the outside while she felt like a bomb ready to explode. You come back to the lab, closed a case and they tell you, your team isn't your team anymore and everything has changed. Nobody asked you, nobody cared what you wanted, thought of this. Not fair. So much like Ecklie.


	42. No human involved

42. No humans involved (5.10)

It had taken Sara a little bit longer to get to the diner today. After she made sure nobody was watching her, she read everything she could find about the trial of her mother. So many things she had tried to forget, didn't know. This case made her remember a lot of bad things, bad moments and pain. Yes, she had been in the system, had been in foster homes and didn't have to pretend she knew how it was like. She did know. And it still hurt. Especially because there was nobody to talk about it. Her colleague may be her friends as well but…it didn't feel right to include them in her own sad teenager story. Not at the moment.

"You look tired." Grissom greeted her.

"I am. A little bit. What about you?"

"Yeah, it's been a tough case."

"First case with the new team." It was strange to come to work and Nick, Warrick and Cath weren't around. She missed them, they belonged to her team.

"True. It will take a while before we're used to work without Nick, Warrick and Catherine. And with Sofia."

Sara wondered if the blonde told him about their…not very warm conversation when Sara was scanning the reports of child protective service. Maybe she was a little bit unwelcome or harsh but…this woman belonged to Ecklie and was placed in her team…or what was left of her team. And Sara still believed, Sofia had been placed there for a reason.

"You like her?"

"She's as unhappy with the new situation as we are. Her way of processing scenes is exactly the opposite to my way but that doesn't make it wrong. I guess, when we're not that angry anymore about the break-up we'll see more good than bad sides."

More good than bad sides about being in different teams? She really doubted that. "Did she say anything to you about…not feeling welcome in our team?"

"No. Should she?"

"It sounded like it."

"Being reserved to somebody we barely know, who was sent into our group from somebody we don't like, is a human behavior. We need some time to trust people we don't know, it's way of making sure nobody harms us. We might not end up with a wooden club on our head but a bullet isn't much better."

"Devine deserves a wooden club on her head. How could she starve the child to death? How could she possible not care?" It was beyond Sara's understanding why somebody could watch how a child starved to death. How much could you not care to do this?

"She's self-centered."

"Even a narcissistic personality should draw a line at one point." And the life of children was a very good line to wake up and realize, there were other things in life than your fun.

"She just didn't care."

"I hope she'll stay in jail for the rest of her life and her cell mates will treat her the same way she treated the kids. For women like Devine, our prisons are too good. She doesn't deserve a bed and food three times a day. Why treat her better than she treated the victim?"

"Because we don't want to lower ourselves to her level, Sara." He sent her a sympathetic smile, that told her, he agreed with her but accepted the system.

"Sometimes I feel like getting down to their level and show them how it feels what they did to others." Not what she should say as a CSI, but it was what she thought.


	43. Snakes

43. Snakes (5.12)

You've always been a little more than a boss to me. Why do you think I moved to Vegas? Not the words she had practiced for weeks but they made it clear what she felt and what her real feelings were. From the first time they met he had been special to her and it didn't change when he called her and asked to come over to Vegas and work on Warrick's case. No, her feelings grew stronger and stronger. He was the reason why she moved to Vegas, the reason why she took the job offer he made. Not Vegas, not the team, not the desert, only Grissom. It should have been obvious to him but she knew him and she knew, he often didn't get hints when they weren't scientific. So now she had been open and clear, he got it and…it felt good to have it off her chest.

"A quiet night in the lab." Grissom sat down. Like her, he didn't work an active case last night, had time to catch up with some paper work; like the notice of their conversation for Ecklie. Their session. It hadn't been a session the way you suppose to be a session between a supervisor and his CSI. It was way too personal for it. And that made him feel uncomfortable. As always when it wasn't scientific.

"Yes, a nice change. Did you get a lot of things done?"

"Yeah, Ecklie will be pleased to find my notes updated. What about you?"

"I finished all reports, you've them in your mailbox and I sent a copy to Ecklie too."

"He'll be even more pleased." Grissom paused. His mind went back to their conversation. I look for validation in inappropriate places. She had blamed herself. For everything. The easiest thing for her and for him. Or it should be easy for him. But it felt wrong. It wasn't her fault and he knew that…she was right…that they never had only a supervisor – CSI relationship. The problem was, they were supposed to have nothing else than that. After all the problems they had the last weeks, the break-up of the team, the problems with Ecklie, they didn't need more problems. And both were aware of the fact, the whole shift was watched by Ecklie closely.

"Sara…maybe…I think…I believe it might be good if we talk."

"We do talk. All the time."

"Not about work."

Surprised she looked at him. Not about work? Was he saying he wanted to talk about them? As private people?

"Didn't you say these meetings are supposed to be strictly work related?" Why did she bring this in? It had been her chance to talk to him about…yeah, about what? Hadn't she said everything? And he too. Why try it again only to find out, there was no solution. She was tired of feeling disappointed. After all these years, waiting, unsure what to do, trying to move on, it seemed strange to stop and rethink everything.

"You're right. We should keep it this way." He nodded.

"Yeah." Yes, they should keep it this way. Not because she wanted it this way but because she couldn't handle anything else now. She wasn't stable enough to fight upcoming hope and fantasies. Or worse, listen he didn't want to meet her here anymore, didn't want her to think, they could ever be more than supervisor and CSI. As long as he didn't say these words, she could tell herself, there was hope for her. Hope, he changed his mind one day.


	44. Nesting dolls

44. Nesting dolls (5.13)

For the second time of this day Grissom rang the doorbell of Sara's condo. For the second time she opened the door for him, this time without a bottle of beer in her hands.

"Hey." There were still traces of tears on her face, dried little rivers, red eyes that looked sad and tired.

"Hey."

She stepped aside to let him in and closed the door behind him. No diner today. No coffee. Today they'd talk here. At the moment Sara didn't know if they would ever have coffee together after shift. Ecklie wanted her to leave the lab and it was up to Grissom if she would stay or go.

"Ecklie asked for your disciplinary action."

"He hasn't changed his mind." Sara sat down. Of course not, that was his chance.

"No." Grissom waited a heartbeat before he decided to sit next to her. "I told him I won't fire you, that your behavior is a direct result of my management."

"Don't risk your job for me, I don't want this."

"And I don't want you fired. I need you and I told him exactly this. He wasn't happy, tried to threaten me, he should fire me but I told him, he won't do that. So he said you're a loose canon with a gun and all mine. Means, you're not fired." He smiled a bit.

"Thanks…your management has nothing to do with my behavior."

"It has. I missed out talking to you. If I had listened to you, asked you what happened, what makes you so angry, we had this conversation earlier and you might have lost some of your anger."

"Be less of a loose canon with a gun?" She felt reminded of the conversation she had with herself in the locker room a few months ago, when she practiced talking to him about her problems, her family, her past. And never did it. It wasn't his fault, it was her fault.

"We both know him, we both know most times it's better not to listen to his words."

"I'm not sure…if I can stop being this angry…I don't want but I might get you in trouble again when I…lose control."

"Then we have to make sure you won't lose your control anymore." He took her hand. "You are not alone in this, Sara. Not anymore. I won't leave you alone. I promise." Carefully he pulled her in his arms and held on to her.

Sara closed her eyes and gave herself completely into the feeling of being in his arms. He would be there for her. He promised not to leave her alone. And being in his arms felt good, it gave her hope, strength and took her anger away. "Do you think I need more counseling?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm not sure…it's not my thing to talk to stranger about…personal things. But if it helps...I want to do something. You risk a lot with taking the responsibility."

"No, I don't. Nothing will happen anymore. You'll make sure of that. I trust you, Sara."

A single tear dropped down on her shirt. This had been too much for her. Not the being fired, or almost being fired. Of course she had been afraid of it, had no idea what to when she had to leave the lab but…telling Grissom all these things about her childhood, giving him details of what happened to her when she was young, the life in her family it…tired her out. Never before did she tell these things to anybody, for years she had tried to bury these feelings, pictures and whenever there was a case with domestic violence or abuse, her memory came back and made her life hell. If she wanted to continue working with him, stay in Vegas, she had to do something to make herself more stable when the next domestic violence case ended up in her hands. Not only for her own sake, also for Grissom.


	45. Spark of life

45. Spark of life (5.18)

"Is this a work trip?"

"No."

"Where are you taking me?" Sara looked out of the window. When she came to the diner this morning, Grissom was waiting for her in front of it, next to his car. With two coffee to go in his hands he told her to get into a car. So when this wasn't a new work case, where were they heading to?

"A nice spot for coffee and breakfast. There are bagels in the back."

She gave him a surprised look. Breakfast? Okay, since she talked to him about her childhood their coffee meetings became breakfast and instead of strictly work related it was more personal but this…was a surprise. A nice one. It almost felt like a date.

They left Vegas behind them and drove up a mountain. On a car park he stopped.

"Wow." Sara didn't know this place but the whole city was her oyster. With the sun up in the east Las Vegas seemed to wake up slowly.

"Looks nice, doesn't it?"

"It's fantastic. How do you know this place?"

"Take a guess." He smirked.

"You can find some really rare bugs here and you've been hiking and collecting here several times."

"It's a good make-up spot too, so I've heard." He quoted her from the last crime scene.

"Really? Who's your source?" Was he mocking her or did he have dates here? Were they having a date here? If so, she liked it. The date and the area.

"Can't tell you."

"Why?" She furrowed her brows.

"Some information can't be shared. Sorry." He got out of the car, took the coffee, the bagels and a blanket. "Pick a spot."

"Is this a date?" She asked coy. He could deny it, which was likely or ignore her question, which would be totally Grissom. Or say saying else, change the topic. She didn't expect a yes.

"It's breakfast."

"Okay." Breakfast could be a date. She went to a little spot with grass from where they had a nice look on the city and were shield from the car. A little privacy for their breakfast.

"This is nicer than the diner."

"It is. We should come here more often."

They should come here more often? Today he didn't get tired of surprising her. Yes they met more often, their meetings had changed but this…sounded too good to be true. Was this his way of looking after her? Making sure, she was all right? Fact was, since their conversation in her condo, she was more relaxed, didn't feel that angry anymore and didn't piss anybody off. Not even Ecklie, who watched every step she took.

"Why not? Next time is my treat."

"We've a…an appointment."

A date? Was it a date? Probably this was as close as she could get Grissom to a date. At least at the moment. Well, they were alone, they had food and drinks, a lovely scenery in front of them, it had everything you needed for a date. For the start of a date.

You never knew how your date might end…


	46. 4x4

46. 4x4 (5.19)

"So you had a shower with Greg."

"Yeah." Sara grinned. She noticed that Grissom had been around when she and Greg talked after the decontamination shower.

"Since when are you so close?"

"Whatever it takes to work a crime scene. We're devoted to our work."

"Or each other?"

She cocked her head and smiled. "Are you jealous?"

"No."

The way he denied it showed her, he was. Perfect. Exactly what she wanted him to be. Make him jealous and see, what would happen next.

"Did you read my report of the case?"

"Not yet."

"Well, you should. It will explain why it was important that Greg and me took a shower together. And just to let you know, it's not the first time I took a shower with a man. The first the man was a colleague, but you know what they say, there's a first time for everything." Gosh, that was good. She was good.

"You enjoy this, don't you?"

"A little bit."

"I'll remember this and use it against you one day, Sara." He threatened, a little smile in the corner of his mouth. He knew she played with him and liked the fact, he overheard them.

"No you won't." She flashed a smile.

"Don't be too sure of yourself."

"I'm not, I trust you." Sara was quick at repartee. "So, you had a guy who stole a Hummer to run over a taco stand?"

"Yes. The owner of the taco stand refused to let the kid steal his money so he thought that would be a great revenge. Also for stabbing his accomplice with a knife and him burning with hot fat in the face and the throat."

"Ouch. That hurts."

"So does the dumbness of the guy. I'm glad he didn't make to the stand, they sell a really nice taco there. Maybe when we ask nicely you get a vegetarian one."

"You want to take me out for taco eating?" First breakfast in the hills, now taco.

"Broaden your horizon."

"Thanks…I think…"

"And what's your story about having a shower with Greg?" Grissom couldn't let go of it.

"He wanted to see my tattoo."

"You've got a tattoo? Where?"

"Nice try." Sara grinned. "Greg and me worked a case with a dead bodybuilder. First we thought he was killed by somebody because his face looked pretty beaten up, then we found out, it wasn't somebody, it was something. Mould. Rhizopus oryzae."

"His face collapsed from the inside."

"How do you…never mind." Of course he knew what happens when somebody lived in an apartment with this special kind of mould.

"There's a reason why I'm the supervisor. How did the mould get into his apartment?"

"He shot a hooker, the bullet with the blood and tissue got stuck in the wall, was exposed to water and the mould had exactly the environment it needed."

"So the hooker he killed, killed him? Poetic justice."

"Yes." She smiled. A case of self justice the cops wouldn't follow up.


	47. Committed

47. Committed (5.21)

"Let me take you home."

"The last time you offered to take me home I was at a police station, not allowed to drive anymore and you got me out of trouble." Sara leant to her car, a soft smile around the corner of her mouth. It was cute how he tried to protect her, looked after her.

"You're not in trouble, you're not drunk, you can drive and I still would prefer to take you home." Grissom answered seriously, his hand shortly stroking over hers.

"Why…don't you follow me? Make sure I arrive home safely and I thank you with a coffee?" She didn't feel like going to the diner. The shock of having Adam Trent almost kill her, was too deep. A crowded place wasn't what she was after, a quiet place and his company on the other hand sounded good.

"Deal." He followed her home, parked his car next to hers and opened her car door for her.

"Thanks. You are a gentleman."

"I am. I figured you don't invite rowdies to your condo."

"No, I don't." They went upstairs and Sara noticed, it didn't feel strange anymore to have Grissom in her condo. Quite contrary. It felt good, she could get used to having him here.

With their two coffees and two muffins she heated up in the microwave because they lived the last days in her freezer, she came back to him. Grissom had made himself comfortable on the couch, the same place he sat when he was here the first time.

"Wow, you serve breakfast."

"Kind of, yes." For a second she thought about sitting on her armchair before she changed her mind and sat next to him. "When will you tell me you worry about me and you're here to make sure I'm fine."

"There was a man, a rapist, who threatened to kill you, Sara. Of course I worry about you."

"I'm okay. Now. The case…the place…there were many memories. I guess that shook me more up than Adam and his attack. At least at the moment."

"What about later?"

"There might be nightmares, not only because of me facing death but because of my mother, my past. Please don't suggest a visit to the department psychologist, I've seen him often enough and he doesn't help when I've one these nightmares."

"Okay." He ate a piece of his muffin. "Did you visit your mother often as a child?"

"No, once or twice. It's not the place you take a child to."

"Definitely not." With concern he saw her hands shaken a little bit when she took her coffee. Despite what she said, Sara wasn't all right. Carefully he put his hands around hers, made her hold the cup steady. Her first impulse was to free her hands, then she let him guide her, felt his skin on hers and let him help her.

"I'm glad I came here with you."

"I'm glad you came." She rested her hand on his.

"You're trembling."

Did she? He was right, she did. When did she start to tremble? And were there tears in her eyes? Was she losing it?

"Come here." He pulled her on his lap, let her bury her face in his shoulder and stroke softly over her back. She needed him and he promised her to be there for her. Now was the time to keep his promise, she needed him more than before. And he needed to be with her, make her feel all right again.

"You shouldn't be alone, Sara. Not now."

"Then why don't you stay?" Her voice was quiet and her arms embraced him, made it obvious she didn't want him to leave. So why should he leave?


	48. Grave danger

48. Grave danger (5.23)

A case had never been as personal as this one was. From all bad things that could happen to them, one their own was taken away. Nick was abducted from a scene and buried alive by a man, who killed himself to keep the secret of Nick's whereabouts. He left the CSI to die, watched by his friends, who could see every move Nick made on camera.

"I thought he has to die. Or would kill himself." Sara sat on her couch, staring into the nowhere, arms around her knees to make her feel warm. It was so cold, despite the heat outside and the warm jacket she still wore.

"He made it." Grissom sat next to her.

"Yeah…I was so afraid."

"So was I. We all were."

"How…it's not the first time a CSI became a target but this…this was planed. The only intention had been hurting a CSI and let him die slowly. Under the eyes of his colleagues and friends." Her voice was shaky. "It could have been you. Or me." The abduction hadn't been about Nick, it had been about CSI. When she thought, she could have watched Grissom in the glass coffin, her heart ached like she was about to have a heart attack.

"It could have been anyone of us, yes."

"Sometimes I wonder why we're doing this. Why do you put ourselves at risk every day."

"Because we like solving mystery, enjoy learning something new every day and most important, we make a change to the world. Maybe just a small one but a little piece of heaven is better than nothing."

"It didn't feel like heaven this time. Not even after we had Nick back. Justice can't be done, Gordon is dead and his daughter…she's guilty too but it was his plan, he put Nick there. He deserves to rot in jail."

"Unfortunately we have no power about it." Grissom got up, took Sara's hand and pulled her on her feet. "Come on, take off your jacket."

"I feel cold."

"That won't change when you keep it on, you're cold from the inside, your jacket doesn't help." He opened the zip and took off her jacket. Immediately her arms embraced him.

"I feel lost."

"Tell me what I can do to find you."

She pulled his head to hers and kissed him softly. "I want to feel you. Your warmth to make my body feel warm again. Make me feel something else than being lost."

"Come on." His hand found hers and he pulled her with him to the bedroom. Carefully he took off her shirt and pants, did the same with his. Only dressed in their underwear they got into Sara's bed. He didn't have a chance to pull the blanket over them completely when her arms pulled him in, her legs cling on his. His body heat was the only thing that could make her feel warm again. Make her feel not lost anymore.

"Can you hold me like this forever?"

"Forever may not be long enough." He kissed her softly and felt how his own stress got relieved. Having Sara in his arms made everything look less bad, made him cope with the world and the problems easier. Why did he resist for so long? It felt good, it felt right and made him happy. He could have have this years ago, instead he had hidden himself behind stupid rules and lame excuses why they couldn't be together. It was still not allowed, when one of their colleagues found out they were in trouble, one of them had to leave the team, but this seemed to be not that important as long as they were together. Yes, they had to be careful, had to keep their relationship as a secret but it was worth it. They needed each other more than anything else and he wouldn't let anybody or anything get in their way.


	49. Bite me

49. Bite me (6.3)

"Haven't seen you here in a while." Grissom said when he sat down in the diner.

"Likewise." Sara smiled. The last times they met at his or her place to be alone, be sure nobody saw them together. Today they were back at their old place. If somebody came around, saw them here, all they did was having a coffee. Like all the years before.

"Guess we were both busy elsewhere."

"You can say it this way." She sipped on her coffee and the look she sent him was full of tease.

"Were you surprise how the case ended?"

"Kind of. I don't expect the child to be a murderer. Or that her father kept quiet about her doing it."

"His daughter is more important than the wife and all he has left."

"Yeah…they had a strange relationship. No sex, him having his biting fetish and her having an affair with her boss."

"A woman who has an affair with her boss…sounds…interesting." He raised his eye brows.

"I bet that happens more often than we think." She shot back amused. Yes, they had a relationship, a love relationship, not a work relationship. No matter how often she repeated these words in her mind, reminded herself it, it still sounded unreal. Like she was living in a fantasy. One she dreamed of for over six years.

"Are you a one or two bedroom kind of woman?"

"Uhm…" His question caught her off guard. "Why?"

"I'm not planning a house with you, Sara. Not yet. We can't tell anybody about us, we need to keep our own places. In general. After you told me you don't have to sleep in the same bed to have sex or a romance."

"Well…I prefer a shared bedroom. It's much nicer when you're not alone. I like to wake up next to you, snuggle into your arms for a few more minutes before we have to get up and go back to work. Being with you makes my life special, Grissom"

"Ditto." The look he sent her was full with love.

"What about you?" She turned tables.

"I prefer to have the one I love in my arms, be close to her. That's why you share a place, to be close, to be together. You make each other happy, you should be together."

"Exactly." And she wished they could share a place. Not now, it would be too early, even when they didn't have to hide. One day, when they were ready to let the others know about them, they could talk about sharing a place; sharing a bedroom.

"Got any daughter I've to be aware of? When I become the evil stepmother." Sara grinned.

"No. What about you? Do I have to fear a jealous son? Or a boss you have an affair with?"

"No. There's only one boss and I've a relationship with him, not an affair."

"Well, sounds like we can have a nice future."

"Yeah." When? The question about for how long they had to hide, had to pretend they were only supervisor and CSI was in her head. It had to stay there, it was too early for this kind of discussion. Even when she was almost sure, he asked himself the same question. For now she was happy they were together, spend time together and her dream came true. When they met for breakfast after work now, the cases weren't the main topic, not the only reason. It was to be together, talk about them, enjoy each others company.


	50. A bullet runs through

50. A bullet runs through (6.7)

"Did you talk to Brass?" Sara asked.

"No, he didn't answer his cell." Grissom sighed. "He and Sofia went to officer Bell's funeral and I imagine it wasn't easy for him. Even when he didn't shoot Bell intentional, he shot him and that makes you look guilty and like one of the bad guys."

"This case will keep our minds busy for a while."

"Yeah."

She looked at the news on the TV on the wall. Pictures of the crime scene, of them working it. Parts of Grissom's speech to the Spanish community. They were still on the news.

"Why are you this jealous?" Grissom suddenly asked.

"Huh?"

"The scene in my office. With Sofia."

"Oh come on, she wasn't supposed to be there. It was against policy, you both could have gotten in trouble for that." That had nothing to do with jealousy.

"She needed somebody to talk to."

"You couldn't be the one – for reason I just named."

"I wonder if you had said the same if Brass had been in the office when you walked in."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you're over reacting when it comes to Sofia. You behave like a jealous teenager when she's around and I wonder why. There are no reasons for it."

"You took her out for dinner. When I asked you, you denied. She must be very special." And Sara was still...not happy about that. Him having dinner with the blonde.

He sighed and shook his head. "She's a friend."

"And what was I? Don't say a colleague because she's one too."

"And she'll never be more. I knew when I have dinner with her, our relationship stays professional, there were never other intentions while between you and me…we both knew at that time, when we have dinner together, it will lead to something."

"It sounds like it led to something bad."

"No…Sara…" He moved his hand for a second like he wanted to touch hers but pulled his hand back. "I wasn't ready for this. For us. And I knew if we rush it, it won't work out. Sofia is a friend like Catherine and you're not jealous when Catherine and I talk or go for dinner."

"That's different." She felt a little bit like a pouting school girl.

"How?"

"Sofia…" What was the difference? Besides the strange feeling in her guts? The fury when she saw the blonde around him. "I can't explain it."

"There's an easy explanation for you having no explanation."

"Which one?"

"You can't explain something that doesn't exist. There's no reason to be jealous. As a smart woman, you should know it."

"I'm not sure if I'm that smart. Certainly not when it comes to people."

"Another thing we have in common." Now he put his hand on hers for a second. "Really, no reason."

"Okay. Sorry."

"Don't tell me, tell her."

"No!" It was one thing to say to him she was sorry, a different thing to say it to Sofia Curtis. She cared a lot what Grissom thought, how he felt, what Sofia thought wasn't that important to her. Well, nobody was as important as Grissom.


	51. Daddy's little girl

51. Daddy's little girl (6.12)

"So, tell me more about your expertise about threesomes." Sara dared amused. Warrick told her about Grissom's comment in the garage and now she was curious what was the story behind this comment. Which dark secrets or kinky past had her…boyfriend…? Beside that he was her boyfriend.

Grissom smirked, sat down and sipped on his coffee. "You want me to cite my source again? The last time you dared me in this area you ended up telling me about your membership in the high mile club."

"Well, I didn't say anything about me knowing anything about threesomes and so it's you, who has to play with open cards. So?"

"Jealous?"

"Curious."

"Would you prefer to listen a story of my life or a cite of a magazine?"

"The truth is just fine." She wouldn't let go of this one. He was caught and she liked to see him struggle. Finally the tables were turned and she had the upper hand.

"College, first year."

"Did you share your experience with a woman and a man or two women?"

"Does it make a difference?"

"No. Still just curious."

"If we know everything about each other won't it make our life boring?"

"No. You know a lot of things about me, now it's my time to find out a few things about you."

"I think some things should stay unsaid. Like the comment that some people shouldn't be together. What did you want to tell me with these words? And the look you gave me?"

"You're the smart guy, figure it out."

"As far as I know we are together so you could not have been talking about us. Even the look said different. Maybe it was sign, you don't want to be with me?"

"Exactly. I'm sick and tired of us being together after these few months. Typical me, I wait for years for you to be ready, to do something in spite of yourself and then, when finally we're together, I change my mind."

"Women change their mind all the time."

"Not your woman."

"Good." He smiled. "I don't want to let her go."

"Not? Why's that?"

"I like her."

"You like her." She eyed him. He was teasing her. What happened to her upper hand?

"A lot."

"How do you call it, smart guy, when you like somebody a lot? What's the short version? The magical three words."

"Cook some dinner? Clean the apartment?"

"If you're up for trouble we can take this outside."

"Why don't we take it to my place and talk about it again? Maybe you get some answers you like there." The look he gave her made her melt like butter in the sun.

"Yeah…lets take it to your place." She got up, pursed her lips and left the diner.

Grissom took the check and went to the waitress, his eyes on Sara all the time. Yes, they should definitely talk at his place, so he could use all his arguments.


	52. Kiss kiss, bye bye

52. Kiss kiss, bye bye (6.13.)

"Your little boyfriend Greg called me 'daddy-o' and called money from 1965 ancient. You should teach him some manners."

"He isn't my little boyfriend like you're not ancient." Sara sat on Grissom's lap and kissed him. They were at her place, he came along a few minutes ago after he left the lab later than the rest of the shift. Like he did mot times.

"Right, you're into older man…and gray hair."

"Can be very attractive." She let her hand ran through his hair. "It all depends on the man, some men are very attractive and some are very vain. That's is the difference between you and Hodges." Sara wished she had have a camera to capture the moment when Hodges tried to cover up his gray hair with a black marker.

"I hope there's more than just vanity."

"Maybe." She pulled his head closer and kissed him again. "Lois flirted with you."

"She tried."

"You kept the cool and I wasn't jealous." Sara was more amused when the grand diva of Las Vegas tried to flirt with her boyfriend, who acted like he had no clue, what she was doing.

"Was she too old for me?"

"No, you've somebody better. Not richer but smarter."

"True. You would go away with murder."

"As long as you don't work the case."

"No I let you work it so can get away with it. Plus you might find some more money."

"Ancient money? The funny thing is, the carpet wasn't ancient, it was history. Las Vegas history I didn't want to damage by cutting a whole into it."

"Greg?"

"Who else?"

"He's into Las Vegas history which is a good thing. Only when people are interested in history it will never die. But the next time when he gets a personal present from a killer I'll bag it and lock it away."

"So you let him keep the book?"

"No, I took it away."

Sara looked indignant. "Was that really necessary?" Greg had been so proud of it.

"Yes, I want to read it too."

"Oh." She laughed. "Okay."

"I don't take his book away from him. Don't worry, no need for you to protect him."

"Stop teasing me with Greg. You're the one who sends him and me to a scene together all the time. If you really believe there is something between her and me, you wouldn't do that."

"He can a lot from you and he pays more attention when you talk to him, explain him things."

"I've to do the work of his supervisor? What will Ecklie say about this?"

"Feel like talking to him? Tell him about it."

"Before I voluntarily talk to Ecklie I go to the dentist."

"Is he nicer than Ecklie?"

"A serial killer is nicer than Ecklie. Who, by the way, has almost no hair left."

"Better or worse than gray hair?"

"Worse. Like I said, I like your gray hair, it's sexy." He was very sexy.

"You didn't say you were talking about my hair." Grissom kissed her throat softly.

"Didn't have to, you got me anyway."

"I did. I always do." He continued to kiss her. Maybe they became a little flirty at work, but he liked it. It made him feel like they were fighter for a big secret. In a way they were, they fought for their secret love.


	53. pirates of the Third Reich

53. Pirates of the third Reich (6.14)

Sara was about to ask Grissom what was wrong with him but didn't. The way he looked in the diner, sitting alone on the bench, she thought it wasn't a good idea to interrupt his thought now. The last case had gotten to him. The daughter of Lady Heather was found dead in the desert and she…she had not really a clue in which way Grissom and Lady were connected. The way he looked it was more than an ordinary case for him. Was it because of the case, the fact so many people had to die because a crazy serial killer, who played scientist, or was it because of Lady Heather? What was the deal about him and this woman?

Watching him for another minute she made the decision to him, after all, he came here so he was ready to talk.

"Want another coffee? A hot one?" There was no smoke ascending from his coffee, it had to be cold. Did he ever go back to the lab? She never saw him there after he went into the desert.

"No, thanks."

"Okay." She sat down, noticed his eyes didn't meet hers. "You look tired."

"I am. It was a long night."

"You were in his house." She only heard how the house, especially the basement, looked like. They could imagine what happened there, the evidence was there. More than they needed.

"Yes. I saw his time capsule of…all the nightmares of the third Reich."

"He made experiments of human and gave them numbers." Like the daughter of Lady Heather. And Jack, the man she saw in hospital and was their murder suspect first before he became a victim too.

"They were nothing else than numbers. Experiments."

"Was…was Lady Heather at the scene?"

"No…not at the house."

"But?" There was more, she heard it. Something, he didn't want to notice in his report.

"In the desert, with Wolfowitz."

"Oh." That couldn't be good.

"Lets say, I could stop her from doing something stupid."

There were so many questions. Like what he did, how he did it. What it was about Lady Heather? Why he was this sad. Was it only the case, the circumstances? Or was there more? Something she didn't know of, had no idea of.

"Can I do something for you?"

"No. No…I…I think I need some time alone. I'm sorry Sara, I think I'll go now."

She bit her lips. "Okay." He left her outside. Didn't want to talk to her. Why?

"I see you tonight." His hand brushed shortly over her shoulder, stopped there for a moment. "Sorry...but...I need to be alone..."

"It's…all right…see you tonight." She bit on her lips. He needed to be alone. Why? She thought they were there for each other. Watching him leave there was a feeling of fear rising in her. And sadness. Where did these feelings coming from? He was withdrawing from her, left her out. At the moment she felt like she was a stranger to him, somebody he didn't trust, didn't want involved in his feelings and his life. And she felt how a tear ran down her face.


	54. The unusual suspect

54. The unusual suspect (6.18)

"How were your four days off?" Sara had to force herself not to jump into Grissom's arms when she saw him at the diner. For four days he had been away, somewhere in Utah to see some bugs and his roaches had a race in Salt Lake City. Four days without him, a long time. The longest time they had been apart since they were together. When she saw him sitting at his usual place happiness took over and made her feel warm and…loved.

"Interesting and successful. I took a couple of bugs home, one of my roaches came in first, another one second."

"Sounds like you got everything you wanted."

"There was one thing I missed." His eyes told her he had been missing her as much as she missed him. Due to the case Sara worked there was barely any time to sleep, leave alone call him and listen to his voice.

"Really? I also missed something."

"Weren't you too busy to have your mind anywhere else than on the case?"

"I was very busy but you can't be too busy for some things."

"Was it worth the effort?"

"To wait? It's always worth to wait." She smiled. All the years she had been waiting for him, all the time she wondered if she was doing the right thing or made a fool out of herself, it all felt right now. And she was glad she had been this patient.

"I was talking about the case. The other thing…I hope it was worth every minute."

"Most times." A little smirk appeared in the corner of her mouth before her thoughts went back to the case and her face turned serious. "The case was unusual. Nick built up a case against a high school kid, he confessed the murder of another student, Stacy. In court his little sister, Hannah, she's twelve, told the jury and the rest of the room, she killed Stacy and showed them a bloody shirt. No matter what we tried, we couldn't work out who did it and the jury had no other choice than let them both go."

"In dubio pro reo."

"Yes, I know. When I talked to Hannah afterwards she told me, she didn't kill Stacy, Marlon, her brother did. She had played us right from the beginning."

"She must be a smart kid."

"Skipped six grades, has an IQ of 177."

"A gifted girl."

"Unfortunately she uses her gift for the wrong things."

"She got her big brother out of jail, for a twelve year old girl it's the right thing to do. A family sticks together."

"Maybe." Sara knew her family wasn't like other families but pretending you killed somebody to get your brother out of jail wasn't normal neither.

"Means we have a killer walking around free."

"Yes. And no chance to prove he did it nor any chance that I can prove what Hannah said to me. She played me, Gil. Played with me." It made her angry and helpless.

"We can't look into people's heads, Sara, and when you are between them and their goal, they'll lie to get you out of the way. Some do it in a way you can stop them because they make a mistake, some get away. I know it bothers you, it bothers me too but we can't do anything."

"Only wait until he kills again." Sara mumbled. She had never felt so helpless and played working a case like at the moment when Hannah whispered the truth to her, knowing, there was nothing Sara could do.


	55. popping tags

55. Popping tags (6.20)

"Grissom, I've got a question." Sara leant on the fridge, watched Grissom preparing breakfast for them. A proof they were an ordinary couple.

"What is it, Honey?"

"It's about the case we worked. When I gave you the photos of the three teenager nobody did recognize, you told me you're good at mouth to mouth. Who ever told you that?"

He stopped, put the pan with the eggs off the stove, went to her, pulled her in his arms and kissed her passionately. Sara lost her balance and was caught by him, still sharing the kiss, her arms wrapped around his neck, responding the kiss. For over a minute they stayed like this, him holding her, kissing her, tongues playing with each other.

When he let go of her, helped her back to her balance, there was a smug smile on his lips while he turned back to their breakfast.

"Wow." Sara grabbed the edge of the fridge. That was...wow!

"I guess you got your answer, don't you?"

"Yeah." A wide smile appeared on her face. "A reliable source."

"I found her very reliable. Any more questions I should answer?"

"Can I have that kiss again?" Like a few times a day, please.

"Yes, but not now."

"It's better than breakfast."

"Of course it is, that's why I'm pretty good at mouth to mouth and not only good."

She wanted to tell him he was arrogant, the problem was, he was right. He was pretty good. And she was a lucky woman to have him.

"Your sigh tells me you agree. Any other questions about the case? After all, we're here to discuss the case."

"No, we met at the diner to discuss the case, we're here to have breakfast together and spend the day in bed together. That has nothing to do with the case, it's much better."

He smiled as an answer. Sara was right about that.

"But I do have another question. Did you have a poster of a pop star or actress in your room when you were younger?"

"Ringo, Paul, John and George."

"The Beatles. Of course. I should have known, you named your favorite roaches after them. Anybody else?"

"Albert Einstein. The one with him sticking out his tongue."

"I had the same in my room…when I was allowed to have posters. What about your college room?" This sounded way too well-behaved for a college boy.

"Nothing. I always liked music but it wasn't my style to have pictures of musicians on my wall."

"Did you have poster of bugs and roaches on your wall?"

"That would have impressed women, wouldn't it?" He chuckled.

"Maybe…a few…" Not her. Not at that age and not...now...

"Do you like my butterfly collection?"

"No." She looked at all the butterflies. "I like them much more when they're alive and fly around."

"Want me to put them down? So you don't to look at them anymore?"

"No, it's your condo, you keep on your walls whatever you want." She turned off the stove, pulled him in her arms. "And now I want another kiss like the one before." Said and pulled his lips on hers. Breakfast could wait a little bit longer.


	56. Rashomama

56. Rashomama (6.21)

"Since when do you flirt with witnesses/suspects? I thought you knew better, Sara." Grissom smiled when Sara sat down. After they all had to see IAB and tell them what happened, what they saw, they were free to go home - seventeen hours after their shift started. Too tired to meet at the diner, Sara and Grissom went home to their own places and replaced breakfast with dinner. Same place, different time.

"I didn't flirt with a witness. Who said that?" She thought Nick had been kidding when he said, he should take 'flirting' in his report. He couldn't really have written it down; even when she had to admit it had been funny. Somehow. The drunken friend of the groom, who fell into her and told her, he loved her. One of the few funny moments on a crime scene she experienced. And the brother of the bride had been nice too...but she had Grissom, who cared for all the other men?

"I read what the brother of the bride said, his friend could make an honest woman out of you. What was your reaction?"

"What do you think how I reacted."

"To quote Nick, you're anti-wedding, so I doubt you told him to get to the next wedding chaptel. Besides, you're here, there's no ring on your finger, looks like you didn't get married to whatever his name was."

"No, I didn't. And I'm not anti-wedding, I'm anti-stupid. Most people here get married because they're in Las Vegas and it's what people expect you to do when you're a couple stay here. Or they get married becuase they've nothing better to do."

"So you might get married one day?"

"Depends on who asks me to become his wife." She smirked. It would make her a liar to say, she never thought of getting married with Grissom. Not in a serious way, they weren't together long enough but when she dreamed of him, of how it could be one day, there might have been the idea of marrying him once or twice...

"Well, I hope the right one will ask you."

"So do I." She cleared her throat. "What did you think of the case?"

"I think we're lucky we closed the case. The next time get the evidence to the lab first before you have breakfast."

"Yeah...sorry..."

"Nothing happened and I hope the Sheriff will forget about it and goes back to his politics."

"Hopefully. Maybe he should be tied to a car too."

"Are you creating a hit-list, Love?"

"I have to admit I did create one once...and there were names on you know."

"Me included?"

"No."

"The groom's mother was on everybody's list. I heard not one person saying a nice word about her, nobody felt sorry she was dead. A really sad story if you ask me. You die, people are relieved you're dead, you're not missed and nobody loved you. What's your life worth then? What did you live for?"

"She was pretty successful as a lawyer. The question is, can your job satisfy you enough to make it your highest priority and you continue to offend sensibilities the whole time. At one point you piss the wrong person off; and if it's on the wedding of your son. Which you had just ruined with your speech. Remember me that if I get married, I want a small wedding, without family around."

"I make sure I'll tell you." He smiled and squeezed her hand. Getting married. He thought about it since he was with Sara. One day. Maybe. Who else should me marry if not Sara?


	57. The time of your death

57. Time of your death (6.22)

"Now tell me about your fantasy." Sara whispered into Grissom's ear after they just closed the door to his condo. Her hands were all over him, her lips softly running down his throat. Finally alone, away from her colleague and time for themselves.

"You want me to tell you about my fantasy? Okay, in my fantasy all people live together in peace, are happy, don't kill each other, treat the environment like a treasure and baseball will be the most popular sport on this planet."

"Baseball? Baseball is part of your fantasy?" She looked puzzled at him.

"Sure. You look a little bit like you're not happy with my fantasy. Did you expect me to say something else?"

"I wonder where I am in your fantasy."

"Nowhere. Fantasies don't come true, that's why they're fantasies. You're real, not a fantasy, I've got you, that's much better than dreaming of you, knowing I'll never have you." He kissed her.

"You just saved your ass, my dear."

"Did I?"

"Yes."

"Good. Do you think Caprice knows about us? The way he said 'May all your dreams come true' when he left us, the look he gave us, I had the feeling he knew about us. He doesn't know us."

"Some people have a feeling for people, who belong together and he makes his living sensing what people want. Does it bother you?"

"No, it only surprised me. Our colleagues have no clue and he seemed to see it right away."

"Sometimes you don't spot obvious things when you see them every day, they become normal. Good for us."

"Yeah." It wasn't like she bothered a lot that they had to keep their relationship as a secret, what scared her a little bit was the thought of what might happen, when somebody found out about them. The consequences. That some would come was no question, their relationship wasn't allowed.

"Shall we make Greg's fantasy come true and organize a breakfast for his birthday?" Grissom asked. "After he settled from a huge fantasy to something doable."

"We should."

"You know, sometimes I'm a little bit jealous." Grissom confessed.

"Why?"

"He had a crush on you and you work a lot of cases together, go to a lot of scenes together."

"So? You send us there, you tell us to work cases together and I work most cases with you; I think. At least I've the feeling that most cases I worked so far here, I worked with you. Which makes me quite happy."

"Does it?"

"Yes. Because you're not only my reality, you're also my fantasy." She kissed him softly. "A fantasy that came true. Insofar what Mister Caprice wished for us became reality."

"We made it come true. Isn't that much better than a fantasy somebody pays for?"

"You only try to get away from buying your team fantasy weekends! Don't worry, my fantasy weekend includes only you and me, no casino, fast cars, no pool, nothing. Only the two of us, to make it perfect away from here, having time for ourselves."

"Fantasies are entitled to be perfect. Maybe we can make your fantasy, your perfect fantasy, come true at one point. That's what vacation is for." The only problem was, when they took their vacation together, somebody might find out about their secret. But at one point they deserved some time together, no matter how risky it was.


	58. Way to go

58. Way to go (6.24)

"I'm not ready to say goodbye." She kneed down to be on the same eye level with him. Grissom laid casual on her bed when she came out of her bathroom, dressed in her bathrobe. Nothing better after a shift than a shower and find the one you love on your bed, waiting for you.

"I don't want to say goodbye to you any time soon." He answered. "In fact, I want to spend a lot of time with you after we missed out so much time together."

"We did." She sat down, took his hand. "But we're lucky, it's not too late, we made it just in time."

"In time for what?"

"Another few decades together? The minimum of time we should spend together."

"Sounds like a commitment." He pulled her in his arms, spooned her and kissed her hair, her neck.

"To me it sounds like a promise."

"We should keep our promises." He continued to kiss her. "It's good to be with you. Thanks for being there all the time. I...I don't know if you could have been able to handle the situation without you. The cases, Brass in hospital, the responsibility he gave to me. When I decided the doctor should get the bullet, I felt like making a decision of death and life, without knowing which one I chose."

"You chose the right one, you always do."

"I try to do the right things by analyzing them, finding out how the odds are, if the risks are too high, how to lower them. This time there were no chance for a preparation, I had to choose and knew, whatever happens, it had been my decision and I was the one responsible."

She turned, kissed his lips, snuggled into his arms. "You did the right thing."

"I did. But I tell you, when he opened his eyes, it took more than a load off my mind. We were close to lose him and then he came back. A fighter. Like he always was."

"Yes he is. And a protector. You know, when I...had these self destructive behavior with the alcohol, he knew it first. He smelled the beer, he worried and tried to help. I...sometimes I had the feeling he treats me like a daughter, the way he wants to treat Ellie. Do you think I remind him of her?" Sara didn't see any physical similarities between Ellie and herself but sometimes you didn't spot them yourself while they were obvious to other people.

"Troubled childhood, problems you don't to share with other people, self destructive behavior. I think when he realized what was going on with you, you reminded him of her. And he had lost her, he didn't want to lose you."

"He didn't. You saved me."

"You saved yourself. I was...I was woken up by you. Realized work isn't the whole life, there are more important things than solving cases and study bugs and books."

"Having dinner with your girlfriend? Wait for her on her bed? Spend the night with her and the next day before you both have to go back to work?"

"In separate cars so nobody finds out. Yes." He paused. "Sara, are you all right with us? Being like this? A secret relationship."

"Gil, all I ever wanted was to be with you. I don't care that we have to hide as long as we're together. Frankly I don't want the whole lab talk about us, look at us. The way it is it's good. Or do you want to change it?"

"No, for the reasons you just said. This way we can work together and spend the time after work together. Otherwise we have only the hours after work and there aren't many of them." Especially not when they were on different shifts. No, the way it was now, way the best for them. Made them be together 24/7.


	59. Built to kill

59. Built to kill (7.2.)

Another look on her watch, another round she paced through her living room. Where was he? How long would it take him to come home...or to her place.

I'll deal with it.

These words hurt. These words reminded her of the Grissom she knew a few years ago. Keeping everything to himself, leave her out. Of course the miniature was special, it was terrifying and amazing at the same moment but...why did he was this...not the way he was before, open. The last months he included her in his life, today felt wrong.

When the door got unlocked she forced herself not run to the door to greet him. Instead she sat down on her sofa, waited for him to come in.

"Hey."

"Hey." she could see he felt uncomfortable.

"I...did you wait up for me?"

"How does it look to you?" Sara's voice was sarcastic. He knew she had been waiting for him. After he sent her more or less away.

"Sara..." He removed his glasses, kept them in his hands, turned them. "I...I should have come here earlier."

"No Grissom, you should have not go back to your old self. Locking yourself in your own world, keeping the rest out. It's our case, we have to deal with it, not you. Means we have to talk about it. You can't always stay out, keep us out. If you want us to work with you, you have to work with us too." And she meant not only her, she talked about the whole team.

He looked down, knew she was right and telling her, he was the supervisor and it was his decision who worked when the case, was ridiculous.

"I'm sorry."

"What's wrong with working together? Sharing thoughts?"

"It's...I always worked alone, figured things out myself."

"Like you always lived alone. Things change, people change, we develop ourselves further. You hurt people when you leave them out, you hurt me." Now she named it. Said what she really thought. Made it personal.

"I'm sorry."

"Only words."

He waited for a heartbeat before he left his place, sat next to her and carefully took her hands. "I am really sorry." Waiting for any defensive stance, realizing it wasn't coming, he pulled her on his lap. "Really sorry." Carefully he kissed her cheek.

"Maybe I over-reacted." A little bit. But he hurt her.

"No, you're right. I shouldn't keep you out. I'm sorry and the next time I do it, please tell me. Say I keep you out, I hurt you and we are supposed to work together and not alone."

"Okay." She swallowed to get rid off her tears, that were on their way up to her eyes. Don't cry. Keep it together.

"Want to know what I found? After I started to reprocess the miniature again? Or do you prefer not to talk about the case anymore?"

"We are on our case meeting."

"No, the case meetings are long ago. We meet because we're in love and want to be together." He placed another kiss on her cheek. "I'm here because of you, because I love you and not because of the case."

"Then we shouldn't talk about the case."

"What would you prefer to do?"

"Well, we just fought, I think it's time to make-up. You've to make-up to me, Gil."

"Sounds fair." He pulled her head down and kissed her passionately. Yes, he made her feel sad, he had to make-up for it. It was only fair.


	60. Fannysnacking

60. Fannysnacking (7.4)

When Sara came home she found Grissom waiting for her on her sofa.

"Hey." Her voice was low, her eyes red and she looked tired, like she had been awake for days. The last couple of days were hard on her and you could see it.

"How is Greg?" He knew she had been in hospital to look after Greg. Ever since he got beaten up she was with him whenever she had the time. Grissom understood and wished, he could have been there with her; to be there for both of them.

"He can walk a few yards." And with every step he made, she could see in how much pain he was, how he suffered. It wasn't fair, he tried to help and it almost got him killed.

"That's good."

"Yeah." She sat down, her eyes sad.

"What's the bad part of the story." He sensed there was more, that she hadn't told him everything, held back the bad news. For reasons he didn't understood.

"The kid he ran over, the who attacked him, he's dead."

"Oh." Grissom swallowed. That changed a lot of things. Mainly for Greg, he took away a life in order to safe his own life. Self-defense. The problem was, most times your mind didn't accept the fact you had no other choice. When you killed somebody in self-defense you start to rethink the whole scene again, try to figure out what you did wrong, what you should have done different in order to keep both of you alive. There had be to a way, a way you didn't think of, and now a person was dead. Because of you.

"I worry about him, Grissom."

"Me too. Unfortunately I came up with nothing to help him."

"Me neither. When I saw him down...it broke my heart. He's like a little brother to me and I hadn't done anything to protect him. Couldn't protect him. Wasn't there for him."

"You couldn't. If you want to blame somebody, blame me. I sent him to the liquor store alone. Told him, he doesn't need anybody with him."

"You couldn't know what would happen to him."

"Neither could you. Tell it our brains, the thoughts and allegations."

"They don't listen."

"No. He told me about his family, his parents still believe he works in the lab and not in the fields. As an only child, they tried to protect him, he wasn't allowed to play sports, when they find out he isn't in a safe lab anymore, they'll worry the whole time."

"He got injured in the lab too. The explosion a few years ago. Hasn't he been through enough? It's not fair to let him suffer all the time."

"True." Grissom remembered the day of the explosion. They had to take Greg to hospital and lost a lot of evidence, a murder could walk because of it.

"When I arrived at the scene he said, he doesn't have to see me, he knows the 'Sidle Scent'. Made me almost cry."

"The relationship between you and him is special, you're close. Plus you have a special aura. I feel you around before I see you too."

"Do you?" She was surprised. He never mentioned that.

"Of course. My heart tells me when you're there. No need for my eyes." He kissed her softly. His girlfriend was special and one of the special things about her was, she had no clue how special she was. How much she meant to him and other people.


	61. Double cross

61. Double cross (7.5)

"I can't understand why Father Frank didn't tell Brass and you the true." Sara put a plate in front of Grissom, sat next to him and sipped on her red wine. The pizza she got for him was hot and steamed while the wine was nice cold.

"He couldn't. As a Father of the church he had to keep the confession Cody made for himself. No matter if it gets him into trouble."

"A stupid rule." At least when it came to murder.

"No, it's confidential. Like when you go to a doctor."

"A doctor or a therapist have to call the police under certain circumstances. I wonder if Father Frank had called the police if he had known what Cody was about to do."

"No."

"Makes him semi guilty." She took a slice of the pizza.

"Or a good priest."

Sara paused. She didn't want to say anything that could upset him. In the lab, when she thought she said something wrong, something that offended him, he told her, he wasn't a real Catholic anymore, but he involved parts of his old believe in his life, so there were some things that could offend him.

"He wasn't the father of the child."

"No. Nevertheless he would have loved the child like his own."

"Sofia told me, Cody cried when he heard, it was his child. I wonder if he felt sorry for what he did because of the baby or Charlotte. She was the one he loved, no his wife."

"Makes you wonder why he married his wife in the first place." Grissom put his arm around Sara, kissed her hair. "You should be with the one you love and not with the second best."

"True." Wasn't he cute? Sometimes he surprised her with words like those. A small declaration of love when she didn't think of one.

"Do I have to fear any men because I'm with you?"

"No, not that I know of one. Who should be jealous?"

"Greg? After he came back to the lab so fast, I'm sure you had something to do with it."

"Nonsense. It's the best medicine for him, when you fall off a horse, you get up and jump back on it. I'm glad he's fit enough to do some work. It keeps his mind off getting through the night again and again and again."

"Does that mean you don't visit him at home anymore?"

"No." Sara had been at Greg's place when he was in hospital and on a sick leave. To make sure he had everything he needed, was fine and didn't think of the gang all the time. When the trial started he had to go back to the night, that was soon enough. "I'll see him later, after we had dinner."

"What will you tell him why you're late?"

"My supervisor had this tiny spot of tomato sauce on his cheek and I had to kiss it away." She kissed his cheek where a little bit of tomato sauce was, slipped from the bench on his lap to be in a better position to kiss his lips.

"Really?" His hands ran down her sides.

"Yeah. And to make sure he doesn't eat too much and will be tired tonight, I made him skip half of his dinner and go straight to dessert."

"How did you do that?"

"Like this." Her lips found his and with a long passionate kiss she got his thoughts away from pizza straight to her, being his dinner. Her hands, opening his shirt, did the rest to get his mind completely focused on his girlfriend and nothing else.


	62. Burn out

62. Burn out (7.6.)

When Grissom didn't turn up at the diner and didn't answer his home phone Sara called his office phone and cell phone. No answer. Where was he? If he went to a new scene he had the cell phone with him. Did he have an accident? Should she call in the office if he was still there? But what could she tell the receptionist why she called? She was off duty, had no reason to call Grissom. No work related reason.

"Where are you, Grissom?" Nervously she walked up and down in front of the diner. Was he only late? A traffic jam? This wasn't the time of the day for traffic jams. When her cell phone rang she almost drop it. A text message from him.

_Sorry, I can't make it today, I've something to do. I'll make up for it. See you tonight. Love Paul_.

Despite the disappointment she felt there was a little smile on her face. Paul. In dependence on The Beatles, he was Paul McCartney while she was Linda. Paul's big love. Everybody mentioned the relationship of John and Yoko, they preferred Paul and Linda.

_Are you all right? Is there anything I can do for you? _

It was strange he only sent a text message and didn't call when he couldn't make it to their appointment. Was he with a doctor? Maybe she should go to his place and wait for him. After all, she had keys to his condo. The were a couple, it was nothing special when she went to his place to wait for him, after over a year of being together it should be more strange when she stayed at her place. At least in an ordinary relationship. They had everything but an ordinary relationship and it felt strange to be at his place when he wasn't there. Like she was a burglar with a key.

Looked like she had to go to her own place and wait for tonight. Maybe she would get an explanation then...yeah sure, Grissom was famous for giving explanations for his behavior. After all these years she should know better than expecting this.

* * *

_Don't worry, I'll be with you tonight and bring some dinner. _

Grissom switched off his cell phone and closed his eyes. Silence. Finally everything was quiet. His head was about to kill him. He had no idea how many pills he had taken within the last hours. Too many. But he had to fight the migraine to find the little boys. For one it had been too late. Lucas died because Carl didn't do what he was supposed to do. Why the pedophile insisted to talk to Grissom was a mystery to him. Did this guy think he could manipulate him? After he told him the first time they met, he had no idea what Grissom thought.

And Jason, scared of his grandfather and Carl, on the run, hidden in a bus to see his father. The little boy saw no other choice then traveling through the country to see his father after he saw his best friend dead on the street.

A case without a happy end, like most times. Of course it was good to have Jason back with his father, have him away from his grandfather but the price was the life of Lucas. A boy who had never the chance to grow up.

The sunlight came into the room. Grissom groaned. Pain. More pain. He had to get up and close the curtain, try to get some sleep so he was fit tonight. For work and for Sara. She had no idea how he felt, he didn't want to worry her. That was the reason why he sent her the text message after he switched off all his phones. They were a couple and he couldn't just vanish, be out of touch without telling her, everything was all right. Even when it was a lie. There was nothing she could do. Tonight he would feel better and they could have dinner together before they went to the lab. For now he needed some sleep - and a new head.


	63. post mortem

63. Post mortem (7.7)

"Thanks for being nice to Greg." Sara kissed Grissom when he opened his front door for her.

"Hello to you too, my dear. He did a good job."

"Absolutely and he isn't done."

"No, there'll be more. Is he aware of that?" Sara had been over to see Greg after she finished her shift.

"No and I didn't tell him. Couldn't. He was so glad to survive the trial, telling him, there might be more, would have been too much for him today."

"I'll tell him."

"Really? Thanks." That was nice of him, she worried about her friend.

"Whatever it takes to make my girlfriend happy and keeps the head of my CSI at his cases and not stupid trials. Now, why don't you sit down and have some lunch? After we both worked too long."

"Overtimes comes with the job, my supervisor told me once. If you don't like that, you have to call him and complain."

"I heard he's a nice guy and will understand when I tell him, you have to spend more time with me."

"I'm sure he understands." She smiled before her face turned serious again. "There will be more overtime the next weeks, won't it? At least until we found the serial killer."

"I'm afraid so." They had a new miniature and knew, the death of Izzy Delancy was only the beginning. Somebody seemed to enjoy murder as much as miniatures.

"He planed Penny Garden to die in her chair, she didn't, so he changed the miniature. Means, he had been there. He might have even helped her through the window. Had been around, watched her die, took photos to change his miniature. And he must have been there before, must have known the house. Same with Izzy Delancy. This untraceable cell phone number could be the killers number. Who do you call only one time?"

"Wrong number. Or a delivery service, that has really bad service."

"I don't believe Penny Garden dialed the same number by accident. That's too much of a coincidence."

"A number from an advertisement? We need to figure that out."

"Yeah." She looked at him. "Are you all right?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Because you seemed to be a little...different. Like something bothers you."

"No, I'm fine. Only overworked like you are." This was only half of the truth.

"Why don't you take a few days off? Get your head off work."

"Because we have a serial killer who will strike again if we don't stop him."

"Some things are more important than work."

"You are more important than work." He took her hand. "Much more important."

"So why don't you do me a favor and work less? I mean, we can't take off for a couple of days together but...you could ride a roller coaster again. Or two. It takes your head off work and might do you good."

"I'll think about it, Honey. Don't worry."

The more he said, she shouldn't worry, the more she worried. He looked tired, like he didn't sleep enough. She knew he did, they were together every day, he got all the sleep he could get. Okay, that wasn't too much but he never got more. Quite contrary, since they were together, he had more time away from the office than before. It had to be something else.


	64. Happenstance

64. Happenstance (7.8.)

"Am I late?" Grissom asked when Sara opened her apartment door.

"Depends. You missed the news and the soup but you can make it for the main course and dessert. Want to come in for it?"

"I rather come in for you." He answered. "If you want a misanthrope in your place."

"Let me think about it...I do." She pulled him inside and kissed him. "It's good to see you, I missed you today."

"It's a shame they let you wait the whole day in front of the court room and never called you in. We could have needed your help and I missed seeing you around the lab."

"The guys closed the case without me. A double murder?"

"Yes. A double murder of identical twin sisters. They didn't know each other before, the killer had no idea the woman he killed had a twin sister, so when he ran into the second one after murder the first one, he thought she came back from wherever to get him. Must have scared the hell out of him."

"Not enough to run and not to kill her."

"No, he shot the ghost. I didn't know you can shoot ghost, it never works out in the movies."

"I didn't know ghosts exist." She smiled and put a plate in front of him. "Vegan dinner, are you all right with that?" On her way back home she had stopped at a vegan take away for her dinner and got a second dish in case he came along. Well, she told him to follow her when they were in his office and she said, she won't wait up.

"It's not the food that made me come here. I came here for you and not for the dinner. There are dozen take away on the way to my place. All because of you, Dear."

"Good." She kissed him and sat down. "Greg told me Nick turned into a singer today."

"He did? I like to believe he is a CSI and not the next American Idol."

"If he continues to sing songs in the lab, sings them out loud, you might have to worry about him. Or can be proud that you were the boss of the next American Idol. Make sure to ask Mandy if he has the talent for it. He sang to her 'Mandy'. Barry Manilow is a classic."

"People in our lab seem to have a lot of fun at work. It should be a good influence on their work so I'm pleased with it. Will you sing to me one day?"

"No! I finish your cross word puzzles, that's enough."

"More than enough." He hated it when she finished his cross word puzzles. No matter if in the lab or at home. That was one thing he didn't want to share.

"In a relationship you share, Gil." Sara grinned like she read his thoughts.

"Not my cross word puzzle. I can buy you your own book with cross word puzzles, how about that? You can make yours and keep your hands off mine."

"Do I have to keep my hands off you too?" She asked coy.

"Only in the lab and at a scene. When I've to keep my hands off you."

"Something that gets more and more difficult."

"Tell me about it." He had no idea how he managed to be without Sara before. How he could get through cases without a little flirt with her. It was good to share their little secret with her, forget work every now and then and be a private person, a man whose girlfriend was with him in a room. Why not call her 'dear' or flirt with her? Even when they had to be careful, could only do it when they were alone or only send each other a meaningful look when the others were around. Knowing when he came home she was there or he could come here to see her whenever he wanted, made life much nicer. Made worth living.


	65. Loco motives

65. Loco motives (7.10)

Instead of a word as a greeting Sara hugged Grissom and pulled him into her arms when he opened his door. She knew about the video, knew he had watched Ernie Dell kill himself live. Live via a web cam on the internet.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in his ears. When he showed the team the video in the lab, she felt like pulling him into her arms, hold him and comfort him with millions of kisses.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. You saw how a man killed himself."

"He killed three other people before. And you saw the video too."

"Later. You watched him kill himself, you were there, live, saw the police."

"There must be a reason why he sent me the link to his camera, let me watch him commit suicide. It's like he made a statement and I'm supposed to figure out what he wants to tell me."

"Grissom...he wanted to give you something to think about, give you a hard time." She wished she could do something to get the pictures out of his head. They had to be there, she could only guess how it looked inside his head, how he felt. As usual, he tried not to show too many feelings.

"I'll be fine, don't worry."

"You said these words way too often the last couple of days...weeks. The more you say them, the more I worry. You look tired."

"It was a long night, I spent a lot of time with these cases, had them a lot on my mind."

She shook her head. That was too easy. The cases couldn't be the reason why he looked so tired; not the only reason. There had always been cases, this tiredness was new, it hadn't been there before. Maybe he needed a vacation, a longer one than two or three days. A week or two away from Las Vegas, the lab, the cases. Unfortunately it meant, away from her too.

"Why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

"Because I never do, that's what you made obvious last night. When you told me you let me know what you know about the chicken company. You gave me a taste of my own medicine."

"I did and it's sad you didn't learn."

"It's hard to change a habit."

"Now you've got the chance to change your habit. Tell me what is going on. What is on your mind? Can I help you?"

"No, I'll figure it out myself. Please." He caught her arm before she could turn around and walk away. Annoyed and disappointed he kept something important to himself. The same way he always did, the same way he had promised not to act anymore.

"Don't leave. Please."

"Talk to me Grissom. Stop being like...this...like..."

"Like I am? Like the person I am?"

She bit her lips. Yes, that was him. And this was the problem. Her problem with him. "Grissom...it hurts when you don't talk to me. I love you and...I want to be a part of your life."

"Sara, you not a part of my life, you are my life." He took her hands in his. "Please give me some time. To change."

"Why don't you start today?"

"I can't, I'm sorry. Right now, I'm not ready to change."


	66. Leaving Las Vegas

66. Leaving Las Vegas

I'll miss you.

Sara swallowed. These words should be comforting. He will miss her. She was on his mind, she mattered to him. Thing, she should be happy about. The problem was, she wasn't happy. Not at all. Quite the opposite, she was devastated. He left her. A sabbatical. That had been on his mind, that had been the reason why he was so strange, why he couldn't tell her what was going on. But why? Why did he not tell her? Was he afraid she'd be mad? Not understand him? Did he not trust her?

I'll miss you.

Of course he would. And she missed him already more than words could say. Her heart felt like somebody had ripped it out, threw it on the ground and trampled on it until it was broken. He broke it. No matter how hard she tried to look like she didn't care, that it was okay he left her, it wasn't. Not at all. He hurt her like he never hurt her before. They were a couple, they wanted to spend their lives together - not the way most people did because of the position they were in - but it didn't change the fact, they should talk about things like a sabbatical.

So what to do now? Call him? No, she didn't want to look desperate. He made a decision, decided, he didn't want to hear her opinion, now she had to...live with it.

* * *

I'll see you when get back.

Sara's word made him realize he made a mistake. Not the sabbatical, no, this was the right decision. It would give him new energy, gives him a chance to teach again. He liked the topic of his course, he looked forward to spend time with all the students and share his knowledge with them.

But was it worth the price? He hurt her. It was written all over her face. Hell, she had given him enough chances to talk to him, had offered him again and again to talk to him, made it easy for him. Instead of taking one of the chances he told her, he wasn't ready. Truth to be told, he was a coward. Too scared to tell her what was going on in his life.

The loud speaker announced his flight, he was supposed to make his way to the gate and get ready to be boarded soon. Time to fly to Hampshire. He took a deep breath, pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Sara's number. After the second ring he felt like ending the call which was stupid, she'd see his number on the display.

"Hey."

God, her voice made his heart jump. Right now he felt like driving back to her place, pull her into his arms and never let go of her. To hell with Hampshire and all the students. "Hey."

"You're at the airport."

"Yes, they announced my flight." What a stupid thing to say. Did he not have better things to tell her than that his plane was almost ready to take off?

"So you're going. Again." Her voice told him, she wasn't happy he called her.

"Yes..." Yes, again. But this time he's do better than in the lab. "Sara..."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier about this trip. I've been stupid and selfish."

"Yes."

Okay, he didn't deserve any better. "I'm sorry and I don't expect you to forgive me. All I want to tell you is, I'm missing you already and I...I love you."

"You should go and catch your flight, they called it again."

He sighed. This was harder than he expected it to be. She was more hurt than he expected her to be. Meant, he had to make up for his behavior with something really special. "You're right. I talk to you later."

"Have a good flight."

When he disconnected the flight he felt like was making the biggest mistake in his life.


	67. Meet Market

67. Meet Market (7.14)

"You forgot to put the letter in the parcel you sent me." Sara said when Grissom picked up his cell phone.

"I was sure you got the message without words. Did you find a nice place for your present?"

"I did. How is teaching?" It was good to hear his voice. Today was the first time since he left that they talked. Sara had been mad and sad because he left without giving her time to prepare. Then again, this was exactly Grissom. Probably he had no idea how much he hurt her until it was too late. There was a reason why he called her from the airport, when his flight was announced to be ready for boarding. It was the moment he realized he made a mistake and this was his last chance to make up for it a little bit. The parcel was another try to show her how sorry he was.

"Very good, my students are eager to learn more and I have a good time. A few days without murder feels good, makes my head free and I've been told by a student, I don't look so tired anymore."

"Was she flirting with you?"

"Who said it was a female?" He asked amused. Did Sara think of their first meeting? When she flirted with him? Right now this day came into his mind and made him smile.

"Just fishing."

"She wasn't flirting, she's a married woman."

"Even they flirt from time to time. Maybe she's married to a man who doesn't pay enough attention to her, left her to be somewhere else for a couple of weeks."

"Like somebody you know?"

"Like somebody I know."

"Do you know this person misses you a lot? Thinks of you every day and hopes to see you soon." A little confession that felt right, made him smile and picture her, pursing her lips like she was about to blow him a kiss. When she did this in the office he always felt like kissing her, no matter that their colleagues were around. Her lips, the smile she sends him, it was perfect. She was perfect and made him perfect too.

"I also miss somebody. A lot and hope he'll be back soon."

"He will." Grissom paused a moment. "Is everything all right at work?"

"The guy who's here for you is...lets say we're all happy when you're back."

"Is he that bad?"

"Not a team player, even worse than you are."

"Hey!"

"What? You don't involve us in your ideas, he shuts us out. Reverse evidence."

"Reverse evidence? What did he use this for?"

"Keppler and Catherine fabricated evidence, let us work it so their suspect felt safe. It didn't work out the way they planed and we had to go back to where CSI belongs. The guys were very mad and disappointed with Catherine."

"What about you?"

"I think she and Keppler did what they thought was right and what is right for her doesn't have to be right for me. Ask ten people about what happened at a ball game and you get ten different stories, which will be all true and right."

"Interesting answer. I'll think about it and send you to bed, you sound like you had a long night and need some sleep."

"Not as much as I needed to hear your voice."

"We'll talk again, I promise I'll call you soon."

"Don't let soon become too long."

"I won't, I promise. I love and miss you."

"Love and miss you too."


	68. Law of gravity

68. Law of gravity (7.15)

"Hey, it's..." Was all Grissom could say when he opened his door. Sara literally jumped into his arms while she closed the door at the same moment behind her and kissed him long, hard and passionately. To keep his balance he leant onto the wall and kissed her back. Who needed words? He certainly didn't, Sara's lips were all he needed.

It took them a few minutes to have enough from each others lips and tongue to have the time to speak.

"Nice smell." Grissom smirked. Sara smelled like flowers and not like a dumpster.

"Thanks, I took a shower before I came to see you."

"I'm glad you came ASAP."

"For nothing in the world I wanted to miss you a minute longer. You know it had been very hard not to fly to Hampshire and see you? I played with this idea for a couple of times, almost bought a flight ticket only to have a night with you." Was it foolish to confess to this? It was the truth, the idea of surprising him kept her awake for a while every day.

"I missed you too and I'd love to spend some time with you. Unfortunately it hadn't been good. You never know who comes from Hampshire to Vegas and tells the wrong people you were there."

"Yeah." She got out of his arms only to snuggle into them again. He was back, she had him back. They were together again. Finally her life made sense again.

"Care for some food?"

"I didn't come here for the food." She smiled. That was the last thing she had on her mind.

"No, you didn't but you also didn't eat anything for a while. I know you, Sara. Why don't you let me prepare you some breakfast, we eat, talk a little bit and after that we can go to bed."

"I hope breakfast and conversation won't take too long." She took his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. Maybe he was right and she was hungry but there was a different kind of hunger, that was stronger than the one for food.

"You have no idea how much I missed you, Sara. I'm really happy to be back - even when my return was clouded by Keppler's death. He might have made a mistake but he didn't deserve to die." Grissom looked out of the window for a moment. He had known the man for only a couple of hours but he felt sorry for Catherine, who seemed to become close to him.

"No, he didn't."

"You weren't a fan of him."

"To say something different only because he's dead would be a lie. No, I wasn't a fan. He mishandled evidence. Whatever happened in Philadelphia, he didn't act the way he was supposed to."

"Neither are we."

"We don't mishandle evidence, we don't risk that a lot of convicted people will set free because we're having a relationship. It's against lab policy, I know, but we don't harm anybody. I can't say you treat me better than the other guys. This way or the other I had ended up in dumpster today."

"Yes."

"Ecklie might not be happy if he ever finds out, but there are no reasons to fear any of the work we did, will not stand up in court. And that's what count." She pulled of the plug of the toaster to get the bread, put a slice of cheese between them, got his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen. "Light breakfast today. We can eat on our way to your bedroom." She bit of a piece of toast and offered him the rest. Why waste your time more than you had to on food? Or work? Right now the only thing she cared for was him. And celebrating their reunion.


	69. monster in a box

69. Monster in a box (7.16)

"I keep asking myself if we could have stopped the miniature killer when I had opened the parcel earlier. I avoided my desk and the paper work on it for a few days. Maybe with more time to prepare, we could have stopped two people from dying." Grissom didn't stop pacing up and down in front of the diner. Sara, who leant on her car, watched him. They met here to get their thoughts off work before going home. It looked like it didn't work out the way they planed. Not for Grissom and she was quite tensed herself.

"You know there was no way to stop the killer."

"How do you know? Maybe we had found out about the carbon monoxide. With more time, the chance to search the apartment from side to side, turned everything inside out and upside down. There was a chance." He stopped.

"Gil." She stopped herself from walking over, taking his hand and pulling him into her arms. This place was way too public to be close to him. "We both agree on that the miniature killer is obsessive with the miniature and the murder. Even when we had managed to find out how he planed to kill Tallman, he had found another way. Like with Penny Garden, when the planed murder doesn't happen, he will help and adjust the miniature to it."

Grissom thought about her words. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"I am right, you know it. Why don't we get inside the diner, have some coffee, eat a little bit and go home afterwards? We both need to get our mind away from the case for a few hours. Otherwise we'll burn out and never catch our killer." Her voice was soft and firm at the same time. Most times he was her bridge over troubled water, today she had to be his.

"Okay." With something that could look like a smile he thanked her and opened the door for her. Coffee, some breakfast and his mind would run better. Maybe good enough for a couple of more hours in the lab - even when Sara won't like the idea.

With their coffee they walked to their table and waited for their breakfasts.

"The new evidence...is it still all right for you to work the case?" He asked.

"Sure, why shouldn't it?"

"Because of your past, being a foster child. We have to look at foster children, will hear a lot of prejudice."

"It's not my first case that involves fosters and it won't be the last. I'm fine with the case, no need for you to worry. But thanks." Her past came up often at work, it wasn't a nice past, a lot of violence, a lot of disappointments and that were exactly the things her cases were made of.

"Okay. If not let me know, we'll work something out."

"Thanks. How are you handling Ecklie and all the important people above him?"

"I try to ignore them, they make it hard to ignore them. We were right about keeping the miniatures away from the press, as the last case had shown, they will be used by copy cat killer."

"Honestly I don't believe somebody will be as precisely as our killer is. A perfect half-inch scale, you have to be very talented to get this done. It's not like making a model of a car."

"True. A patient and talented killer. Makes him more dangerous." And very likely to strike again. So far they hadn't found a way to stop him. Until a few days ago, they were sure the miniature killer was dead, there was no reason to worry about the cases anymore. Now they had to start from the beginning.

"He's good but we're better." Sara said. The entire CSI and LVPD was after the killer, sooner or later they'd get him.

"I hope you're right Dear. I really do."


	70. Fallen idiols

70. Fallen idols (7.17)

Sara let her finger run over Grissom's cheek. Soft and smooth. The beard was gone and all what was left his skin. It wasn't like she didn't like him having a beard but without it, she had a much better look on his face.

"Feels good."

"Do you want to shave me every day, Sara?" He pulled her in his arms and closed his eyes. This felt good too. They in his bed, arm in arm, no textile or anything between them. The whole world seemed to be in his arms - at least all the mattered to him was.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" There was mock in her voice and also some sadness. They couldn't move in, it was impossible. As soon as they shared an address the lab would know about them, know about their relationship and separate them - at their place of work. And for people, who spend between twelve and sixteen hours at work, it meant they would barely see each other - especially when they had to work different hours.

"If there was a way we could make it happen without all the consequences I'd asked you a while ago." He kissed her hair.

"Being us sucks sometimes."

He laughed a bit. "I wouldn't say being us sucks, being in our work position sucks. I don't want you to change to a different shift. You belong to me and my team. Without it's not complete. I am not complete without you."

She turned to kiss him and snuggle into his arms. "I don't want to change shifts neither. You're the reason why I came to Vegas, leaving graveyard shift means two thirds of my life will be without you - maybe even more. I'm not willing to pay this price."

"We keep our places and visit each other, hope nobody notices. A hidden life."

"Yeah, sometimes I feel like we're doing something really bad, when we have to hide like criminals. We don't break the law, we're in love."

"Our love is inconsistent with the policy of the lab. You should have thought about that before you fell for your supervisor. Don't tell me you didn't know the consequences."

"I did." Sara had to chuckle when she remembered a moment of her last case. "You know, I told Warrick about a boyfriend I had in college, who obviously had a different understanding of monogamy than I and most other people have, and he said, he hopes my taste in men has changed since then."

"Being a misanthrope..." He squeezed her hand to make it obvious to her he remembered the night in the lab, when she talked about his cross word puzzle and him. "..relationships aren't my expertise but I think, your taste in men has changed. For a better."

"I like to think so too. You don't strike me as a guy, who had a busy van in high school."

"No. Disappointed?"

"Not at all. After a few...less nice experiences with men, I'm really happy I'm with you. You know, when you become a womanizer I know a million ways to kill a man and will get away with it because I know how to let evidence disappear."

"Oh Sara, you always know nice words and stories to make me feel comfortable and safe for the night."

"Just saying."

"Good to know you don't believe I cheat on you. Why should I? You're the one I want, you're the best, why take up with the second best?"

"You're not supposed to." She kissed him softly. No, she didn't fear he's cheat on her. Grissom was a man she could trust. Like he trusted her with his life. Intimately.


	71. Empty eyes

71. Empty eyes (7.18)

Sara's breath was still far away from being stable and every now and then a tear rolled down her cheeks. Why did this always happen to her? Why got she always involved in cases that got into her? Why did she always end up with victims who got into her? Who were alive when she saw them the first time. First Pamela, the woman who was raped and left to die on a street and was since that day in coma. For over six years. Sara knew was in touch with her husband. Now Cammie. A young showgirl, a mother, who died in her arms.

At least she died not alone, with a kind person. Words, that were supposed to comfort her. Unfortunately they didn't. Too big was her sadness, too much was she disgusted by herself. She held the hand of the man, who killed all those young women. Because he was rejected, no, he felt rejected. To get his ego back to old shape he killed six innocent women, who never hurt anybody, who were kind women.

Life wasn't fair. It sucked big time!

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Grissom took her hand. He asked himself this question since they left the lab, where Sara cried in front of the TV. It had been hard not to pull her into his arms and comfort her. All he could do was catching a tear, get his arm around her waist and walk her out - to his place.

"No. All I need is some time." She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "You must be used to see me crying by now, I did it too often since I'm here. And I always end up sympathize too much with the victim. Especially when they're still alive."

"You're human." He accused himself for calling her in. It had been her night off, why did he call her? If he had not called her, she'd okay now. But no, he called her, of course they needed her at the scene but a part of him wanted her around. They had planed a date and cancelled it because he was called in - and then called her in.

"The next time you have a night off, switch off all your phone so you can't be called in. Your supervisor has to learn, on your nights off you're not available."

"You called me in because you needed me, Grissom. It's not your fault."

"I cancelled our date, I got you into the house, I sent you to the room. It's as much my fault as it's your fault. You did what you could do, Sara. You had no choice to save her life."

"I know." In her head she knew it, in her heart there were so many questions. The famous 'what if' questions. What if she had been there earlier? What if she had found Cammie sooner? What if she had been able to do anything to save her life?

"She helped us catching her killer, the same man who killed her five friends."

"Yeah." And it took her a while to understand her, to make sense to what Cammie tried to tell her when she died in Sara's arms. They caught the killer, justice was served. It didn't bring any one of the six women back, didn't make them alive and as it was for Finn, Cammie's daughter...if she ever wanted to find out who her real mother was, she'd end up on a graveyard and learn, her mother was killed.

"Sometimes I get tired of our job. Do you too?" She looked at him, into his sad eyes.

"Yes." Grissom nodded. "I do."

"What keeps you going?"

"The thought of how many more innocent people have to die when we don't find the killer, rapists, burglar. The police need CSI to give them the information they need to arrest all those men and women, who hurt others. Without us they can't do their job. Without us everything gets worse and the bad ones win. I don't want them to win. Do you?"

"No." Sara took his hand. "We'll get through it." He knew she meant more than the case.

"Together." His lips met hers and for a second Sara forgot the world, kissing him. Only he could take her head off work and make her dark world a little bit brighter.


	72. Lab rats

72. Lab rats (7.20)

"How often did Hodges surprised you?"

"Too often. Thanks." Sara took the coffee Grissom handed her over. They were back in the dinner, back at their old table and waited for the rest of their breakfast.

"Let me rephrase my question: how often did Hodges surprise you in a positive way?"

"Once? Maybe twice. Why?"

"He surprised me. It looks like while we were working on our cases he, Wendy, Mandy, Henry and Archie were busy studying the miniature killer cases. Believe it or not, they found out something new, something that might help us finding the killer or at least narrow the area down, where he lives, works and looks for his victims."

"Seriously?" Sara forgot for a second to close her mouth. Hodges managed to do something useful? Besides his work, he was great in his job, no doubt about it, but when it came to the rest of his life and his behavior...something positive was rare.

"Yes. Bleach. In all cases was bleach involved. The killer could be triggered by it, it's called delusional psychosis."

"We can check with hospitals and therapists if they have patients that suffer from this disorder and are triggered by bleach. When other lives are at risk the doctor patient confidentially doesn't work anymore." Sara was excited. Was this the break? Did Hodges break the case this time? It sounded crazy, unusual and somehow not possible but...maybe he surprised her in a very positive way today. And the rest of the lab. You never know.

"I sent a request out already."

"Good." Now this was a boost, she felt like going back to the lab and work on the miniature killer case, wait for the first answers and continue the hunt of the serial killer.

"We won't go back to the lab until tonight." Grissom read her thoughts.

"Why not?"

"Because we need some sleep."

"Talking about sleep, Hodges told Wendy the miniature killer cases keeps you awake all night, you confided that to him and she wanted to know from me, if that's true."

"And what did you say?" He smiled, knowing the question had irritated her.

"How am I supposed to know? And if she really believed that you would confide to him about anything? She admitted I was right and it was a stupid thing to think it could be true."

"Truth is, the cases kept us both awake a couple of nights and days while we weren't at work. Not that Wendy has to know about this."

"No, not all." She smiled and sent a grateful smile to the waitress who put their breakfast in front of them. Fresh eggs on toast, orange juice and a little fruit salad.

"There are other things that keeps me away from sleep and I like them much more than my cases. Or to be more specific, there is one person, who keeps me away from sleep."

"Who might that be?" Sara cocked her head. "Want Hodges to make an educated guess?"

"No, I want him out of my private life - in every way."

"Wow, we want the same thing." Her eyes told him this was not only about Hodges.

"Well, we should eat and go home. Before...the breakfast is cold and we miss out precious time to...sleep. You know, as a nightshift person you don't spend enough time in bed."

"That's what I thought yesterday. I might have to ask my supervisor to give me a night off so I can get all the...sleep I need."

"Thursday is a good day I heard. He's out of the lab then too."

"What a nice coincidence. Request for a night off is asked right now."

"And it's approved right now." His foot found hers under the table. A night off together was exactly what they needed now. Get some energy for the hunt of the serial killer and give each other the power for more long nights. Nothing could refill his batteries as good as Sara did.


	73. Ending happy

73. Ending happy (7.21.)

"I shot an arrow into the air, It fell to earth, I knew not where; For so swiftly it flew, the sight Could not follow it in its flight. I breathed a song into the air, It fell to earth, I knew not where; For, who has sight so keen and strong That it can follow the flight of song? Long, long afterward, in an oak I found the arrow, still unbroken; And the song, from beginning to end, I found again in the heart of a friend." Sara sat down on Grissom's lap."Longfellow. What makes you quote him?" Grissom asked."Our case. You remember the old man, who told us his wife was shot?"

"Yes, she died years ago."

"And yet, she was shot the night of the murder. With an arrow. Milton found an arrow in her photo. He started to quote this poem, Nick interrupted him, he told him we young people don't no anything about poetry and I finished the poem before I left and told him to keep the faith." She smiled, knowing her finishing the poem had made Milton happy.

"It pays off you read a lot of books. You always impress people."

"Your book, I found it in one of your book shelves. Poems have their own beauty.""Well, we were at a place with a lot of beautiful people, a lot of beautiful women and as far as I can tell, the most beautiful one was the one, who arrived with me at the scene and sits now here with me, in my condo." He kissed her softly. "The one who makes me happy. Very happy."

"I must say it surprised me you never visit a place where you pay for sex. As a customer. Somehow I believed all men end up in a place like this sooner or later."

"Sorry to disappoint you. As I told you, sex without love is pointless, it makes you sad."

"You didn't disappoint me. Quite contrary." She kissed him. "Thanks for telling me I make you happy."

"It's the truth." He placed his head on her shoulder. "You bring a lot of happiness in my life, Sara. You are the happiness of my life."

"Just for the record, I also never paid for sex and never took money for it." She smiled.

"I didn't expect you to do so. And after the last case we know it's healthier to stay away from those places, you get shot, hit with a crow bar, suffer an allergic reaction, poisoned, and drown in the pool. Reminds me of Rasputin."

"Who had an affair with the wife of the Tsar, like Happy had with Blinky's wife and both were great fighter. The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself."

"From Longfellow to ABBA. You are an amazing woman, my Love." He smiled. Plus she knew a lot about history. Wasn't she the perfect woman?

"You know, it was the first time we talked about our relationship outside your or my place or the diner. The first time we talked about us at a scene, with other people around. Not that they heard what we said but...it felt good. Although when the girl called you 'honey' I felt like scratching out her eyes."

"Jealousy doesn't suit you, Sara. You know better. And as I said, the most beautiful woman is with me. Only with me and not with another man every night. Or other men."

"So you're into box fights but not into cat fights."

"No, call me old fashioned but I believe, women are far too beautiful to end up beaten up. And your head is way too smart end up as a punching ball. If you want to impress me, keep up with poetry and history. Brain is sexier than brawn."

"That fits also on men. Intelligent is very sexy." She blinked at him and got her arms around his neck. "And you're very, very sexy, Gilbert."


	74. Leaping Lizard

74. Leaping Lizard (7.22)

"When I ask you again if you believe there's intelligent life on other planets and the cynical Sara, who answered this questions already, will give way for the scientist Sara, what will be your answer?" Grissom sat down on his bed. Wasn't it perfect to come into your bedroom after a long day at work and find your girlfriend sitting there, eating a yogurt and watch old movies. He could get used to this. No, he was already used to have her around.

"There's no evidence of intelligent life on other planets and I believe, if they exist, they're smart enough not to be found by us. Knowing mankind, the first thing so called scientists will do is sticking needles in them, doing cruel tests and make them suffer. Like mankind did all the time with things, they didn't know. Nobody takes the time to get to know something in a soft and non hurting way. Aliens, or whatever you want to call them, will know this, and stay away from us, watch us from wherever and wonder, why we destroy our planet."

"You don't think aliens are our enemies? Will overtake the planet?"

"Why should they? Like I said, we destroy our planet every day a little bit more, why stay here and watch the earth go down? Why bother with humans, who aren't smart."

"Who's the misanthrope now?" He teased softly, ignoring the loud screams from the TV screen where Godzilla fought with an army of angry men.

"Am I right or not?" She turned off the sound of the TV and slipped down so she laid on the bed. When he was around there was no reason for an old movie.

"Partly. Some people try to safe the planet and not destroy it. Do you consider yourself as an intelligent human being?"

"Maybe I'm a...what did they call the aliens? Reptile? Why are always reptiles the bad ones? They aren't disgusting or anything and very amazing animals."

"I agree and I don't think you're a reptile. If you are, I'm in your power and am quite happy about it."

"Because I make you happy."

"You do." He smiled softly, bent over and kissed her.

"What are you doing in your office all the time? Don't tell me you're working."

"No, I'm...creating something."

"Like what?"

"A miniature. Of my office."

"Seriously? Why?"

"I want to find out how it feels to create a perfect half-inch scale miniature of something, want to find out, how many information you need about the place, how long it takes. These information can help us with our cases. Would you like to see it?"

"Sure." She got up and followed him into his home office. The incomplete miniature of his office sat on the table. Quietly she watched it, watched the details. It was amazing and scary at the same time. His miniature looked like the ones they had in the lab. For a moment there was fear in her, fear his office could be a crime scene, he the victim.

"I can understand why you do it but it scares me. Makes me think of you and your office being the next crime scene. And I don't want you to be the next victim, Gil." She took his hand and pulled him closer. Did the room just turn colder?

"Don't worry, I won't be the next victim, why should I?"

"You shouldn't." She looked at the miniature again. "Lets leave it here and go back to your bedroom. Maybe you can tell me why you never sent the letter, that was in the book next to your bed. I thought it's cute and it made me smile."

He blushed when he realized which letter she was talking about. "You know me. There are a lot of good intentions, unfortunately I can't make them work all the times."

"Why don't you read the letter out for me, it will be like you sent it." Sara smiled. To hear the words he wrote from him would make the letter even more special.


	75. The good, the bad and the dominatrix

75. The good, the bad and the dominatrix (7.23)

How do you apologize when you did the right thing but it turned out to look like you did the opposite? How could you make somebody believe you, when you hurt her feelings? When you never told her things, she should know, so she had a reason to believe you. Keeping your life to your own, leaving people out of your private life gave you the chance to live in peace but when you decided you don't want to be alone anymore and share your life with somebody, all these secrets from your past could destroy the relationship you were in.

A plant wouldn't do it this time, Grissom knew it when he knocked on Sara's door. Of course he could have used his key but he wanted to give her the chance to let him stay outside. There was a peephole in her door, she could see it was him, who knocked and decide, if she was ready to see him, talk to him. Let him do the talk and explanation. Was he ready to explain his behavior to her? And the whole truth, he kept away from her for all those years?

When the door was opened Sara didn't say a word, only looked at him. He saw pain in her eyes. Pain, he caused. It was his responsibility that his girlfriend felt bad.

"May I come in?"

"If you have no better place to stay." Her voice was supposed to stay cold but it was unsteady. Instead of stepping aside to let him in, she turned and walked away from him. Grissom swallowed and followed her into the living room and was relived when he saw no empty bottles around or any other signs of self destructive behavior.

"Sara, I'm sorry."

"What for? No wait, I think I don't want to hear it. I'm sick of hearing men say they're sorry."

Did she really believe he cheated on her? That he had been with Heather for any other reason than a friendly support? Okay, it could look like this when you didn't know the whole story, didn't know about their...relationship...but Sara should know he loved her. "I didn't... I did never betrayed you, Sara. Yes, I was with Heather but as a friend. Only to make sure she's fine. Nothing else."

When she turned and looked at him he could see, it was hard for her to believe his words. "So you said already."

"I know...maybe I should say things I haven't said."

"Like if you slept with her before. Catherine is quite sure about it, also that Heather is exactly the woman you're after and her arguments sounded pretty convincing."

"I did sleep with Heather, years ago. After I met her for the first time and yes, we are still close. I was there for her when her daughter was found dead and...we are friends. Nothing more. I stayed with her to make sure she doesn't hurt herself. As we found out, she wanted to give Oakley another chance to kill her, she had sold her life and transferred the money to the account of her granddaughter. When her daughter was killed, the court denied her to see her granddaughter, Alison, she saw no reason to continue her life. I felt guilty for not taking care of her after we found Zoe. As a friend, I should have so I tried to make up this time by saving her. But I never crossed the friendship line. Never.

I was wrong not tell you where I was and why I was there, it was wrong not to tell you about her and me, what kind of relationship we had and what we have now. I caused you pain, I made you sad and I'm very sorry for it. But I never betrayed you. I love you, Sara, only you." He took a deep breath, looked at her, hoped for some signs she understood him, understood his words and realized, he loved her and nobody else. And was faithful.

"You hurt me, Grissom."

"I know."

"Never do that again."

"I won't, I promise." He stepped towards her, took carefully her hands and pulled her in his arms to hold her. Her resistance, that was there first, vanished and was replaced by tears. Holding on to each other, they both cried, realizing they almost lost themselves.


	76. Living doll

76. Living doll (7.24)

"Where is Sara?" Grissom felt like shaking the answer out of Nathalie, felt like choking her to get the answer he wanted. Needed. Where was Sara? His lover was somewhere in the desert, it was raining, a huge thunderstorm hit Las Vegas and the area around and put Sara's life even more at risk as it was anyway.

Frustrated he left the interrogation room. There was no point in continuing the interview with Nathalie, she was in her own world, repeating an old song over and over again. They had no chance to get her, to her attention and make her answer the most important question.

Where was Sara?

She had to be alive, the miniature were obsessively correct and the little doll of Sara moved her hand. Meant, his lover was alive, was somewhere, waiting for him to find her, help her, safe her life. While he was in the lab and had no idea where to look for her. A car in the desert. This was Las Vegas, the city was build in the middle of the desert, Sara could be everywhere.

"We'll find her." Brass came into the office, he looked as worried as Grissom did. "I've all officers out looking for her."

"There's so much rain, Jim and a big area to cover." He knew he had to stay strong, had to fight. When he gave up now, he lost Sara and he couldn't lose her. He loved her.

"You never asked why she took Sara." Grissom looked up, realizing his old friend didn't ask the question his team wondered about until he gave them an answer, not bothering with further explanation. Not they needed them, he had been clear.

"No need to, I know why. I knew for a while."

"You never said a word."

"Neither did you or Sara and it doesn't matter, Gil. What matters is, we'll find her. We'll do everything to find her and get her back to you. Remember two years ago when I was shot and my life dangled on a string? You were there for me, now I'll be there for you and Sara." Jim's hand found its way for a second on Grissom's shoulder, comforted him.

"She's all I have, Jim, all I'm living for. When I lose her, I'll lose myself."

"We'll find her. We'll find her."

* * *

Darkness. Pain. Wetness. A headache. More pain. the strange sound of rain on metal, way too close to comfort. The underground was wet, this wasn't a dream, wasn't her bed. Sara wasn't sure where she was, what had happened, but she knew, it wasn't good.

Slowly she came out of unconsciousness. Right away a sharp pain in her arm made her realize she was stuck under something heavy. A second later she knew it was a car. Why was she under a car? What did...Nathalie! She got abducted by the miniature killer. Nathalie got her in the car park of the department and placed her under the car. Where was she? It was impossible to have a look around, all she saw was the car. Upside down, on top of her.

Darkness and rain, more and more rain. She had to get out of here, the rain started to bank up under the car, at one point she would be under the surface and then...then she became a part of the miniature killer cases. So far all the miniatures were complete, all people died and they had never been able to stop or safe somebody. Even when they knew who was supposed to die and when. There had always been a tiny little thing they didn't see, didn't know of and it let Nathalie win.

Sara remembered Grissom's miniature, how it scared her, made her fear, he could be the next victim and she'd lose him. Now she was the next victim and he was about to lose her and there was nothing she could do about it. She was stuck under the car, helpless, injured. Waiting for her lover and her team to save her - or for the rain to kill her.


	77. Dead doll

77. Dead doll (81.1)

Some people were sure they died and were reborn again, got a second chance to live a new life. Grissom felt almost the same. When he saw Sara in the desert, down, not responding to him or the doctors, he felt like his life was over. Then, in the helicopter, when she opened her eyes, he felt like he got a second chance. A second chance for him and her.

After a night sitting next to her bed in Desert Palms he refused to leave her side for a minute. Whatever the lab and his bosses wanted, they had to wait. The only priority he had was Sara, she was the only one he cared for. Until she hadn't talked to him, until he wasn't sure she was fine, he would stay here, hold her hand and wait.

"Gil." Her voice sounded like she swallowed a gallon of dry desert sand. But it was her voice and it got his attention back into reality, back to her, his lover. She looked at him, she was conscious. Immediately he took the cup of water with the straw and let her drink. Grateful Sara emptied to cup, closed her eyes for a second before she looked at him again.

"You're awake."

"Yeah..." She wanted to say more but couldn't.

"Don't. Don't talk too much, you need to rest. Shall I give you some more water?"

Sara nodded. She was thirsty. The cup of water she just drank felt like it was nothing. Her body was desperate for liquid. He got her a new cup and when she finished this one, he filled it up again so she had more water in case she got thirsty again.

"I'm so glad you're alive." Tears were in his eyes, he fought with himself to stay strong. Don't lose it in front of her eyes, she had been strong for him, now he had to strong for her.

"Bad weeds grow tall."

"You're not bad weed, you're the most amazing woman I've ever met."

"I survived the miniature killer...do you have her?"

"Yes. Yes, she's in custody, she can't hurt you anymore. Or anybody else."

"I knew you'd find me." Actually it were Nick and Sofia who found her but there was enough time for the details later. It didn't matter who found Sara, what mattered was, she was found and would be fine. Right now she looked pretty beaten up with all the scratches in her face, over her arm, the infusions in her, the machine next to her that made a steady sound, telling him all her vitals were all right. A good sound.

"We were all looking for you."

"I...I managed to get out of the car...the water...it helped..."

"Don't, Honey. You don't have to tell me now, save your energy. We found the car, your vest, your stones. It was very clever to leave the stones for us so we could follow you. I always knew you're the smartest woman I've ever met. And the bravest." Hell, she had been through so much. As a child and as an adult. In the eight years she was in Las Vegas, her life hadn't been easy, but all the time she managed to get back on her feed and continue to fight. Such a brave and strong woman, his girlfriend.

"The team knows about us. I had to tell them, had to tell them why Nathalie abducted you."

"Doesn't matter. Sooner or later they had found out anyway."

"Yes, they're clever."

"What will happen now?"

"We'll see. Don't worry about it, everything will be fine. We're together, we'll stay together. That's the only thing that matters."

"I love you." Sara closed her eyes. She was exhausted, so tired and couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

"I love you too, Sara. More than you can imagine." He bent over and kissed her softly. And then he couldn't stop his tears anymore.


	78. A la cart

78. A la cart (8.2.)

Her team, her old team. Long after they went home the pictures of her friends enjoying the afternoon with the carts were in Sara's head. Her friends. When she came back to work they wouldn't work cases anymore together. Yes, she and Grissom had discussed he'd move to swing shift but she didn't want the team to have a new supervisor because of her. It was better for all of them when she changed shifts. One way or the other, the change meant there was less quality time for her and Grissom.

At least they could live in one condo now. Everybody knew about her and him, there was no reason anymore to have two places. Because their condos had been for only one person, they moved into a bigger one. So many changes and Sara wasn't sure if there weren't more about to come and how many she could manage.

"Hey, dinner is ready." Grissom's head popped into the bedroom. When he saw Sara on their bed a soft smile appeared on his face.

"Thanks." She got up, took his hand and kissed him. With only one arm it was hard to do anything, sometimes she felt very helpless.

"My pleasure." They could have dinner together, in their place before they had to go to work. Sara could stay home a little bit longer and he loved the fact that she was there when he came home. They were a little family, living in one place and enjoying their time together.

"Wow!" She looked at the food that was on two plates on the table. "You cooked..."

"Exactly what we had for dinner nine years ago in San Francisco, when you asked me out. I...I changed your t-bone steak to a vegetarian steak, the rest is the same."

"You're cute!" She kissed him. He rearranged their first dinner date. If anybody had told her nine years ago they'd end up in Vegas, as a happy couple, she hadn't believed this person. All her life she had the feeling she wasn't entitled to be happy, wasn't entitled to happiness.

"I thought, I can't heal your physical wounds I try to give you some nice memory." Softly he let his finger run over all the scratches in her face. The evidence of the night under the car and the abduction was still visible on her face, it would take some time until there was nothing left. Same with the arm and probably even longer with the psychological scars.

"Will you cook for me every night?"

"Until you have to work, don't forget, your shifts starts at four, you won't be here for dinner. We need to meet for breakfast."

"Well, we've some experience in meeting for breakfast." Sara smirked. Their breakfast meetings. The first steps to their relationship.

"And we don't have to hide anymore, don't have to worry if somebody sees us. After we had our conversation with Ecklie, we're outed and - kind of - accepted."

"Nine years, two years...I told him it was a Sunday...a shame I couldn't see his face when you told him we're involved since nine years."

"He was quite annoyed."

"Yeah, when I told him we always had a relationship he didn't like the answer neither."

"That's why we have to get our story straight."

"We met nine years ago, started to have a relationship and two years ago the relationship changed into a love relationship. Even when in the seven years before there had be no other man for me."

"What about this..."

"Forget him, a stopgap to get my mind a little bit of you. What about Heather?"

"An attempt to get my head off you, we weren't allowed to be together, it could ruin all we worked for. I didn't want you or me to give up our job, we both need it."

"Now we're together and have our jobs. Not the way like before we'll manage. I rather change shifts than lose you." She bent over and kissed him. Being with Grissom was more important than anything else.


	79. Go to hell

79. Go to hell (8.3)

"How was your first day at swing shift?" Grissom gave Sara a cold lemonade.

"Thanks. I had worse days." She sipped on her drink and looked over the railing of their balcony. From here they had a great view over the city to the hills. One of the advantages of their new place, a balcony with view. In their condos before they never needed one, now, after promising each other to become more domestic, spending more time at home, they had no reason not make their home as nice as possible.

"Sounds like you are not that happy with the new shift. And your new colleagues."

"Ronnie is okay...she asks a lot of questions, more than one person can answer. I told her she had twenty questions per case to stop her. And she didn't want to investigate cops only for a dead homeless man. I suggested she should rethink her job decision."

"She'll learn, she has a great teacher now." He smiled and took her hand. "I miss you. It's not the same without you. All the time I find myself looking for you, wonder where you are and have to stop me from calling you and ask you, where you are."

"Same here. It's strange not to report to you anymore. My new supervisor is okay but with you it was special. Not only because of our relationship, you have your own way of leading a team and I like that way. You trust your people, let them work and don't question their actions."

"There was no reason to question your action, I knew you knew what you did. I could trust you. Like I still can."

"I wonder if we ever work a case together again." It scared her how much she missed working with him. So many times she had been close to call him to update him on her case, ask how he was and if he needed some help with his case. So strange to be in different teams.

"Maybe. If we do, there'll be a lot of watch dogs."

"Yeah, Ecklie will be first in line. I bet he enjoyed splitting us up. Like he did three years ago. Only this time he separated us and we have no chance to make him change his mind, the lab policy is on his side."

"He can't do anything against us being together after work. You know, with you on a different shift, we can go on holidays together. After all these years of hiding, we can book our vacation together, go away like any other couple and have a week or two somewhere nice. Away from murder and crime scenes."

"We don't go on a beetle hunt, do we?"

He laughed. "No, we collect them."

"Gil...as much as I support your hobby...that's not what I want for my vacation." Especially not for their first vacation together. She wanted something more romantic.

"Not?" Grissom chuckled. "Wait, I remember, you wanted beach, surfer and sunshine. I don't want my girlfriend drooling at young surfer."

"Who said I want beach and surfer?"

"You, a few years ago. When Catherine and Warrick were in Miami and you asked me why I didn't sent you and joined you there. That's the reason, I didn't want you surrounded by young surfer. They look much better in short than I do."

Sara laughed. He remembered their conversation? After all these years. "I don't care about surfer, I care about my scientist boyfriend, who collects beetles and bees. I'm glad you didn't put them on our balcony."

"No, too close to comfort, I found them a nice home and we'll have some honey for breakfast for us in a few weeks. A romantic breakfast in bed." He squeezed her hand.


	80. The case of the cross-dressing carp

80. The case of the cross-dressing carp (8.4)

Sara woke up the moment the front door was closed. Immediately she jumped out of bed, stormed into the hallway and ended up in Grissom's arms, kissing him passionately.

"Say it again."

"What?" He struggled to keep his balance after this surprised happy greeting of his girlfriend.

"What you said last afternoon, when we were with the bees."

Grissom smirked. "I'm sorry you got stung."

"Oh, come on!" She bopped his side. He knew exactly what she wanted to hear, knew exactly what she was talking about. The only reason why he played dumb was to tease her.

"Usually they don't do that."

"Gilbert Grissom, if you don't repeat your question of last afternoon right now I'll change my answer! Do you want to risk that?" Her finger stabbed his chest.

"You can't change it, it was a promise."

"No, not a promise yet. Say it again!"

"Maybe we should get married. What do you think?"

"Yes." She smiled, pulled his head to her and kissed him again passionately. This was much better. No protection suit, nothing that stopped them from kissing each other. He couldn't ask her to marry him and they weren't able to kiss. Okay, they kissed after they took off the suit but that wasn't the same. She wanted to be asked and get her kiss straight after her answer.

"Are you happy now?"

"Since you asked me the first time I can barely stop grinning. Even Hodges saw I had a pretty good day. In fact, it was the best day in my life so far."

"Tell me about it, when Catherine asked me what I'm up to, I thought for a moment you told her about my proposal."

"Me? No. Why would I tell her we'll get married? I never told her we're together."

"You know at one point they'll find out - like with our relationship. I only hope this time it will be a happy circumstance, maybe a dinner with them. Do you want to get married in Las Vegas? Or somewhere else?"

"Uhm...honestly I never thought about that. I mean, we're in Vegas, million of people come here to get married, we could squeeze it between shifts or in a break, a drive through wedding like Warrick had..."

"I beg your pardon?" In high dudgeon he looked at her. Was she serious? A drive through wedding? That wasn't their style and he didn't ask her to marry him to have Elvis or an Alien tell them they were now husband and wife. No, that was something he wouldn't make a compromise in. He wanted a real wedding and not a...when he saw how much Sara tried to hide a wide grin he realized she was mocking him.

"I believed you."

"I know, that made it even better." She hugged and kissed him. "Don't worry, I don't want a Vegas style wedding. That's not your or my style."

"Thanks. Do we need witnesses to our marriage? Do you want somebody special there? Like Greg, who spent his time off on a crime scene with you."

"Yes, I want Greg around. And the rest of the team. They're our family."

"True." He smiled. What a day. He really asked Sara to marry him. How often did he practice this question the last couple of days? A few dozen times a day, always waiting for the perfect moment. What exactly made the afternoon the perfect moment, he had no idea, all he knew, it felt right to ask her. His most important question he ever asked and the most feared answer he ever got. Luckily everything worked out perfect.


	81. Who and what

81. Who and what (8.6)

"Hey." Grissom let his hand run softly over Sara's left arm when he found her on the balcony, watching the sunrise. "It's too early to be awake." The cup of coffee next to her looked like it had been there for a while, untouched, the liquid cold.

"You're awake."

"Not by choice." He sat down, his eyes on her. Something wasn't right. For a few weeks he had the feeling his fiancé was sad, that there was something, that haunted her. First he thought she might be scared of the wedding - not that they had made any plans about it. Since he asked her to marry him, no further plans had been taken. And he didn't have the feeling it had anything to do with the wedding, she was happy when he asked, really happy. No, the sad eyes, the still moments happened when she thought about work, when she was at scenes. Like the last one they worked together, the reason why he came back home now, at five in the morning. The first flight from New York to Las Vegas.

"Have you been here all night?"

"No. Did you find the kid?"

"Yes. And Terry is dead."

"Good." Her eyes were still on the city, she never looked at him.

"Sara." He sat down next to her, his hand still holding hers. "What's wrong?"

"So many things, that's why we never run out of work."

"I don't mean with the work, I mean with you."

"I don't know, Gil. I'm tired."

He doubted she was tired because she barely slept last night. Sara was used to sleep fewer hours than most people did. There were days when he wondered if she slept at all.

"Why don't we go to bed? You've a few more hours before your next shifts starts and I don't have to be in the lab before eight tonight."

"I'm not tired because I don't sleep...I'm sick of having my face shoved in death every day. It gets worse and worse, no matter what we do. We work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and can't make any positive difference. I've been here for eight years and each year the murder rate gone up, no matter how much I work."

"If we stop working we give them no reason to stop."

"Even when we work we don't give them a reason to stop."

"Are you saying you don't want to work as a CSI anymore?" It sounded impossible. Sara had always loved her job, there was a time when her life was nothing else than her job, when he told her, to get a life outside work. Now it looked like she wanted a life without work, or at least without the work she did for all those last years.

"I've no idea." Sara sighed. She was beyond the point of knowing what she wanted. Everything in her felt empty, like there was nothing to fill her up with joy or hope. "We should go to bed."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Grissom pulled her in his arms when she got up. Helpless, he felt so helpless. Like he watched a disaster coming closer and closer and was unable to run away or stop it.

"No, I've to figure out myself what's wrong before I can ask you to help me. You can't cure what you don't know." She kissed him shortly on the lips, turned and left the balcony.


	82. Goodbye and good luck

82. Goodbye and good luck (8.7.)

Gil, you know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever. Lately, I haven't been feeling very well. Truth to be told, I'm tired. Out in the desert, under that car that night, I realized something, and I haven't been able to shake it. Since my father died, I've spent almost my entire life with ghosts. We've been like close friends, and out there in the desert, it occurred to me that it was time for me to bury them. I can't do that here. I'm so sorry. No matter how hard I try to fight it off, I'm left with the feeling that I have to go. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I have to do this. If I don't, I'm afraid I'll self destruct, and worse, you'll be there to see it happen. Be safe. Know that I tried very hard to stay. Know that you're my one and only. I will miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I've ever really had. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you. I always will. Good bye.

Grissom had no idea how often he had read the letter Sara left at reception for him. He had been aware for a while that something was wrong with her, that she was sad and tired but he never got through to her, never made her talk to him. When she came to him in the office and kissed him in the middle of the hallway, he knew, something was very wrong. Why he stopped and didn't act was a mystery to him. Why did he let her go away after this kiss? Why did he not stop her, ask her what's wrong and didn't let anything or anybody disturb them? The moment in the hallway had been his last chance and he missed it.

Now Sara was gone and he had no idea to where. Like she said in the letter, she had no idea herself either. Only away from Las Vegas, away from him, all the ghosts that haunted her. Ghost of the past, of her childhood, that appeared again and again in cases she had to work. Maybe it had been a mistake to let her work the last case. Hannah had gotten under her skin years ago, she played with Sara and did it again. No matter how much Sara wanted that case, as her former supervisor and even more as her fiancé, he should have stopped her from taken over the case. Now it was too late.

She was gone and he was left alone. Left alone in their condo, in the place that was their past, was supposed to be their future. Did they still have a future? He wasn't sure. After this night he wasn't sure of anything. Only that the women, he loved, was gone. And he didn't do anything to stop her. Again. After all the things they had been through, after all those years they fought to be exactly where they were, engaged and ready to get married, Sara was left with no power and had to go.

Where did this leave him? What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

All she took was a little bag with clothes, her passport, money and the most important papers she needed. Everything else she left behind in their condo. The more things she took, the more she was reminded of Las Vegas, the more the ghosts stayed with her. She had to leave them all behind. And Grissom. Her fiancé, the love of her life.

This was the hardest thing she ever did, the hardest decision she ever had to make. Leaving the man she loved. But it was the only chance she had. Staying in Las Vegas meant, she was caught in her past, was forced to stay with the ghosts of her past, that haunted her more and more. Since the night under the car, since she had been victim herself - again - she knew she had to do something. Of course there were happy moment, like the moment when Gil asked her to marry him. The happiest moment in her life, and still, the ghosts were there.

No, the only chance she had was leaving, it was the only chance for her and Grissom too. If they wanted to be together, wanted to be happy, she had to go and work out her life first. You can't make somebody happy when you're sad. She really hoped she could be back here soon, could be back with him, but for now it was the best to leave - and the only opportunity she had.

And while the plane took off, she looked out of the window, one last look of Las Vegas and all she saw was Gil's face in every light of the city.


	83. You kill me

83. You kill me (8.8.)

When you love somebody you have to let her go. Easy to say when you weren't the one who was left behind. Still, it was true, there had been nothing for Grissom to stop Sara from going. At leas the knew where she was and that she was okay. Physical. They talked twice since she left, both times she called him. Now it was time for him to call her, show he cared and missed her. Not that she didn't know this already.

"Hey, did you pull another double?" Her voice sounded...lighter than the last time they talked. Like she slept more and finally slept without bad dreams. A positive change.

"Yeah, I had to finish a few stats for Ecklie, he breathed down my neck." It was good to hear her voice, to feel a little bit like they were together. "How are you? How is your mother?"

"Same, which means in her case, it's okay. She's happy to see me more often and I kind of enjoy spending time with her. Plus we had some really nice weather days here in San Francisco. No fog, I took some nice shots of the Golden Gate and Bay Bridge for you."

"Thanks." She didn't say she took the photos so he knew what he could see in case he came to San Francisco too. There was no doubt she missed him, he knew she did, but he also knew, she wasn't ready to have him around yet. the first part of her fight against ghost was the one she had to do alone and respected this.

"Is everybody all right?"

"They miss you, especially Greg."

"Tell him I said hi and will call him as soon as I'm ready for it. He should hang in there."

"I think at the moment I'm not the one who should talk to him about you. He kind of blames me for your goodbye. And I've the feeling he feels guilty for whatever reason."

"There's reason for him to feel guilty, there was nothing he or you could have done to help me. It's not about you guys, it's about the job...the place...I need to be away for a while."

"He'll realize it at one point."

"And you will stop pulling doubles at one point?"

"Probably." But what for? Since she left there was no reason for him to go home anymore. All he had left was his job. Why go home when your home was empty and remembered you the whole time of moments, when you were happy and with the one you love? "I did not only work last night. Hodges created a board game, based on the life in and around the lab. Quite an entertaining game and it took my mind off for a while."

"Is he looking for a new job? Changing from lab rat to game creator?"

"No, I think he looks for a way to keeps his head of work - which doesn't work completely when he creates a game based on his job. But it's a nice game, a few things have to be adjusted but then...maybe we'll play it one day."

"Maybe." Sara smiled a bit. She was in the apartment she rent for the time she was in San Francisco. For how long this would be, she didn't know. At the moment it was a good place to start to work on her past, fight off the ghosts. Sooner or later she had to move on, go to another place and even later back to Las Vegas. She wanted to go back, there was no doubt about it. Grissom was there and she missed him too much to stay away forever. "I hope I'm more settled soon, I miss you Gil."

"I miss you too and I want you to know, as soon as you're ready, all you need to do is give me a call and I come and see you, no matter where you are. I love you."

"I love you too and I'm grateful you understand and give me the freedom, I need right now."

"For years it was you who gave me all the freedom I needed, who gave me all the time I needed. The least I can do is to do the same for you now." He wished he could pull her in his arms and kiss her. Hearing her voice and not being able to hold her, kiss her, gave him physical pain. And reminded him how empty his life was without her.


	84. For Warrick

84. For Warrick (9.1.)

The last time Sara had been in her home in Vegas was almost two months ago, when she was here the last time to visit Grissom and her old team. She never thought she'd be back for such a sad reason.

"Do you want some dinner?" Grissom asked when he came into the living room where Sara was with Hank, who seemed to be very happy to have her around. Yes, his dog missed Sara just as much as he did.

"I'm not hungry." Sara got up on her feet, petted Hank for the last time and turned towards Grissom. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I'm not hungry neither. We...we can just sit on the balcony and...I don't know, watch the lights of the city turning on." Until he had to be back in the lab. They couldn't stay home, no matter how miserable they all felt. Crime didn't stop to give them a night for themselves, a night to recover from the funeral.

"Sounds good." She took his hand and walked with him to the balcony. "Can you tell me what happened? In the forest, with McKeen."

"McKeen was injured, flew the scene and...Nick secured him until help was there."

"I don't know if I could have just stand there and watch McKeen. I think, with a gun in my hands, the knowledge what he did to Warrick, being alone...I might have shot him. Make it look like self-defense or like he tried to flee the scene." Sara said carefully. All the anger, all the sadness she felt, she wasn't sure if she could have controlled her body in that moment.

"I'm not sure Nick didn't have the same thoughts. There's a bullet missing from his gun, but nobody will investigate that."

"No." She pulled him closer to her. They all were affected by Warrick's death but nobody was as much as Nick, who had been Warrick's best friend, and Grissom. After they saw the video of Warrick, he made for the custody case of his son, it had taken Grissom a long time to recover. Sara had never seen her fiancé crying this much.

"I'm really glad you came here, Sara."

"For nothing in the world I would have stayed away. You need me and when you need me, I'm here. I always told you, I'll be there for you. Even when my life...when I don't live here at the moment." She never thought it would take her such a long time to work on her own life. Almost a year and she still wasn't sure where she stood. The ghosts were still there and being back in Vegas for Warrick's funeral didn't make it easier to think about coming back.

"I do need you and so does the team. It's good we were at his funeral all together. He would have liked that. Have his family around."

"I think so." Wasn't it sad that the only family had were his colleagues? After his marriage with Tina didn't work out and she and their son lived alone, he was on his own. He mentioned to her that he was having a tough time, she never thought it could have been this tough. Getting divorced must be bad, getting divorced and fearing you won't see much of your son anymore, was even worse.

"How long will you stay?" They hadn't talked about that, until now there had been barely any time to talk about themselves at all.

"I don't know yet. A few days? We'll see. I won't leave you any time soon." Sara kissed his hair. Today wasn't a good day to think and talk about their life, today was Warrick's day. Tomorrow was soon enough to figure out, what was happening with them. One thing at a time.


	85. The happy place

85. The happy place (9.2)

People say the second time isn't as bad as the first time, it doesn't hurt that much anymore because you're used to it. What a nonsense.

When Grissom came home and found Sara and her belongings were gone it hurt even more than the first time. Last year she left without saying goodbye, this time she said more or less goodbye, or she asked him to come with her. She wanted him in her life, wanted to be with him and he told her, he can't go. Yes they were short-handed and it was almost impossible for him to take a few days off. Almost impossible. He had so much overtime, so many holiday days left, when he left for a week or two to be with Sara, nobody could say something against it. Nobody but him.

Why don't you stay? I can't stay here. She went away because of all the ghosts. For a while he thought she was fine, she was better the last times he saw her. But now...Warrick's death had been hard for all of them, for Sara it was new evidence that life in Las Vegas was full of violence. And then the old case from eight years ago, the young woman, who was raped and left to die on a street. When his lover worked the case it was a tough one for her, now, that she was back in Vegas, not a CSI anymore, the case got to another level. The woman was dead, killed by her husband, who couldn't go on with the life he had. He was too weak to let go, to tell the doctors to turn off the machines and let his wife die. He lied, to the police and worse, to Sara, disappointed her, and another reason why she left.

Maybe he needed her to leave him. Who are we talking about right now? Did he ruined everything? Did he tell Sara to leave him, that they had no future? Why wasn't he able to tell her, he was definitely not talking about them when she asked him? Because that was what she thought and he acted like it was the truth. What was wrong with him? There was this woman he loved more than anything else in the world, who loved him and wanted to be with him and he told her, he was too busy, couldn't go away with her and told her, she should leave him because...yes...why? Why did do that? Why was he such a fool?

Maybe it would be nice to take a trip. I don't know, get on a sea hopper, go to the Galapagos. Yes, it could be so nice. Unfortunately Grissom didn't join her. Not in his thoughts when she said, they could go there for a few weeks, leave Las Vegas and to together somewhere else. No, all he said was, he couldn't go away, why did she not stay? He knew why she couldn't stay. Las Vegas hadn't changed and she...she was ready to stay here. Nothing had changed, not to good. Warrick was killed, she got disappointed again and...everything got into her. She had no chance to keep herself out of cases, she got involved and felt, how it took over her life. No, she couldn't stay. Otherwise she'd be at the same point where she had been a year ago. Or even worse.

And what was it with his comment, Tom needed his wife to leave him? It sounded like he told her to leave him, so he could continue his life the way he wanted to live. And when she asked him, about who they were talking, he didn't manage to say, it wasn't about them. The way he looked down, the way he looked at her, told her more than thousand words. So she did what he wanted her to do. She left. She left him.

When he wanted to stay in Las Vegas, there was nothing she could do to change his mind. That was why she packed his bags and left when he was at work. No big goodbye scene. What for? It didn't make it better or easier. In a cab she left the city to the airport, like she had a year ago. Only this time she knew where she wanted to go to. If he didn't want to join her, she'd go alone. This city wasn't good for her, she needed to be somewhere else. Somewhere without crime, without demons of her past. A completely new place.

Even when that meant, she had to go there without Grissom. Had to leave him .


	86. Leave out all the rest

86. Leave out all the rest (9.5)

Hello from below the equator in Puerto Aorta. We've been at sea for over a month now. You wouldn't believe the crew: students, activists, scientists. The dinner conversations alone are mind blowing. There's even this marine biologist that reminds me a little bit of you. I wish we could talk in person but this is the best I can do. I want to apology for being out of touch. I've been thinking about us a lot - you know all the moments. I thought we could survive anything. This trip has given me a lot of clarity. That last year in Vegas, I could barely breathe, let alone think, but now, for the first time in a really long time, I'm happy. Before I left you said some things I tried not to hear but now I think you were right. If a relationship can't move forward, it withers. I've been waiting for you to decide but sometimes not making a decision is making a decision. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is you don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm good. I'm really good and honestly, I think it's better this way.

How often did she watch her own video? It was sent a long time ago and still, she had to watch it over and over again. Some parts of it she didn't understand yet. Even when she said them and she thought about what to say before she made the video. Did she just split up with her fiancé? Sara wasn't sure and at the same time she was sure, she did. Or did she not? Fact is, she never told him in her video she missed him. She didn't say she loved him. She apologized for being out of touch for such a long time, then again, you did the same to a friend, you hadn't talked to for a while.

Did their relationship wither? Fact was, she left him without telling him that she did, without telling him where she wanted to go or for how long. But she called him soon after she left, told him all she could tell him. As she told him in the video, she could barely breathe in Vegas, was barely able to live, only functioned and even that didn't work out in the end. She had to leave to become happy again, finish with her past and her ghosts. Being back in Vegas a few months ago, to be at Warrick's funeral didn't make it better, quite contrary, the time she spent there made it obvious, she wasn't ready to come back, leave alone being a CSI again.

She'd asked him to come with her, he told her, he couldn't leave because they were short-handed, which was right at that time. But he never tried to get enough staff he was able to leave for a while, didn't try to get away to be with her. He kept her hanging in a nimbus and waited. Not making a decision was making a decision; one against her, against them. So yeah, maybe he needed her to leave him. Maybe they weren't meant to be together, to be happy together. No matter how much she had wished they were for each other, what the other one was looking for. Some parts of her still wished for it, hoped, it wasn't over.

But when she looked at her situation, at their situation, it was obvious, they weren't together and none of them could stay where the other one wanted to be. It was true, she was happy here, really happy. She was away from violence, death, was surrounded by life, by people who had more in their life than work. So many different people. It reminded her a lot of college time. A huge community, they all did different things before but this didn't matter anymore because they were now at the same place, wanted the same things and worked together. Yes, she was good, she was happy and so...maybe it was better this way. And after saying these things they both could start to move on.

She had no idea how Grissom took the video, if he had the time to look at it at all. He never replied, it had been three days now that she sent him the video. That he got it was out of question, he was around his computer every day. Then again, maybe it was better when he didn't respond to it at all. Or not right away, give them a few days or weeks. She had made up her mind, now it was his time to realize what he really wanted. What was important to him. And he could decide now without the pressure of her, without worrying about her.

Maybe this was what they both needed...gosh, she never had a thought with so many maybes inside. How could she be sure about anything when she used so many maybes? Maybe she had to rethink everything again. Maybe.


	87. One to go

87. One to go (9.10)

"Do you know the feeling of something feels too good to be true and you wonder the whole time, if you're dreaming because...it seems too unreal, you can't be this lucky. Dreams don't come true and yet, it feels like exactly that happened."

"I'm feeling this right now." Grissom's hand found Sara's and squeezed it. Yes, it felt like a dream. Like a dream that came true. He made it. He made a decision, an active one. The last weeks gave him the clarity he needed. When Sara sent him the video, telling him to move on because their lives couldn't be spend together, his first reaction was to do exactly what she told him. It was the easiest way, the one that made him function without carrying about his feelings. He could just say it wasn't in his hands. Then he realized it was all in his hands, he had the ball and it was up to him if their life together was over or if he would fight for the woman, he loved more than anybody else.

"I still can't believe you came here." After the video he sent her a message two weeks later, she responded to it a few days later, told him, she was about to go to Costa Rica, roughly mentioned where the camp was and that was it. Enough for Grissom to find her.

"Believe it." He smiled because it sounded unreal to him too.

"And you'll stay." Incredible. He wasn't here for a few days, he was here for...for her.

"As long as you want. No time pressure, no calls from the lab. It's only you and I and your project. Take as much time as you need for it, now it's my time to wait and if you want, I can wait here with you. If you want, we can be together." Yes, if she wanted. There were a lot of doubts if she wanted him anymore. After all she told him, she was happy and fine and they both should move on. Grissom had been terrified that when he arrived he'd see Sara with another man. Why should she wait for him after she told him, it was over. After he reacted like he didn't care for her. And he had to tell her about Heather...but not today.

"You won't go back to the lab?"

"No. No I think I'll be better off without it. I haven't looked for something else but I won't go back to Vegas. This isn't a sabbatical, this is permanently. We can go wherever you want, can stay wherever you want, for as long as you want."

"Sounds good." She had no idea where to go after Costa Rica. At the moment it didn't seem to matter. Since this afternoon her life had changed again and it felt like it had changed from good to very good. She tried to tell herself she was happy and she was - but she knew, she missed him. No matter how much she tried to deny it.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to realize what is important - again. You must run out of patience with me."

"Well, it took you six years to realize what you feel for me and allow yourself to have these feelings and live them, a few months to realize that I'm more important than work is nothing compared to it. But yes, I lost patience, that was why I sent you the video. I knew I love you, I knew I wanted to be with you but I couldn't wait any longer. It hurt but I had to do something, had to make myself believe, I can move on without you."

"You made me believe you moved on without me. And again, it took me a while to do something. I'm afraid you will have to kick my ass a few times when I'm too stupid to understand or don't do what I'm supposed to do."

"I can do that." Sara laughed.

"And I've a very important question before you can kick me the first time."

"What is that?"

"Do you still want to marry me? Even when I'm a fool? And did some stupid things. And I mean doing and not not-doing."

"Heather?" She wasn't surprised. And had no reason to be mad after she told him it was over.

"Yes. After I got the video." He still felt guilty and thought, it had been a mistake. But...there were times when you didn't think straight and needed comfort, even when you knew, it was the wrong kind of comfort. Like it wasn't a good idea to ask Sara if she still wanted to marry him and tell her in the next sentence, he slept with another woman. But he wanted to be honest to her, didn't want to lie or leave something out. The time, when he kept her out of certain parts of his life, were over.

"I guess I can't complain about it, I told you to continue to live your life without me, that I was happy and it was good the way it was. And we weren't together at that time."

"She was there, she listened, understood...and I guess that was the moment when I realized I don't want anybody else than you. It opened my eyes and I knew, even when you told me not to bother anymore, I had to come to you and talk to you. And that I had to do something, be active. Coming here on a few days vacation hadn't changed, would have proved I didn't change. So I thought about what was really important in my life and came to the conclusion, you are more important than work. I can live without the lab but I can't live without you. They say you only know what you've got when it's gone. I lost you and I thought, if I want you back I had to fight and give it a try. Because if I hadn't, I had never forgiven myself. You're the one and only, you're my life. The only one that matters."

"Good." She kissed him. "And to give you an answer to your first question: I do!"

He pulled her back in his arms and kissed her. This time he wouldn't let her go, this time he wouldn't let anything get between them. This time, they'd get married. No matter what it would take.


	88. Family affair

88. Family affair (10.1)

"How was your first case, Honey?"

"I missed you." Sara let herself fall backwards on the bed, turned her head a little bit to the left so she saw a photo of herself and Grissom. When she looked to the right she saw another one. The first one was taken when they got married, the second when he arrived in Costa Rica to see her. And because being a wife you were allowed to be kitschy and awful romantic, she had over the little sideboard opposite to her bed a whole photo collection of herself and Grissom, so the first thing in the morning she saw was Grissom. And he was the last thing too. Being a wife changed your life a little bit. At least hers.

"I miss you too. Paris has lost its charm since you're gone." His voice was soft and Sara knew exactly where he sat now and how he looked. He was in their bedroom, had the pictures of them on the left hand side and to the right was a window that faced the city. A nice view.

"I'll be back soon."

"I look forward to come to airport and pick you up. Now tell me, how was your first case? Are you all right working as a CSI again?" He worried she might not be ready to be back in Las Vegas, as a CSI. That the ghosts could come back and haunt her again while he wasn't there. How could he take care of her when they were 6000 Miles apart?

"Yes. The teams misses you, they all asked for you and when you come back. Ray, who you picked as your replacement, seems to make good process, Ecklie likes him which is...I'm not sure it's a compliment. He got into Cath's face because somebody in the lab talked to the press about an ongoing investigation and he blamed her, said, her leadership is bad. Plus Riley seemed not to be happy with Cath as her boss."

"She's a great supervisor."

"That's what I told her and - I've to tell you off - I used a baseball metaphor to explain what I meant and she teased me for it. My explanation that by being married you're supposed to share the interests of your spouse amused her even more."

He laughed loud and hearty. In Vegas she had never heard him laughing like he did in Paris or in Costa Rica. She wasn't the only one who benefited from leaving Sin City. "I'd love to see her face when you said that. How are the others?"

"Nick got promoted to assistant supervisor because what Cath needs at work is a second her. You were lucky to have her."

"I was. Like I was lucky to have such a great team in total. The best I could have asked for. Tell her, I'll give her a call soon. What about Greg? I bet he was over the moon to see you."

"He was and so were I to see him. I missed him a lot. Yes I know I'm supposed to tell my husband I missed another man. Sorry."

"You're forgiven. What kind of case did you have?"

"A dead actress, a mob getting after the body of her father, whose body ended up in tiny little pieces. A shredded body. I bet you had loved it, the human jigsaw puzzle." Sara still felt a little bit sick when she thought about the body on the ground and later in the lab. This reminded her again why she was a vegetarian.

"Sounds like you had fun."

"Yeah...oh, these people who stole the body also shot in the lab, nobody is seriously injured but there's a big mess like when the explosion was. My first case back in Vegas and I chased criminals with my gun, shot at them and they did the same with me."

"Now, that's another thing you shouldn't tell you husband, Honey."

"Sorry." She grinned. "Oh Gil, it's good to be back but I miss you."

"We'll be back together soon. Until then we'll have a telephone date every day."

"Absolutely." There was no way she would let a day pass by without talking to her husband.


	89. Ghost town

89. Ghost town (10.2.)

"How are you, my little abeille?"

"Abeille? Did you just call me 'bee', Monsieur Grissom?" Sara chuckled. What kind of a greeting was that? Did her husband check out if she missed France or if she still understood the language?"

"Peut-être." He pulled her in his arms and kissed her. It was so good to see her again after being separated for two weeks. When Sara finished her last case she took the first flight to Paris and of course he was at the airport to pick her up. For nothing in the world he'd miss out a minute with his wife. With her back in the French capital, Paris was the city of love again.

"I don't worry, I didn't forget what I've learnt. It's good to be back - and it was about time. Your beard hides your lovely face, my Dear."

"Well, you proved years ago you're very good in shaving my beard. Care to do it again?"

"Do you still trust me intimately?" She smiled softly.

"More than ever before." He took her hand in his right hand her backpack in the left. Hand in hand they walked out of the airport to his car. From here to their apartment it took about half an hour. "How was your flight?"

"I slept most of the time after I didn't get much sleep in Vegas the last night. We...I met an old acquaintance of yours."

"Who's that?"

"Craig Mason, the son of..."

"Judge Mason." Grissom fulfilled the sentence for her.

"Yes. He was our murder suspect and I'm afraid, he was it not only because of the evidence but because his father went after you. After Ray said that, we had a closer look at the evidence and found out, he couldn't be the killer. He's a peeping Tom, that's it, watched strip girls working in front of the computer. The killer was a neighbor, a Mister Nice Guy. After we arrested him I went to Craig and told him I was sorry we treated him like he had to pay for his father's sins. Craig makes masks and rubber hands, just like Paul Millander, who was his childhood idol. A man, who creates so many Halloween masks is a hero for boys, especially when he allows him to play with everything once a month. I took Craig home because his mother wasn't there, she was...she didn't took it easy when she heard about the peeping."

"He must have reminded her of Millander, scared her of becoming what the split personality of his adoptive father was. It's easy to judge. I'm glad you took him home, talked to him."

"Yeah, it was the last thing I could do...he isn't a fan of CSI, especially not of you. I didn't mention I'm Misses Grissom."

"A smart thing not to do. Did you not wear your new vest when you saw him?"

"Uhm...on my vest is Sidle written. I didn't take your name, so why write it on my vest?"

"Are you ashamed of your husband?" Grissom teased. He did the same after the wedding, when Sara said, she wanted to keep her name, which was fine with Grissom.

"No! I keep my private life private. Like we did the last years in Vegas. The people who have to know, know we're married. It's not the business of the rest. And you were cool with me keeping my name."

"You're really cute when you defend yourself. I'm not disappointed Sara, in fact, I didn't except you to do anything else. Sara Sidle has her own reputation."

"Not always the best I'm afraid." She laughed and put her head on his shoulder for a moment.

"Enough of work for now, lets focus on the week we have together." He squeezed her hand. "What would you like to do? I managed to get my mornings off."

"Waking up next to you, breakfast in bed every day, hugs, kisses, sex, some wine in the evening. That's it. All I want is you, Gil." She kissed his cheek. It was so good to be back with him.


	90. Lover's lane

90. Lover's lane (10.8.)

"Somebody comes home late. Are you turning into a workaholic again, Sara?"

"No." Sara dropped on her bed and smiled. When she opened her front door the landline phone rang and when she answered it, she heard the voice of her husband. "The whole team went out for bowling. Reminded me a little bit of the day when we went out to this cart place. Remember? After we told Ecklie different times since we're together."

"I do remember. How was it? Did you have fun?"

"Yes. It's not really my cup of tea but it was fun to be with all of them. They asked if you don't want to join us the next time and when you come back and join the team. They all miss you and want you back. That includes me."

"Well, I can't be your supervisor anymore." His voice was sad.

"I'm aware of that." And she believed it was a shame. Working with Grissom had been fun.

"Tell the team I'll be back soon - as a visitor."

"Describe soon." She sat up. Was he telling her, he'd come over to Las Vegas?

"Like...the day after tomorrow? Would you like that?"

"Are you kidding me? Because if you are, it's not a nice thing. I miss you too much to be teased with you maybe coming to Vegas for a visit. It's been a while since you were here."

"I'm not kidding. I'm due for a vacation a week early than planed, booked my flight and will be in Vegas the day after tomorrow around six pm. Care to pick me up at the airport?" He had planed to come over while his students had a week off, that this week was expended to two weeks was like an unexpected Christmas gift. One more week for them together.

"Absolutely." On Sara's face appeared a huge smile. Her husband was about to come home. In less than sixty hours he was back with her. "How long will you stay?"

"Two weeks. We need some time together and it's not fair that you do all the flying all the time." His voice was soft. Most times Sara flew to Paris to see him, now he had the chance to fly to Las Vegas and see her - and his old team. He hadn't seen them in a while.

"It must be Christmas and I totally missed it. I wish I could beam myself to Paris and kiss you, Gilbert Grissom. Have I told you lately that I love you?" There were butterflies in her stomach, like years ago when she entered the lab and knew, she'd see him soon, talk to him.

"Not since breakfast which feels like eternity. And I love you too, Sara Sidle. Shall I get us a bottle of the French red wine you love so much? For our reunion celebration?"

"I'm not quite sure if I want anything else than you for that. Wine seems to be a waste of time when you can do better things than sitting on a couch and sip it."

"Who said we'll sit on the couch and sip wine? As far as I remember we're capable of taking the bottle to bed with us. Like we did a couple of times in Paris. Oh, and I'll get your favorite French champagne for breakfast in bed. You will have a day off, won't you?"

"Remember I told them I only come back when I've a lot of days off to spend time with my husband? Well, I planed a week for your week off and the first I'll do at the beginning of the next shift is telling them, I need from the day after tomorrow at least two days off."

"Sounds like a good plan. Tell them I only come along and see them if you get these two days. Otherwise they won't see me in the lab or somewhere else."

"Are we blackmailing our friends?"

"No, we blackmail Ecklie and put some pressure on him. I'm sure he deserves it." Grissom chuckled. From what he heard from his wife his former boss didn't change much.

"Good idea. Do you have any plans for tonight? Any French movie? A lovely young female student who needs some extra attention and lessons?"

"No, my only plan for tonight is my wife. The young student had been here yesterday, you only missed her by minutes when you called." He teased.

"Oh, tell her I'm sorry, I was too busy with my toy-boy. He needed some extra attention but paid me back for it. Double." She shot back dryly. Teasing time! She loved it.


	91. Better off dead

91. Better off dead (10.10)

"Honey, I'm home!" Sara smiled. She could get used to coming home and calling out for her husband. Knowing your apartment wasn't empty when you returned was a great feeling. She came home to her husband, not to an empty apartment. No matter how often she repeated it, it felt great and made her very happy. Grissom made her very happy.

She found him in the kitchen, cooking their brunch. When he saw her, a smile appeared on his face, he pulled her in his arms and kissed her softly. "Missed you. Good to see my CSI comes home safely. How was your shift? Did you find the man in the red shirt?"

"Yes. He wasn't a killer, he tried to save the woman. And because she was dead, he jumped from the Ivory Tower sky deck. To reunite with her in death. Romeo and Juliet part two."

"The greatest love story ever."

"I think our love story is much better than theirs. And we have a happy end. I prefer being married to you than buried with you." She snuggled into his arms. "That reminds me, I know another love story. Wanna hear about it?"

"With a happy end?"

"Well...I haven't worked that out, it's a story that's still in progress. Your former right hand seems to have a very special relationship to detective Vartann. The way he looked at her, helped her down the hill at the scene says all."

"Vartann? Sounds like Catherine finally changed her taste in men, very good. What does she say about your observation? Does she deny or confirm?"

"No comment. I told I'm an investigator and see such things." Sara chuckled. Quite contrary to their friends, who didn't realize for over two years that she and Grissom were a couple.

"A trained eyes, I'm proud you leant so many things from me." He grinned.

"Honey, when it comes to personal and love relationships you were totally blind. Sorry to tell you but you had no idea what was going on in the lab. Catherine had to tell you all the time."

"Somebody had to concentrate on work. And all I was interested in were you." He kissed her forehead and turned back to the oven. "Want to set the table?"

"Sure...if you make more scrambled eggs."

"Why? Is that not enough for you?"

"For me it is but...I kind of invited the guys over for breakfast and if they are..." Their doorbell rang. "...they are on time, so we can all have breakfast together. You and your old team. Sorry, surprise." Sara flashed an apologetic smile. Her plan had been to sent him a text to warn him but somewhere she forgot that. "Mea culpa."

"You're forgiven. Why don't you let our guest in while I make more eggs. It will be good to see them all again, have breakfast with them. We didn't do that for a long time." He slapped playfully her backside when she turned to open the door. Breakfast with his old team. A nice idea of his wife. So they could talk and see each other again.

"You're wanted in the living room." Sara took the salt out of his hands. "Say hello to your team and let me finish in here."

"Okay." He kissed her and left the kitchen. Before he was in the living room Catherine hugged him and pulled him the last yards in her arms into the room.

"What took you so long to come back home? We invited you a few times!"

"Sorry, I didn't have time off. You look great, Catherine."

"So do you, being married suits you. The wife keeps you in good shape." She bopped him.

"Her love keeps me young and happy. Mister new assistant supervisor, well done and congratulation." Grissom smiled and hugged Nick.

"Thanks. All your work, your teaching." Nick answered.

"Guess so. Greg, do you still listen to loud music in the lab?" He gave Greg a firm look over, hiding a little smile in the corner of his mouth.

"No Sir, no loud music, I'm a serious CSI now." Greg hugged Grissom. "Good to see you back home. Your wife misses you a lot and I can't comfort her all the time. Since she works less than before I've to work more hours."

"You're not supposed to comfort my wife, that's my job. Keep your hands off her!"

"Maybe."

"Careful young man. Jim, can you throw him into a cell so he learns his lesson?" Grissom grinned at his oldest friend.

"Well, I see what I can do. A night with some guys who'll like him a lot. Yeah, should teach him a lesson. Costs you a bottle of the red French champagne...or a couple of beers in the bar tomorrow night."

"We take the bar, makes much more fun. My wife is back at work anyway."

"The best excuse for a men's night out."

"I call the doc so we can meet for dinner before he has to work." Grissom smiled. Dinner with Jim and Al, something he didn't do for a long time and really looked forward to. Maybe he should come more often to Las Vegas and see his old friends. Or invite them all over to Paris.


	92. Long ball

92. Long ball (10.12)

"You should come back soon." Sara greeted her husband when her telephone rang and she saw the familiar number from Paris. Since four days was he back in Europe.

"You miss me so much?" His voice was slightly amused although she heard a little bit of sadness through his voice, meant he missed her too. It took both a few days before they used to be in different places again.

"Of course. An Greg wonders if we are really married. Only because we never talked about golf, if you like it or not. He thinks it's a sport that might appeal to you."

"I thought we made it very obvious we're married when I was over the last time. Didn't we look like a happily married couple? All the time we spent together, you taking time off to be with me. Or is he fishing, trying to find out, if he has a chance? Now that I'm away."

"No." Sara laughed. "I doubt that. He knows there's only one man for me. I guess people are irritated by our unusual relationship. Most married couples live together and not on two different continents. Six thousand miles and an ocean between them."

"Most couples suffocate each other and split up because of that. Or one gives himself up, becomes unhappy, angry, which leads to the end of the marriage. Of course I want to see you more often but I think, we're doing quite good. Or am I totally wrong?"

"No, you're right. I miss you like hell when you're not here but I know I'd be too bored in Paris. You have to work and I'm not a huge fan of shopping. Plus since I had my time away being a CSI feels right again. Especially with my old team. I missed the guys." Sara smiled. It was good to be back in Vegas. Her life was different than before. The first thing she did when she came home was calling her husband, talking to him on the phone or via the computer. Then she went to bed, got at least eight hours of sleep and spent some time in front of the TV or outside. No police scanner, no forensic literature all the time. And since a month she, Greg and Nick went to a swimming pool together once a week. Refreshing quality time with her friends. Things she never did years ago.

"We've eight more weeks before I've three weeks off. Time for you to book us a trip. Where would you like to go to? Any ideas already?"

"Costa Rica. A special date needs a special place." In nine weeks they had their one year anniversary. A year ago they got married in Costa Rica, she wanted to be there to celebrate.

"Sounds really good. I booked my flight to Los Angeles already, we can meet there and start into our second honeymoon. One week bugs, one week beach and one week culture?"

"I love your plan almost as much as I love you." Wasn't he cute? Her former fiancé, who couldn't step away from work, who never took a week off, planed their next trip right after the last one ended. He couldn't wait to see her again, spend time with her. Quality time. A week for the things he enjoyed, a week for her hobby and a week with things they both liked a lot. All three plans included a lot of time for them together. Breakfast in bed, watching the sunset. The way a perfect holiday was supposed to be.

"Sounds like we'll have a date. Shall I arrange our flights?"

"Yeah, you'll have the long flight before and after them, I can get from L.A. to Vegas without a problem. Arrange the bug trip too, I book the beach hotel and for the third week we can look what we want, at the moment I've nothing special in mind. You?"

"All I have on my mind is you. And that's a thought I want to keep."

"Go on like this and I'll jump into the next plane and come to Paris. Eight weeks are such a long time. Feels like eternity."

"It's an eternity but it's worth waiting for it. You are worth waiting for."

"Ditto." She smiled. Yes, she was a truly happy married woman. There was no better husband she could have asked for than Grissom. Her personal Mister Perfect.


	93. Meat Jekyll

93. Meat Jekyll (10.23)

For the first time in a couple of hours Sara was happy. The reason was Grissom's face on the screen of her laptop. Usually she never send him text message while she worked a case, today was different. A lot of bad things happened and she needed him to comfort her.

"How are you? How are Nick and Ray?" Concern was written all over Grissom's face. When he got Sara's text message he called her right away to make sure, she was as good as she could be under these circumstances. Two hours later, when she was back home, he made sure he was online, ready to talk to her.

"Nick is out of risk and it looks like Ray will be fine too."

"What about you? How are you? And don't tell me you're fine because you weren't injured."

"I'm...I had better days. When I got the call that Nick was shot it felt like somebody punched me right in my face. We went straight to Desert Palms, checked on him. He was out of risk, could talk to us, even mocked he didn't want me to give him a ride home because of the way I drive. When I was on my way home I got the next call, this time Ray was injured by Haskell. Is there a kind of curse of the nightshift? I know I asked you this questions years ago, it feels like nothing has changed."

"The problem is you work in a team with really good scientists, who find out a lot of things. That leads them and you to the bad guys, which is dangerous. If you and your team weren't that good, you wouldn't be in danger all the time. You stopped a serial killer and another sick serial killer was involved too." He was up to date about the Doctor Jekyll case, she told him all details. It was her personal therapy, talking to her husband about her cases. Made it easier for her to handle them, get her thoughts off them. "Are you wearing your vest all the time?"

"Yes." She promised him to take care of herself and she kept her promise.

"Good. Can you give me the number of the hospital where I can reach Nick and Ray?"

"No, sorry. Not at the moment. As soon as I know them I let you know."

"Thanks. And Sara?"

"Yeah?" The way he said her name she knew, there were some news coming now.

"I booked a flight to Vegas. On Saturday."

"What? Seriously?" He wasn't supposed to come back for another two weeks.

"Yes. I told them you need me, your friends were shot and injured and they were kind enough to let me leave earlier. I wasn't done with all the preparation to leave Paris but the rest has to be done by somebody else. I'll pack my things tonight and tomorrow, bring them to the transport company and come back on Saturday." His time in Paris was over and he planed to spend the summer with her in Las Vegas. Time together for them, time for him to look for a new job. There were various offers, he hadn't picked on yet, wanted to let her involved in the decision. A new job meant he was away again for a while.

"That's the best news in a while. I'll be there to pick you up." She smiled a bit.

"Now with this smile I like you much more than with the worried look."

"For how long will you stay?"

"We haven't decided where I go next, means I'll stay at least a month. And no, I won't come back to lab and back you guys up. Or swing shift."

"That's a shame, we could need you here but it gives us more time together. I'll tell the guys you're back on Saturday, it will make them feel better."

"Can you look out for my wife until I'm back and look after her? That would make me feel better."

"I promise. Thanks for rearranging your plans. I really need you here." She swallowed.

"No job will keep me away from you when you need me. You're my highest priority Sara. I love you." He sent her a kiss via the camera. Unfortunately this was all he could do at the moment.


	94. Blood moon

94. Blood moon (11.3.)

"Your best student called me by your name today, he's very cheeky." Sara greeted her husband when his face appeared on her screen. Back to the long distance relationship, this time Grissom was in Central America, working for several governments. They both picked this job because it gave him the chance to come to Vegas at least once a month and if she wanted to see him in between, the flight wasn't as long as it was to France. Or London, where he could have worked too. Plus Central America reminded him of their reunion, their wedding and the time difference wasn't that big.

"Why did he do that? He should use your name, it's such a pretty woman."

"Because I told him a twelve letter word for across the wood is Transylvania. He called me Grissom, didn't stop, made it to Gil and I told him, you're not happy when he calls you that."

"Sounds like you guys had some fun. What kind of case did you work?"

"A werewolf became a vampire because he fell in love with a female vampire. They were supposed to get married, unfortunately his future wife wasn't happy about his past and when she found out, she killed him. Deadly love."

"Your love keeps me very much alive, in case you wonder."

"And I make you happy. So you told me over three years ago."

"Which is still true. You make me very happy, even when I can only talk to you on the internet. Seeing you is the highlight of my days."

"Ditto. Oh, and I heard some gossip in the lab...don't tell me it's wrong to listen to it, I know that myself but it's too good...Cath and Vartann...he asked her to move in."

"What did she say?"

"I don't know, she never answered or Hodges wasn't there when she answered. He has a talent to get all the little secrets...except for ours. We were the best, nobody had any clue...nobody in the team." Sara swallowed. Nathalie had seen it, knew it. Not a nice thought.

"Lets hope they'll be happy, no matter what her answer is. He's a nice man and a good detective. Why don't you find a woman for Nick and Greg?"

"Because that distracts them from their job and it's not my job. I'm busy with my own private life and won't interfere with theirs. Nick tried to set me up with a friend of him years ago and that was nothing I wanted." Her friend offered her this unwanted date after she found out Hank cheated on her...or used her to cheat on his girlfriend.

"Okay. Nick and Ray are still all right? No problems after their injuries?"

"No, they're fine...if they weren't, would you come back? Help us out?"

"We are through this topic. You're the CSI in Vegas, I'm the scientist in the wild. Switched roles." He smiled. First she had been away from Las Vegas, where he was a CSI and now it was the other way around.

"Yeah, don't forget the time when we both were in the rain forest. I looked for flights and will be with you in two weeks. Make sure your camp bed is big enough for two, I won't sleep in another bed or on the ground." Sara grinned. When he came to her two years ago they had to share Sara's very narrow camp bed and it was everything but comfortable.

"I'll make sure you'll sleep like a queen, my angel. Anything else I should prepare for you?"

"Your lips, I want thousands of kisses. To heal the wounds of missing you all day and night when we're apart."

"Deal. And Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"I like it when you whine because you miss me. The strong wife is nice, the wife who misses me and admits to it, is even sexier and more loveable. Keep on with this."

"Macho!" She laughed and shook her head. She wasn't whiny, she was...she missed him like he missed her. And he admitted to it all the time too.


	95. House of hoarders

95. House of hoarders (11.5)

Beach, deep blue water, white sand and a little hut. The perfect place to set the soul free. The place where Sara was at the moment. Wasn't she a lucky woman? All she needed to live in the perfect was a cold cocktail, the sunset in a few minutes and...

"I've got a caipirinha for you." Grissom handed Sara a glass with a lot of ice and lime. He wore shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, the big straw hat he had already in Vegas. In his other hand he had another cocktail, his. Something deep red with a lot of ice.

"Thanks." After a sip of her cocktail she was sure, taking a couple of days off after the last case was a good idea. Instead of Las Vegas she was in Costa Rica on a beach, all alone with her husband on a lonely beach. What a change to her ordinary life.

"You're welcome. " Grissom smiled. When Sara called him she'd come over for a week, he took this time off from his research to spend the whole time with his wife. From a colleague he got this hut on the beach on a private beach. A lot of time only for themselves.

"This feels like a second honeymoon...or third, we had our second already." She moved a little bit to the right so he had space on the towel, where she made herself comfortable. A towel in the sand under a palm tree, there wasn't more they needed. "And we're here alone?"

"It's a private island, we're all alone. I hope you don't get bored when you can't go out."

"You must keep me busy, entertain me." She placed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. When they could have this island more often she'd become a frequent flyer to Costa Rica. At least once a month...Ecklie wouldn't like it when she was one week away each month. Then again, she worked the hours for it...or could work them.

"I can do that. But why don't you tell me about our last case? You and Nick had a little dispute, right? Didn't you mention this in your email? Are you friends again?"

"Yes. We...we took different sides, he liked the mother as a suspect, I liked the son. Nick thought because the mother is a hoarder, a mental disorder, she's a killer, or most likely the killer. Yes, the bodies were found in her house but there was no history of violence and according to the shrink, hoarders don't hurt people. The son left his home a long time ago, had contact to all victims and no alibi. The vics dated his little sister."

"Both of you had good reasons to believe your side of the story. Who was right?"

"None of us. The little sister was the killer. She poisoned the three boys, the fourth body, we found in the house - after Nick stepped into it and became evidence - was another sister. She was hit on the head by books and died. The mother...I don't know if she didn't know it or...if her disorder made her forget it."

"You felt reminded of your own mother?" He asked softly.

"Kind of...I could understand the son who left his home ASAP, but he blamed his mother for the things his little sister did. That she killed those boys had nothing to do with her mother's disorder. He grew up there and didn't turn into a killer. My mother stabbed my father, I never attacked somebody...well...with words...but not physical."

"No, you had a bad temper a few years ago but since we're married you're relaxed. The best evidence that I'm good for you, complete your life."

"You're my solid rock, yes." Sara kissed him. "And even when I'm not the biggest fan of weddings, I'd marry you again one day. When we're on a beach like this."

"Really? You're so much into weddings now?"

"No, I'm so much into honeymoons." She slipped onto him. "Why don't we practice a little bit for our next honeymoon? You said we're alone on this island, lets have some sex on the beach, that doesn't get served in a glass and with ice."


	96. Wild life

96. Wild life (11.9)

"Jim called me and told me, you sold him as killers of a double murder a parrot and a cat. Please tell me you're not drunk and you haven't smoked any prohibited things. I gave you a harmless plant, didn't I? It's not a marihuana plant." Grissom's voice was somewhere between amusement and disbelieve. After he got a phone call from his friend he had to call his wife to hear the other side of the quite unbelievable story.

"No, they killed their owner. Well, it was an accident. The cat tried to kill the parrot, that was in the shower with the man. He felt, hit his head on the wall, lost conscious and drowned in the water. Fleeing the scene and attack the parrot attacked the woman, who was about to have a look what was going in the bathroom. Chased and attacked by the parrot she fell into the glass table, unfortunately with the tip of the kitchen knife looking towards her body. When the parrot saw the blood it called 911 and called for help before it went into its cage and closed the door. A crazy story, I know, but it's what the evidence tells us. And Greg cut his finger eating an apple and the parrot called 911 for him. No dope, no alcohol, only the truth."

"Just when you think you heard it all...how is Hank doing?"

"He misses you almost as much as I do and wants you to come back home soon."

"Two weeks. Or do you feel like another time out on the island?"

"Very tempting but Ecklie won't give me another week off. We need to go there another time, maybe even for two weeks. It's a great spot and we have a lot of time for...us." Sara grinned. No people around, only beach, the hut, the ocean and a lot of time for sex on the beach. And some drinks afterwards.

"I'll ask Marty about it and let you know. To get to your case...how many coincidence do you need for such a scenario?`"

"A lot. The owner fought a lot, we found a lot of 911 calls made by them, difficult to say who was the bad one. Also the neighbor complained about their fights. The animals didn't learn anything else than fighting and they really hate each other. Oh and our arrogant and so perfect lab man, Hodges, is scared of birds. Apparently he was attacked by Canadian geese when he was young. Not all Canadians are friendly."

"Remind me that I send him a postcard from Costa Rica with birds - or bring him some feathers. Don't you want an exotic bird for the break room?"

Sara laughed. "No. As much as I'd enjoy his face, these animals belong to the place where they live and not into a cage in the lab. You know I hate the circus the and zoo."

"I know." He said. Once he invited her into a zoo for a Sunday afternoon stroll and his wife refused to set a foot inside. For her those places weren't safe haven for animals, they were small prisons where the animals didn't live the way they were supposed to. You can't have a polar bear in a zoo and expect it not to suffer during summer.

"How was the case of the other guys?"

"They got a lesson in 'sex kills'. At least on the balcony of a multistory building. Suspended congress."

"I felt very alive the last time we had sex - might be because we didn't have sex on the ceiling on a multistory building."

"Where did you learn about the Suspended congress? Are there things you want to tell me?"

"I'm a man who is interested in many things and reads a lot. Or will be play 'cite your source' again?"

"No." She chuckled. The last times she played their personal game she lost. First when she had to tell him about being a member of the mile high club and after that there a couple of more incidents like this one. There was no need for another one.


	97. 418427

97. 418/427 (11.10)

"You look sad today, what happened, my Dear?" Grissom asked when he saw Sara onscreen. He was in Peru since a week, worked for the government.

"The case...it was...you know I sympathized a couple of time with the victims and their families...this time I felt sorry for the killer..." Sara sighed. He spent some time with Trend when he was in custody. She couldn't help it, she felt like she should be with him and he seemed to appreciate her being around, not asking question, accusing him of anything.

"How is that?"

"We found a man and a woman shot in the car park of a supermarket. He worked there, she was a customer. Because he had been in prison we first thought it was gang related but we found out, the woman was the primary target. When we realized that, a witness told us, our female vic had a three year old daughter with her in the shop. There were no traces of her daughter nor the car. We found out her identity, her husband appeared, a FBI agent, who hunts pedophiles. Apparently was one after his family. We found the man, meanwhile the son of the agent, Trend, was missing too, but the pedophile had nothing to do with it. Later we found the body of the pedophile, killed by the son while the agent killed his wife, they were in a nasty divorce. We had a confession of the agent, all we needed was the little girl. Trend, who drove away with her, hadn't taken his medication, he's schizophrenic and couldn't help us. Thanks to bed bugs we found the girl, she was safe. I went to see Trend afterwards, sat next to him, hold his hand and...I don't know...it seems like I always end up where I started. With a schizophrenic person, who killed somebody else. First my mother stabs my father and now this boy, who shot a man. He has to face justice even when he has no idea what he did and can't take responsibilities for his actions...like my mother...the problem is, the other one is dead and lives are ruined." Sara took a deep breath. She couldn't remember the last time she said so many sentences without a break. But she hadn't been able to stop herself. Now that all the words were out, she laid the case - and her feelings - out for her husband, she felt better.

"How do you feel now?"

"Better since I you listened to my words. A kiss and a hug would be nice now."

"How about a smile and the news I'll come to Vegas in three weeks."

"Almost as good as kiss and a hug. Because I can get them when you're here." Sara smiled a bit. "In three weeks is the party, your mother invited us to, right?"

"Yes. We both have to dress up otherwise we'll be in serious trouble. What will you wear?"

"I let you know...when you're there."

"You don't have a dress yet!" He chuckled. "You forgot the party until I mentioned I'll be over soon. Oh, you so have to go shopping, my beautiful wife."

"Shut up! I didn't forget and I do have a dress but I won't tell you anything about it. Like you let me wait years ago when you knew something you didn't want to share yet. So many times I was close to strangle you when you left the room, not telling me what you thought, found out or were about to do. Time for payback, time to let you wait and wonder. How does it feel?"

"Like I married a pouting child."

"Bite me!" She stuck out her tongue.

"I'd love to. Three weeks, Honey. Is there anything I should get you from Peru?"

"My husband is all I want. The rest I see when I fly down and visit him in a few weeks. For now, get me my Gil home and I'm happy."

"I do my best." He blew her kiss. There were a few things he had on mind as a souvenir for his wife but it felt good she asked for him and nothing else. He was all she wanted and needed.


	98. A kiss before frying

98. A kiss before frying (11.12)

When her doorbell rang Sara looked surprised up from the book she read. A visitor? Now? It was eight in the evening, who came to see her at this time? Her colleagues should be on their way to work and she didn't have any other friends here. Was it a neighbor, who needed some sugar or something like that?

She opened the door and found Greg there, looking like a puppy who did something bad and got in serious trouble for it.

"Hey...what is this sad look about? You don't look like this because you've to work tonight, do you?" As far as she knew she was the only one with the night off.

"I'm not working tonight, I'm...off for a few nights. Can I come in?"

"Sure." She stepped aside and let him come in. "Do you want something to drink? A beer?"

"No...coke?"

"No problem. Have a seat I'm with you in a second." Sara went in the kitchen, got a beer and coke out of the fridge and went into the living room, where Greg sat. Her friend talked to the laptop on the table...no, he talked to Grissom! Her husband must have started a conversation via the messenger while she opened the door for Greg.

"There she is...shall I leave you alone? I didn't know you were talking to Grissom..."

"Neither did I, he wasn't there when you rang. Hey Gil." Sara sent a soft smile to her husband.

"Hey, now I know how you spend your nights off, with another man. I always knew I have to keep an extra eye on Greg. Don't you have work to do?"

"Not tonight...or the next nights."

"Why? Are you ill?" Sara checked her friend. He looked fine, not injured.

"No...Grissom, you might be glad you're not my supervisor anymore, I did some stupid things, got myself into trouble and endangered a case."

"Did you use a toilette at a scene again?"

"No, I wish I was something like that...Sara, while you were here, we had a school group in the lab and I...Nick made get the number of their teacher. Great woman. I fell for her, we met for dinner and...she stayed over. Unfortunately was being a school teacher not her only occupation. She was also a femme fatale and a murderer. I didn't want to see that, ignored it and almost...let her escape. She played me...used me...and when the police got her, she told me she loved me since Tuesday - when we met. No wonder Cath asked me to stay off for a few days. Ecklie will be mad when he finds out. I can lose my job."

"If Cath wanted you off the team she had told you so. We all make mistakes and you can't control with whom you fall in love." Sara placed her hand on his shoulder and pulled him into her arms. "It hurts, doesn't it?"

"Yes. And I feel so stupid."

"We all get too close to people we should stay away from sometimes." Grissom said. "In the end you did the right thing, you stopped her. That's all what counts."

"Doing the right things hurts sometimes."

"It does." Sara looked at Grissom. "But in the end it hurt more if you don't do it. Use the days off to get your mind off the case. Why don't we go out later? Watch the late movies, have a drink and don't come back before sunrise? I have to keep the nightshift rhythm, can't go to bed anyway and you're still in nightshift mode."

"Your husband is listening, do you think he wants to hear you'll go out with another man?"

"I'm sure he's fine with that."

"In your case I make an exception, Greg. Take care of my wife. We talk again tomorrow, Sara. Love you."

"Love you too and see you tomorrow." She blinked at her husband. Their conversations were important to them, but tonight she had to take care of her best friend. Greg needed her and she wanted to be there for him.


	99. The two Misses Grissom

99. The two Misses Grissom (11.13)

When Sara opened her door she felt like something was different in her condo than it had been in the morning. A quick look around told her, everything seemed to be at the same place where she left it. Irritated she went into the kitchen, dropped her bag on a chair, opened the fridge to get a little bottle of juice and found out, there was no juice. Didn't she buy four bottles yesterday night? One she drank when she came back from shopping, one she took with her to work and one was in the car...where was the fourth one? More irritated she took the last bottle of water and made a mental note on her way to the living room, that she had to go shopping again. Where did she put the fourth bottle? Did she put it in her bag and carried it around the whole time without noticing it?

Puzzled she stopped when she saw the bottle in the living room on the table. For a second her eyes were stuck on the half empty bottle before she realized there was a bigger surprise than the juice. Her mouth opened and closed automatically before her legs reacted and she started running...towards the man in her living room. With one jump she practically ended up in his arms and kissed him passionately.

"You're a juice thief." She said when their lips separated for a second.

"You're a bad housewife, your fridge looks like a cold version of the desert."

"It's your fridge too. Why don't you come along once a day and stock it?"

"Looks like I've to consider it." Grissom smiled and pulled Sara back into his arms. It looks like his surprise worked out. After he couldn't be with his wife at the party and didn't help her with his mother, who could be difficult, he knew it, he took the first chance to get back to Vegas, without telling Sara.

"Since when are you here? How long will you stay?"

"Three hours and a few days. I told them not to call me back unless they're in desperate need of my help, that I've some serious family business, I need to take care of."

"You do?"

"I do. I promised my wife and my mother we'd have dinner together; soon. When I sat in the plane I thought soon should be tonight, then I changed my mind, tomorrow is soon enough for soon. Tonight I want to be alone with you, want to spend my time with you and nobody else."

"Sounds like a really good plan." She snuggled into his arms. "Your mother will understand that we need some privacy. After all, she told us to spend more time together."

"My father died too soon, she's afraid we waste our time, spend too much time with other things instead of being together. Our relationship isn't like most others, for her generation it's impossible to be married and not be together all the time. She was brought up with the old rules and not the new freedom, we both need to be happy. And only when you're happy you can make your partner happy."

"True. You must be very happy right now." She smiled.

"I am. Being with my wife makes me always happy. Oh, I've got something for you." From underneath the table he pulled out a little parcel and handed it over to her. "Open it."

"Okay." Pushing down on the couch and sitting on his lap, Sara unwrapped the parcel and found a pot inside, around a foot high. "What's that? You didn't steal old pottery from the graves you work at, did you?"

"No, of course not. I made it myself, tried to copy the style of the Moche. I thought, you need a pot for the plant my mother got you and this one will remind you of your husband."

"Thanks." She kissed him. "I like it a lot." Another piece that could remind her of him when he was gone. But it was much better to have him here with her and make some memories for the time he was gone again.


	100. Turn in, tune in, drop dead

100. Turn in, tune in, drop dead (11.16)

"Gil, did you ever tried tetrodotoxin?"

"I beg your pardon." Grissom looked confused at his wife. Did she really say what he heard or was there something wrong with the connection. Did she ask if he ever tried tetrodotoxin?

"Did you ever tried tetrodotoxin? Or worked with it in one of your experiments?"

"No...why...how do you come to such a question? Don't tell me, you want to try it."

"Uhm...no. The last case I worked, three teenager took a cocktail of tetrodotoxin and other things and two of them died. One of them was pronounced dead by officer Mitchell and when I came to the scene the body was gone. The second was taken into autopsy, David took his liver temperature, turned, talked on the phone and when he turned, the dead man stood behind him. Like a zombie. Poor David passed out."

"How did they get their hands on this stuff? You can't just buy it in a supermarket."

"A former professor, who tried to experience the life after death before he was banned from college, helped them out. He was in contact with the third teenager, who wanted to meet her dead mother again. She survived the trip...well, the other two would have too if one hadn't killed the other and ended up in front of a car later. The professor took enough tetrodotoxin that he won't come back at all."

"And you complained my experiments were bad. I never killed somebody."

"Only injured them a little bit, I know. If you had tried to make zombies out of us, I don't think I had married you. I really love you but I prefer to be alive and live with you."

"So do I. Zombies. Las Vegas seems to attract all kind of people, we had alien cases and now zombies come over from Haiti. A place I would like to go to with you one day."

"As long as we don't make zombies I'm happy to come with you. My work gets me very close to dead people every day, I don't need to meet nearly dead people."

"Neither do I."

"You have dead people around yourself, well the remains of the dead people. Any news of the Moche? Did you find more graves?"

"No, we're still working on the last one, it seems to be bigger than expected. An amazing scenery, I took some photos for you and will send them to your email account later. You know, when you get a few days off, you should come here. Besides the Moche here are all kinds of animals, you could take some really nice photos."

"Not to forget my husband is there too and I might miss him, enjoy his company." Sara smirked. A little trip to Peru to see where Grissom worked now. Why now? It had been a while that she visited him at his work place.

"You miss him? Are you sure?" Grissom teased.

"Most times. Not when I'm out in this new club with the male stripper, I've to say, Cath knows some really nice places, no wonder she didn't move in with Vartann, this way she has more freedom to stay out the whole night."

"A new club with male stripper? You're a bad liar, Sara. Are you trying to make me come back to you sooner?"

"Maybe." She flashed a smile. A jealous husband should leave his work right away and come to his wife. It was worth a try, that it didn't work out wasn't a surprise. When she wanted to manipulate Grissom, she needed a better plan.

"The next time you tell me you miss me and need to see me soon because it's hard for you to get through the day without me and I come back home."

"I miss you need to see you soon because it's hard for me to get through the days and nights without you. Please come back ASAP."

"That's much better. I see what I can do for you. For us." He blinked at her.


	101. Hitting the cycle

101. Hitting for the cycle (11.18)

"Oh, you bought some flowers for me, that's nice." Grissom said when Sara came home with flowers in her arms.

"No." She put the flowers away to have her arms free for him, kissed him and pulled him closer. "Actually I got the flowers from another man. Where are the ones you got me?"

"In Peru, their blossoms were too nice to have them cut and taken to here so they'd die. I thought you enjoy a few photos of them more, see them alive and where they belong."

"True." She smiled.

"Who did give you flowers? I need to call Conrad and have him fire this man."

"Doesn't matter who it was, he gave them to me because we were about to hit the cycle and some people got very excited about it. Nick and Greg bet a lot of money, so did Hodges and Henry had to play bookie. Without you the lab turned into a casino."

"What case was missing for the cycle?"

"A natural. The guys tried everything to get one, I had the feeling it was the only thing that counted. Only the evidence about COD and not so much the rest."

"Did you win?"

"I didn't join the game, sorry. Doc Robins won, he said Dave would find the natural. He did. In the morgue. Their new assistant, Kevin, a jerk from Los Angeles, laid dead on an autopsy table. I know I should feel sorry and be sad but this guy was so annoying..." Sara looked apologetic.

"He won't annoy you anymore; nor anybody else. I want to get back to the flowers..."

"Are you jealous because I got flowers?" She furrowed her brows. Was he serious?

"Does he know you're married?"

"Greg asked the same when I told him about the flowers." Sara chuckled. "Yes, he knows I'm married, he knows I'm your wife and there's no way I want another man in my life than you. And to make you feel less jealous - although I've to say I like that, I like seeing you jealous - he is gay. No danger for you, no need to get him fired."

"Okay, he can stay. You took them home because they're from a gay guy?"

"No, I took them home because they're mine and they need sunlight. the lab hasn't changed, Gil, it's still dark in there, not the best place for flowers. You know I prefer plants." Her eyes moved to his plant, he gave her years ago. She treated it like a treasure. Grissom's first gift to her, his first sign of affection, that he cared for her. No matter how busy she had been with her job, no matter if she lived in Las Vegas or somewhere else, she always made sure the plant was in good hands. And she always had the card, he attached to the plant, around her.

"I'm surprised it's still alive. It grew a lot."

"Well, I take good care of it. It's your first gift, everything I get from you is a treasure."

"Want some more treasures?" He bent over and kissed her. "A man gave flowers to my wife. Means I've to offer you something better. Why don't you - or we - go to bed and later I invite you to dinner. Candle light dinner, you might a rose then."

"I like the bed part most of it. Will I get some more kisses there?"

"You'll get more than only kisses, you get everything you want."

"I want you." She got her arms around his neck, pulled his head closer and kissed him. The flowers were nice but the lips of her husband were better. For Grissom she'd give away all flowers.


	102. Unleashed

102. Unleashed (11.19)

"Do I have to tell you about my case or did you get all the information from your special friend?" Sara said when Grissom's face appeared on the screen. Irritated he looked at her like she was talking in riddles.

"Which special friend? And hello to you, my Darling. Nice to see you."

"Yeah, ditto. Lady Heather...no, Doctor Kessler. She's up to date about you and the Moche."

"Oh, you met Heather, how is she?"

"You should know, you seem to keep in touch with her." Sara couldn't help but sounding pissed off. It had been hard to act like she didn't care the new doctor knew about her husband, where he was, what he did. The other woman made it obvious they kept in contact. Without Sara knowing about it. Another secret, how many more did they share?

"Yes, she's a friend...I thought we've been through this..."

"So why don't I know about your friendship to the good doctor? How comes we don't meet her for dinner when you're here?"

"I didn't have the feeling you want to meet Heather...but if you do, we can invite her over to dinner. Sara...Heather and me...we are friends...nothing else. She's important to me but that doesn't mean I'm romantically involved with her."

"No, you slept with her without a romantic relationship but with your great friendship."

"I was hurt. You told me it's over, I knew it was my fault. Do we have get through this again?"

"As long as you keep secrets from me I'm afraid this will come up again."

"I married you because I love you and that means there is no other woman in my life. There are female friends but I treat them the same way I treat male friends. I can't change the past, neither can you. We can continue to argue about it, you can continue to be mad with me for something I did over two years ago. Or we stop wasting our time and talk about us."

"Aren't we talking about us?"

"No, you accuse me of betraying you because I stay in touch with a friend. Would you feel better if I don't talk to Heather anymore? When I tell her, we have to end your friendship because you don't like it, that it make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No." Sara bit her lips. No, she didn't want Heather to hear all these things, it was bad enough that the doctor knew them anyway. When she heard them from Grissom it made everything.

"So, what's your solution for our problem?" He stayed calm like he talked to a child.

"In our case grown up people pretended to be pets of other people. They acted like cats, dogs or ponies. Our victim was a cat, I was sure she was killed by her 'owner' but we found out she died after a fight with her former colleague, who tried to save her. Save her from something she didn't want to be saved from...a stupid act...just like mine a few minutes ago. Right?"

"Sara, I love you and when you're jealous it shows me two sides. The first that you love me, care for me, don't want to share me. The other side is, that there are doubts inside you that make you believe I'd cheat on you. This side makes me sad because I've no idea how to make this side disappear. I don't want you unhappy and when you're jealous you're unhappy."

His words made her feel how tears worked their way up to her eyes and she swallowed hard to keep her balance. "I'm sorry for being...me."

"Don't be sorry for being you, I love you because you are you."

"I don't want you to...stop being friends with Heather...it's only...she makes me feel unsure about...everything. It seems like she...she needs a few seconds and knows everything about a person, like she can connect with everybody. She got Ray, it was like she could see through him, saw his secrets. It scares me."

"She's a good therapist and psychologist. And a great friend. Maybe one day you and her can be friends too. If you want, we can have dinner with her. If not, we won't. It's all up to you."

"I think about it. Thanks." Sara took a deep breath. What was it about Heather that made her lose her self-confidence all the time?


	103. Father of the bride

103. Father of the bride (11.20)

"I'm sorry to disturb your holidays."

"So why do you do it, Greg?" Sara's voice was relaxed. She was in Peru since two days, spent some time with Grissom at the graves before they left for a few days at the beach. Not a beach for themselves this time but still a nice spot for a couple in love. And wireless internet to keep in touch with friends - or work. It seems like Greg's call was a work related call.

"Because...we need you back in the lab soon."

"Since when is this your call and not Catherines? Are you promoted to the lab supervisor?"

"No I asked her to do the call so I can listen to your voice - and see you. By the way: hello Grissom, you look relaxed and good."

"Not that relaxed anymore when I hear you want to see my wife and order her back to Vegas. Do you have any good reason for that?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I have. Haskell is back, he was in Vegas, his wives killed three people before one killed the other. After working all the evidence we have, Brass came to the conclusion Haskell is in L.A. and we need to go there too - means we need you back here and help with the case. Sofia wants to call the Feds and isn't happy Ray more or less talked her out of it in the first place. There are a lot of tensions and more bodies. We need you here, Sara. Sorry."

"When?"

"When can you be back?"

"Not today and not tomorrow. Give me two or three days. And why is Sofia involved in this case? Since when is she in charge?"

"You didn't read the department news email? She' the new Deputy Chief."

"Impressive. Okay, I try to change my flights, looks like I've no other choice."

"Yeah. Sorry. Grissom, you can join your wife, we can need you here, in case you have nothing to do. Would be great to work with you again." Greg said and looked at Grissom.

"Nice try but I think it's enough when you get my wife."

"We can't work without her, you know she's too good to be left out. I let you organize yourself and spend the rest of the time in peace. Sorry to break up the vacation. See you."

"Not your call. Thanks Greg, I see you soon." Sara switched off the computer and sighed. Her vacation was over, sooner than expected. Right now she regretted to be a CSI again. "Sorry Gil. That wasn't what I've planed, what I want."

"I know. And I know enough about Haskell and his wives to understand, you have to go back. We'll repeat this trip another time, with more time and without an unsolved serial killer case."

"Yeah." She sat on his lap, embraced and kissed him. "They want to go to L.A., maybe I can meet them there...I don't want to meet them there, I want to stay here."

"I know. Responsibilities are horrible. A smart person once said, the best thing you can do is not taking any responsibilities and when you have them already, try to lose them ASAP. The problem is, you're a very responsible person, a reason why you're so good in your job."

"What about my responsibilities to my husband? I'm a wife, not only a CSI."

"Your husband understands you, he's away from home most times. I'm the last one who will tell you off for doing your job. It's my job that keeps us apart all the time."

"Or mine. I could come with you, like you gave up Vegas to be with me. Maybe now it's my time to quit the CSI life and be with my spouse."

"No, we talked about it before, we knew it won't be easy all the time. We get you a flight back for tomorrow and I talk to my guys and see if I can come over when you're done in L.A.."

"Are you sure?" Sadly she looked at him.

"Yes. We can work this out." He kissed her and pulled her in his arms. Of course he was disappointed that Sara had to leave him, but he understood the reasons why. If he were in her shoes, he'd do the same.


	104. In a dark, dark house

104. In a dark, dark house (11.22)

The only thing that made Sara take a step after the other was the fact, that at the end of the stair her husband was. She knew Grissom arrived today, was at home and waited for her to come home too. After their vacation had been ended by the department, he asked for a few days off and flew to Las Vegas when Sara told him, she was back from L.A..

Without words she let herself fall into his arms and held onto him. For the first time in a few days she felt how her body relaxed a little bit. All the tensions from the distances and reasons she traveled the last days, started to let go of her body. Unfortunately they left her body via her eyes, as big cold tears, dropping on his shirt.

"Sorry."

"Ssshhh, it's okay." Carefully he placed his arm around her and guided to the bedroom, pushed her on the bed, took off her shoes, joined her on the bed and pulled her into his arms. "Take your time, take all the time you need and don't be ashamed for your tears. They help you. I'm here, I hold you and when you want to talk to me, I will listen. Don't force yourself."

Sara closed her eyes. So many pictures. Of the last days, of things she saw, things she didn't see but saw now like she had witnessed them. Doubts, thoughts, tensions.

"Haskell is dead."

"That are good news."

"Yes. No. The problem is, Ray killed him and...I shouldn't say this, shouldn't even think about it but...you know, the evidence at the scene suggests that he acted not only in self-defense. There are so many different things that add up to this...like we have a photo that shows, he was cuffed with the plastic ties we use...there weren't any at the scene and in Ray's kit were all three of them...and I...no cuffs at the scene means there weren't any. Nobody mentioned them in the reports, so the marks must be...something else. And Ray had his three..."

"You believe he replaced the missing one?"

"No...I think...gosh...I shouldn't say it. I've no evidence for this accusation."

"You're not accusing, you're telling your husband what you think because he wants to hear your thoughts. What do you believe, Sara?" Grissom knew, it was better for Sara when she said her thoughts out loud. No matter if they were right or wrong, she had evidence for them, they made feel bad, made her suffer. He needed them out of her head.

"I think somebody put the third one in the kit. And I think that...some people...were a little bit creative with reading the evidence. Which is totally human, Ray is our colleague and naturally we want to protect him but...we also want to know the truth, right?"

"Finding out the truth is the job of a CSI, yes."

"I don't think I found out the truth...only parts of it and I doubt I'll ever hear the whole truth."

"Do you still respect your colleagues?"

"Of course!"

"You believe one or some of them didn't tell you the truth, that can make you lose trust in them. Also natural, Sara. Like protecting your group, especially when you're sure, the act that was done, was understandable and we had done the same. When Nathalie had you, I can't promise I hadn't hurt her if we weren't in the department. And if something had happened to you and I had seen her without witnesses, I can't promise I hadn't done anything to her. Love is strong, hate and the wish for revenge too. You're the most important person in my life, if somebody takes you away, I hunt this person down and won't show any mercy."

Sara thought about his words. What if somebody hurt Grissom? Would she wait for a judge to get justice or take the law in her own hands? As a CSI she had to wait for the judge to decide, as a wife she'd do it herself. Grissom was right, there were moments when you acted the way your instincts told you, and not the way the law wanted you to act.

But this didn't make the taken action legal or all right, did it?


	105. 73 seconds

105. 73 seconds (12.1.)

"Since when do you let me wait? I thought we had a breakfast date. Years ago you were on time every time we closed a case and met here." Grissom smiled when Sara walked into the diner. They had made an appointment with each other at the diner, they used to meet for coffee after cases years ago. The first place, they spent time together, private time.

"Sorry, I sent you a text, didn't you get it?"

"I did, don't worry, I didn't sit here for an hour and waited. What made you put me off?"

"My new supervisor." She smiled, kissed him and sat opposite to him, like she did years ago.

"How dare he? Doesn't he have a private life? Can't he just go home after shift?" Grissom chuckled. He wasn't mad but hearing Sara's supervisor made her leave late, reminded him of the times when he was her supervisor and she worked a lot of doubles, had no private life. Like he didn't have a private life.

"He does, a wife and kids. But he had his whole team in the department for the first time, a reason to celebrate. Oh, we've got also a new team member. Ecklie's daughter."

"Ecklie's daughter? I didn't know he has a daughter, who is a CSI."

"Yes you do. I told you about her, Morgan from Los Angeles."

"You never said she's Ecklie's daughter."

"I didn't? Oh, well, she is. Lucky for us she isn't like her father. I think she fits in well."

"A new CSI from California...the last time graveyard got a Californian girl, they were very happy about my decision. I think, I got the best CSI for them, I could find."

"For them or for you?" Sara cocked her head. Her team wasn't that happy about her first.

"Both. I knew you were the best for the team and for me. My only problems were that I was your supervisor and that I am who I am. No need to give you more explanations, you know what I mean, you had to live through it for years. When I think back now, I can't understand why I fought for over five and a half years against my feelings. Must have been the scientist inside me, the head person. Now I know the heart makes much better decisions." Grissom took Sara's hand and kissed her fingers. "I'm glad we're here. I'm really happy you married me after all what happened. I wasn't the easy way to take."

"No, you weren't. You aren't But I like challenges and I wanted you. When I want something I fight for it, even when I suffered a couple of setbacks."

"Yeah...are you happy now? The way it is?"

"Yes. Of course there are things that could be better, like the fact we don't see each other a lot. So far it works out for us and I hope, when one of us gets uncomfortable with the situation, we can work something out to make it good for both of us." She took his hand. "Unusual isn't bad, uncomfortable and unhappy are bad."

"I'm very happy with you and I'm happy you're happy with your job again. You needed the time away, needed to see something different than death. Like I do now. The good thing is, we have us, we can rely on each other. And I know that when I want to come back, I can come back to Vegas. Not as your supervisor but who knows, maybe I get another job here and we have an ordinary family life; a dog, a picket fence, a little house and a family car."

"We don't need a family car for us."

"You never know." He smirked.

"Honey, I love you but we both agreed on no children. And, as much as I hate it, I'm not in the right age anymore to have my first child."

"You're in the best age for everything, Darling. And there's always the possibility to adopt." They had talked about adoption too. Maybe one day, when they settled down and weren't too old, they would adopt a child or two. Until then, they were their own little family.


	106. Bittersweet

106. Bittersweet (12.3)

After she closed the last case and had dinner with Russell, Sara flew straight to Peru to see Grissom. The last time she was here she was called back to the lab, this time she left her cell phone and computer at home. As much as liked talking to Greg, she didn't want to have her vacation ended by him or anybody else.

"You look much better today, sleep agrees with you, Dear." Grissom greeted Sara with a cup of coffee. She woke up a couple of minutes ago and decided to start the day with an extra five or ten minutes in bed.

"Thanks. And thanks for the coffee." She took it and sipped on it. What a way to start the day. In bed, your husband brings you some coffee, you don't have to get up and can relax more.

"You'll get breakfast in a minute. How did you sleep?"

"Good. It felt good to have you in my arms, I missed that a lot." She put the coffee away and pulled him into the bed, snuggled into his arms. "I missed being with you."

"Ditto. You shouldn't take your flight straight after work, some sleep would be better, makes you arrive not this exhausted."

"Yeah but I waste time when I sleep at home. I prefer to sleep with you, have you next to me."

"The last case wasn't an easy one, was it?" He stroke softly over her hair.

"No...do you remember Gina Sinclair? She and her husband abducted five teenage girls five years ago. She's out of prison, we found a dead female teenager in concrete, it looked like the cases five years ago. Another teenager went missing, the father of one of the four dead teenager got Gina, almost killed her, I convinced him not to do it because I thought, she had the other teenager. I reality it was Colleen, the only vic from five years ago, who survived. And I almost blew it when I told Gina's neighbors about her past. My supervisor wasn't happy with me and I almost got pulled off the case."

"I had you removed, Sara. For your own good and for the case." He said, knowing she would not like it.

"I know. We would have fought."

"Maybe. Probably. That hadn't changed my mind. I decided what I thought was best for the case and for you, no matter if you agreed on it or not."

"Yeah...you know, DB reminds me of you sometimes. He has some strange ways of working cases, like you had. But he's...he asked me for dinner, tried to figure out how I felt. When I asked you out for dinner, you said no."

"Because it wasn't work related. I really hope your supervisor doesn't flirt with you, isn't personally interested in you. If he is, he'll be in trouble with Ecklie - and most of all with me!"

"No, no need to worry." Sara smiled and kissed her husband. "I like him, I think he's good for the team but nobody can hold a candle to you. You're one in a million and I don't say that because we're married; well, not only because we're married." She smirked.

"You lost almost half of your old team, but you got some new members and from what you tell me, they are good people. And I think as long as you have Greg, you'll feel like home. As your husband I should worry about that, but I know, he's like a little brother to you."

"He is...and I think he has an eye on Morgan."

"Ecklie's daughter?"

"Don't mention Ecklie, it makes Morgan sound bad. She's a good CSI and if she and Greg become more than colleagues...well, there will be some gossip and problems with the lab policy...but there's no supervisor involved, it can work out."

"Yeah, hands off the supervisor. Is Cath now the assistant supervisor? Or will you become it?"

"Me? No way!" She shook her head. That wasn't her cup of tea. Too much politics, too much paper work. If she wanted to be closer to the supervisor, she spent more time with her husband, the best supervisor CSI ever had.


	107. CSI down

107. CSI down (12.5.)

"Do you think graveyard shift is cursed?" Sara asked Grissom when she had him on the phone. Tired she sat down on the couch and put her feet up. A long night, a long morning and way too much action for her. First her regularly nightshift, then court and when she was about to go home, she got the call that the copter, that was supposed to land with Morgan and a suspect at Desert Palms, was gone.

"No. Why? What did happen?"

"Morgan was kidnapped, the copter she was in first got abducted and then crashed. Nightshift doesn't seem to be very lucky for the CSIs, who work there." When Sara recalled her years in Las Vegas correctly, something happened to all of them. Shot, buried alive, attacked my a mob, kidnapped, a kidnapped daughter, seduced, killed. Grissom was the only one who wasn't hurt during his work time.

"Unfortunately it comes with the job, we work to get criminals behind bars, we work around them, sometimes they get their hands on us. That's why a CSI has a gun and is trained in self defense. Is Morgan all right?"

"Yes, she has some minor injuries, a shock and...you said we! You're not a CSI anymore or do you plan to come back any time soon?" Unlikely but his words made her hope for this little wonder for a moment. Her husband back in Vegas, them together. After a shift like today she could use him around, use his arms and hold on to him.

"Not any time soon, sorry. But the life of a CSI has still a big place in my heart."

"What about your wife? How big is her part in your heart?"

"She owns the heart. Sara, do you need me to come to Vegas?" His voice was filled with concern and for a second she was tempted to say yes, she needed him here. There was no doubt he'd come over if she asked him to do it, but it wouldn't be fair. He had work to do and couldn't fly all the time from Peru to Vegas.

"No, I'll be fine. It's just...it was a shock and brought back some memories. Somehow I get reminded of bad things all the time and the good moments don't come up again."

"They do show up, the problem is, they don't make you as happy as the bad moments make you sad. Would it help when you talk to the others?"

"No...not now. Greg is pretty shaken, he was supposed to be in the copter, Morgan offered him to go because he didn't want to leave the first scene. A guilty conscious for no reason but it never stops from bothering you anyway. I'd like to help him, but have no idea what to do."

"Probably there's nothing you can do, he has to deal with it alone. You said Morgan is okay, that will help him most. Maybe you can invite him to breakfast tomorrow. I know a pretty nice diner, where they serve good coffee and usually there are no cops or CSI around; except for one special one. She goes there since twelve years."

Sara smiled a bit. Their special diner. He was right, they never met a colleague or cop there, a good place when you wanted to be away from work. Should she share it with Greg? It was her and Grissom's place. Going there with somebody else seemed to be wrong.

"Maybe I invite him to here for dinner."

"Do that. And make sure my CSI is safe. When I come over in two weeks I want to spend some time with her; and maybe with my old team. Why don't you ask them, if we all meet for dinner? It's been a while that I saw all of them together."

"Sure, sounds like fun and I'm sure they want to see you. Do you want the new team members too? Or only the old team?"

"I let you decide, you're the wife, wives are the smarter half of the couple."

"I'm glad you see it this way." Sara grinned. Her husband always put a smile on her face, he was an amazing man.


	108. Willows in the wind

108. Willows in the wind (12.12)

"What are you doing here?" Sara looked surprised at her husband, who sat on the couch and smiled. Grissom never mentioned he'd come home today.

"I'm happy to see you too." He simply answered and pulled her in his arms to kiss her. She didn't give him a nice welcome but she acted the way he thought she would. Surprised.

"Of course I'm happy but...you never told me you'd come today."

"Call it a surprise. The second one for today."

"The second? How do you...Catherine? She told you about her decision?"

"Yesterday. I booked the next flight to Vegas, which was only a few days before I planed to come back anyway."

"I didn't know you planed to come over. What else did you not tell me?"

"A few things, but I'm sure you're not that into the life of the Moche. Anyway, what I can and will tell you is, that I love you and I'm happy to be with you. Even when it's only for a couple of days. You guys had a pretty rough time, Cath told me about the case...you never told me she was missing and you found her blood."

"Because we never knew what happened and fortunately we found out quite fast she was all right. Injured but alive and ready to fight back. If we hadn't heard from her by the end of the shift, I had told you." During the case she played a few times with the thought of calling him, telling him what had happened, but there were too many questions open, questions he would ask and she couldn't answer. What good is a call when you didn't get answers, only more questions? It only made you nervous.

"How is she?"

"She was pretty shaken when she realized her friend was behind all this, order the death of all these people, tried to kill her. And I think that she got demoted a few months ago hurt her more than she thought. She was a good supervisor and she only had to step down because of things she didn't do."

"Sometimes the problems are caused by things you didn't do and not by things you did do. I'm with you, she is a great supervisor but her team, or parts of her team, gotten out of her hands and one member killed a man. Like you said, it's not obviously self-defense and all these little things can add up. The supervisor has to take the responsibilities for the team."

"It added up to that she leaves Vegas now. I'm not sure if this is the best for the lab." It wasn't the best for her. Cath was a friend, she lost more than a supervisor today. Of course there would be a replacement for Cath, but nobody could replace her as a friend.

"No, it's not the best for the lab." He got up. "Come on, we have an appointment. Dinner."

"Why? Where? With whom?" Another surprise? How many had he planed?

"You're the investigator, why don't you come with me and investigate? Tangiers, the Blue Bar."

"High end, Sam Braun's casino...will we meet Catherine?" Sara asked. When Grissom knew about Cath quitting her job, they made an appointment to celebrate their reunion and her new job. She was one of his closest friends.

"You're a very smart woman. Yes. Come on, tonight it's the three of us, tomorrow will be your whole team for breakfast."

"Like in the good old times." Their whole team together, a nice idea. Of course Warrick was missing, but in their thoughts, their friend was there.


	109. Stealing home

109. Stealing home (12.15)

A little bit amused by her last case Sara went home, switched on the computer, started the chat program and went to get herself a beer when she saw, Grissom wasn't online yet. What a crazy family. All the fights, the shouting, the anger with each other, it reminded her a little bit of her own childhood; only that the fights then were more serious.

"Where's my wife?" Grissom's voice came from out of the computer. "Did you forget me?"

"No." She came back with her beer. When he saw her with the bottle he furrowed his brows. A beer after work, for most people nothing unusual, for him a reminder of a time when Sara drank too much because of private problems, she didn't talk about.

"I'm fine." She said when she saw his look and knew, what he thought. "But I deserve a beer after this crazy case. Did you ever have a case when a house was stolen? A real house."

"No...why does somebody steal a house? Were the owner on vacation?" Grissom relaxed when he noticed his wife was relaxed too and really had the beer because she felt like it and there were no problems involved.

"The first problem was, there was no real owner, it belonged to two brothers, who fought over it for a while. Their sister, who didn't want the house, asked guy, who tried to date her, to let the house vanish. He did and died while he did it. We found the house in the desert and these guys didn't stop fighting about it. We found another body, a friend of the family, who was killed in the house and an old body from a handy man. The two bodies were the work of the father of the guys, the sister is the daughter of the handy man and the mother, who got killed by the house. I tell you, a crazy family and a killer house."

"Sounds like it. So, who gets the house?"

"After we told them the transport of the house damaged a lot of cars, street lights, signs and other things and there was a hundred thousand dollar bill attached to the house, the guys didn't want the house anymore. The sister gave it to the city and now they're all...probably not happy but fighting again.

Oh, and we have a new colleague in the lab...she's crazy too. Finn...must be an old friend of DB. When Finn and me got out to the house and the men fought about it, Finn took a chainsaw and threatened to divide the house into pieces. That made them all shut up for a moment."

"Interesting way to calm down fighting men. She seems to use unusual ways of problem solving and not the politics way - not unlike a woman I know."

"Hey, I never used a chainsaw." Sara laughed. "But I think Finn is fun. She's, what did Greg say? A blood whisperer. Really good when it comes to read blood spatters."

"The team is complete again."

"The team will never be complete without you, Cath and Warrick. The new team is complete, but not the old team, the best team I ever worked with." She sighed. Her new colleagues were nice, but her old team...there was something about the old team. They were special.

"Ditto. We were all a perfect match and I miss you guys every day; especially you but that has nothing to do with work. As soon as it's possible I come back to Vegas."

"Careful, Mister Grissom, I expect you to keep your promises."

"Well, Misses Grissom, I keep my promises."

"Good...and it's still Sidle. Your mother still doesn't like that."

"She has to live with it. Do you see her often?"

"We meet once a week for dinner and talk about her son, we both love and miss him."

"And I love and miss the two of you." Grissom blew her a kiss. "More than words can say."


	110. Malice in wonderland

110. Malice in Wonderland (12.18)

"I read the card of the plant you gave me ten years ago. It still makes me smile." Sara confessed when she had Grissom on the phone and recalled her last minutes in the lab today.

"You have it back in the office? You want to look at it while you work?"

"Of course, it's growing, it looks good and it reminds me of you. Although, the card attached to it...you can write a new one, one with me text."

"I could but then it wouldn't be me. This card is special because it's me. You keep because it's an example of the relationship we had at this time. About how unable I was to express my feelings to you. A smart man but too stupid to say 'Don't leave, I need you more than the lab needs you. I'm sorry I hurt you'. "

"Were those your thoughts and feelings?"

"Yes."

Sara smiled softly. Oh, he was cute and she was glad, he managed to express his feelings now. To hear him saying he loved her made happier than anything else in the world. "You know, right now I feel like marrying you again."

"A second wedding? We can arrange that. What kind of wedding do you want?"

"Not a drive-through, not a theme wedding and not with armed robbers as guests."

"Armed robbers? Why would they be there? Was that your last case?"

"Yes. They robbed people, who bought their rings in their shop. This way they knew where and when the wedding was planed. Oh, and Ecklie gave me a strange look when I said to a witness, that being married is special. I'm not sure if he thinks the same."

"He must, he was married more than once. Surprisingly his wives didn't stay with him for a long time. Marriage seemed not to agree with him."

"No surprise here. You know, I don't know Morgan's mother but I'm quite sure Morgan is more like her than her father. He told me I watch too much TV. What else am I supposed to do when I work at night, my husband is abroad and I'm not supposed to listen to the police scanner anymore to have a life outside work."

"You need me back in Vegas so you have something to do? Others than watching TV?"

"I need you in Vegas because I love you. Which reminds me, when will you come back? I met your mother and she asked, when we'll have dinner together."

"Soon."

"You said the same the evening we talked with her on the internet in the lab."

"And I was with you soon. Maybe I plan a surprise. Do you want anything from Peru?"

"My husband."

"I see what I can do. You're not planning our second wedding in Vegas, are you?"

"No, I prefer a place less crowded. But first I need a proposal from the man I love."

"I'm sure you'll get one. Cath called me, she's fine, Quantico seems to be good for her and she wants to meet you all when she's back in Vegas, which should be next month. Her boss agreed that she can work in the Vegas office, you can meet for dinner or breakfast."

"That are good news. Especially when they mean, you'll be here for the breakfast too." She knew she sounded a little bit like a broken CD, but she missed him a lot and all these wedding cases made her...a little bit whiny. Being a married woman was good, being a married woman, whose husband lived in another country than herself, was difficult. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Today it was more difficult and she wanted and needed him in her arms.

"I promise you don't have to wait for me too long. I love you Sara and want to be with you." Grissom said, his words softly caressing Sara's heart. He missed her as much as she missed him.


	111. Chapter 111

111. Split decision (12.19)

Tired and with a strange feeling in her guts Sara came home from her last case. A twelve year old boy arranged the killing of his father by his brothers - all identical quadruplets, born in different years to different families. And he killed one of his brothers. A killer, she felt sorry for before she knew the truth. What was it with her and children, that they seemed to play with her easily? It wasn't the first time she felt played. With a grimace she remembered Hannah and put the thought of her away. Not what she wanted as her after work thought.

Kicking her boots away, she walked into the living room and stopped, staring at her couch.

"Gil!" Were her eyes playing her too? Was it really her husband? She had no idea he was here, that he planed to come over. On the phone yesterday, he didn't say a word about it.

"Surprise." Grissom got up and smiled. "Don't I get a kiss?"

Sara managed to get control over her legs, ran to her husband and kissed him. Grissom was here. Exactly what she needed today.

"I'm so glad you're here. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Because then it wouldn't be a surprise. How was your day?"

"Lets not talk about it, lets talk about your visit. It's becoming a habit that you surprise me here. Not that I mind, it's good to find you here. But when you tell me I can pick you up at the airport and I...I've something to look forward to." She blushed a little bit. Whenever she knew her husband was about to come back, the day and nights weren't that bad, he was her light at the end of the tunnel and whenever she looked at the calendar she saw the light coming closer.

"Sorry, the next time I tell you when I come back...although...there's another surprise for you." Grissom sat down, petted on the couch so Sara sat next to him. "I made a decision, a big one. One, I didn't talk about with you, which made me feel guilty for a few weeks but...I thought it's a nice surprise. My job in Peru is done and I...I took the offer of WLVU to guest lecture for half a year. Might be longer, depends on how much the students and I like each other."

"You'll stay here?" She didn't believe her ears. Was he really telling her, he wanted to stay in Las Vegas? That he wouldn't go back to Peru? That they could be together every day? Like any other couple? No more daily phone calls, it was daily kisses from now on.

"Yes. If you want me..." The rest of his sentence was washed away in a passionate kiss. A kiss, that made him fall backwards on the couch because Sara put her whole weight into it and simply pushed him down.

"I love you! I love you! I love you!"

"Love you too. And I understand this as a yes, you want me here."

"More than anything else!"

"Good. From now on, we'll share this place. Your life as a married woman, who doesn't have to take care of her husband, is over. From now on, we'll watch baseball together, drink a beer and have sex when my team wins - and when it loses too."

"We'll have sex because of baseball? This point might need to be discussed, Gil."

"Later. Now we have other things to do."

"Like what?"

"You need something to eat and while we get you some food, you'll tell me about your last case. I can see you took it home, it wasn't an ordinary case. I'd like to know about it, like you to tell me about it, so can put it aside and have your heart clear for other things."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. There's cake in the fridge, for our celebration. Want some kisses and cake?"

"Can't think of a better meal." Sara pulled Grissom in her arms. He'd stay here. His surprise visit was a surprise return. From now on they would live together. Maybe he'd leave in a few months again, but that was far away. What counted most was now.

* * *

THE END. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm sure there'll be material for a few more chapters after season 13


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